Wednesday Blurb

What a nice day.  Like these - sunny, comfortable yet cool, dry.  Praying for those that are wet.  How sad and scary.  Weather - what a challenge it is at times.

I'm not breathing yet.  Still waiting on things with the house.  Makes moving a disappointing, upsetting change instead of a happy, exciting one.  We ended up having to get a second mortgage..... on a house we haven't even moved into yet!!  And we are waiting for the paperwork to be finished, then sent to the lawyers etc.  I'm so scared and nervous about it. I do believe it will work out in the end - I just don't want the end to be near or over the last minute!  The mortgage broker is now not really talking with us, and just very business like. I suspect since he is covering for the original guy, that he's just going to let everything slip until next Tuesday when the original guy is back.  And we are to move in on the Friday of next week.  The lawyer and insurance still have to do there stuff too.

Got so bad I ended up crying to my mother.  Not someone I want to go to.  Not that she could do anything about it, she doesn't have access to that kind of money asap.  Besides, it's not like we don't have the money, well, I guess we don't until we get the money from our current house.....  I can't breathe.  I am nervous all over the place, and trying to keep positive and calm.  And pack.

I've got almost everything packed because I can't just sit, so I go and pack.  We still have a few weeks until the movers come.  Thinking we will be eating off of paper plates and fast foods.  Which to mention about food/ eating - that's going ok considering everything else. The appointment with Marly must have done something - yeah!  

Back to the new house - I am nervous, and wonder if we will live there long.  Not this current issue, but after we get in and settled.  I sometimes wonder if we will decide to move again. At least we won't have the issue about bridge loans as we will be in a freehold house and not on leased land.  The leased land is what screwed us with the bridge loan issue.

I worry about AJ's health as he has been peeing a lot more lately, last time ended up with cancer in his kidney and removed right kidney, so he's only got one left.  The EGR test shows his level is 42.  Better then the 34 he was last year, but still.  Seeing the kidney doc Sept 11th.  

Will I want to live in our new home all alone?  I don't know, of course, especially since we aren't there yet.  I think I would want to.  I really don't want to keep moving.  AJ says I can hold the house, I just have to be wise with $$$.  We had that talk because I was concerned and worried.  He's a good man, a wonderful hubby, and watches over me.  I am so thankful for him.  I know / I don't see me ever being with someone else after him.  I just can't see me wanting to.  I can't see me being able to meet someone new.  I can't see me being very sociable in Strathroy to such a point that there would be someone else.  I'm opting for making some friends when I get there, but I'm not overly depending on it.  Not that I'm not friendly etc, just the way life is for me.  

It's too exhausting to be someone I'm not, to pretend - or the fake it until you make it idea. I understand changing and stretching, growing out of your (my) comfort zone idea, and for that I'm good with, hoping for, aiming to do.  Reset me back to original programming, ha ha ha.  I like that, I'd like to remember/know who that person is and be her because that is truly me as opposed to a fake me.

And maybe that person is able to breathe, no matter what.  👄😸 

Little Ramble

Still feeling blah, but ok.  Throat still a bit sore, felt tired and spacey.  But onward.  Packed a bit, still have more to pack.

Everything was signed for the mortgage/bridge and off it went, everything was fine ...... until they input and realized we have a land lease, duh, we told you.  Nobody really went into that, so now although, apparently we have the mortgage and the bridge IF they get back to us.  Last we heard we would need to pay more for the bridge.  All day we called the broker - nothing, no call back, so we called the realtor - she emailed him.  We are waiting to hear what is happening.  Stress.

Saw Marly today.  Really like her.  She suggested working on rebooting me to original manufacturing setting!  ha ha ha.  But she's right.  Basically restart me back to original being before I started all the reasons I crave and need to eat/food for survival.  Which I laughed, because I told her after the last session I heard a thought about how I gain weight so that I can lose weight as that's what I do / that's what I know to do.

What is normal?  If I wasn't gaining and losing weight.... what am I suppose to be doing? She was right in alignment with where I am without me saying.  Glad I have another appointment with her before we move.  (God, I pray we are moving and everything settles before Sept 8).

Then I can still she her, but less and about 2 hours one way.  For now, I'm working on the outcome of today's session.  And working at not stressing over the bridge loan.

MIA

Yeah, I know, I'm MIA.  I don't feel well.  Sore throat, tired, nausead.  Sleeping.  Problems with bridge loan - sigh.  13 days to go!  More later.  Nap time.

A Peek

We went up to Strathroy yesterday to fill out forms for the doctor.  They said we would hear something in about 2 months.  Hopefully we get a good doctor like we have here. It is better to have a doc close to home.  

We also drove by 'our house'..... it's still there.  ha ha ha.  We just had to peek at it.  Also checked out the dog park - looks ok.  Then booted it quickly to London to go to the mortgage broker to fill out the forms.  After that we went to the Mattress store and bought a new mattress - to be delivered Friday Sept 15th at the new place, so we have something to at least sleep on and can skip paying for hotels!

Made plans for getting the car detailed before we leave, appointment to colour my hair, and still have to book Jax in for his spa day.  AJ says he's good - no need for a spa day for him.

Not really sure what to do today, a bit cool and I have everything basically packed up.  Oh, there is those 3 drawers I could go thru.... or just pack them as is.

Food is eh.  Still mostly Pooning with other stuff between. Like yesterday driving and stuck in traffic due to an accident. Got chicken take home from Zehrs.  Have a bunch of IP foods, but leery of using them for a day or two here and there.  Especially since I know with September and the driving up and down, then staying overnight etc... I'm simply not going to Poon or IP.  I don't want to yo-yo by doing well and losing weight then to stop and gain then to start on IP again.  With Poon my weight just seems to stall - so I'm eh, ok with that.  Do still need to watch, and am choosing better foods.

There's always water too!  That tends to be a workout. ha ha ha.

Going to see Suzanne tomorrow for a healing treatment and to say good bye to her.  Marly is on Monday.  Want to book an appointment with Jacqui at some point too before we leave.  They have been the ones that I have leaned on the most for help and guidance.  Friends, not so much people I lean on.  Guess that's a trust issue, and I don't want to dump on them.  I know that sounds weird and stuff, but growing up without connecting with others kinda made me depend more on those I pay for help and assistance then to look towards a friend.  People come, people go in my life so often that, well, I don't depend on them being there.  Except AJ - and even him with his health, doesn't mean one day he wont be there.

I'm worried about him.  He's been peeing a lot at night again. Last time he did that - kidney cancer and right kidney removed.  Can't do that again!  He's only got the one kidney left. I love him to pieces and can see my life would/will be so empty without him.  I can't see me being the life of the party, or even socializing that much without him around.  I'm trying to connect with others in Strathroy.  Sent out requests for the art group, and on fb but .... we we'll see what happens, who knows .... maybe I will be at least in the party! ha ha ha.

It's either lunchtime or naptime now, haven't decided.  Nap time is looking really good. zzzzzzzzzzz

Little Saturday

Found a few people on FB that live/work close to Strathroy that are doing IP.  Look forward to getting in touch with them and possibly meeting in person.  Would be nice to share IP with someone besides the new coach.  Laura transferred my file to Watford.

With this new computer I was having so much trouble with the mouse, we decided to bring the computer back, but in the end after talking with the guy we decided I would try a wireless mouse first - it's working so much better now with the mouse.  Things aren't disappearing or changing on me.

Found a decorator to come in that also knows Feng Shui. She's coming end of September.  Look forward to hearing what she suggests about the place.  And what colour she suggests.  I have put in an email to a proper Feng Shui consultant, but haven't heard anything back from her. Will try emailing her again next week and see if something happened via the email etc - I still would like her to come out as she's more Feng Shui registered then the decorator is.

Most of the packing is done.  Got a few more boxes and Home Depot had a sale on shelves.  Picked up 3 - 5 level ones for the basement.... or garage.  

Poon foods are ok.  Not much more to report, but then it seems no one is reading this anyways.  It's more for me that I started.  Maybe one day someone will read it and find help thru it.  Would be nice.

Ta  

Spaced

I'm spaced out and twisted.  Ugh.  My right shoulder is feeling twisted into my thumb/fingers.  Called for a massage - soonest is Monday.  Got AJ to massage me a bit - at least I can feel my thumb again.  Still stiff, weak and sore when moving it, but I can feel it.

I've also noticed I can't see the computer as well anymore - need to get my eyes checked, but going to wait until we get to Strathroy for that.  In the meantime I'll use the glasses I have and increase the writing on everything.  Hence the bigger writing here! ha ha ha,

Called Suzanne for a holistic healing too.  Kinda two fold idea - one to get the healing treatment and one to say good bye to her.  She was/has been very helpful in my journey here.  Thru her I met Jacqui, and another woman - who mentioned Marly to me.

Booked to get the back breaks done in the car next week too. Going to need to find a new mechanic.

Almost finished packing.  Just have the sunroom and some clothes to do.  Considering that I'm spacy and tired and not seeing well, I might skip doing anything today....or just do some clothes.  I'm not one for really just sitting around doing nothing.  I get bored doing that.  Even though at times it's the best thing for me.

I noticed too that I'm a bit on edge or down.  Not sure if something is going on, or just because of being tired.  I'm happy about the moving, I'm not stressing over it or the packing as I have a lot of time to do the little bit that's left.  I'm eager to get to our new place. I've been looking up places like pharmacies, doggy daycare etc. Found a woman in London that does Feng Shui consultanting / colour consultanting, I emailed her and now waiting for her to confirm coming to visit.  Wonder why she hasn't responded back as we have been emailing for a bit.

Food is still calmer, and ok.  Not great as it's still more on the main line / Poon then IP.  Especially with all the packing I've been doing. Outside work took a few days.  Lunging all those rocks so they can move took a bit too!  🙌  Apparently there are 4 rocks that want to come with me in the car and not in the truck.

My shoulder is fatiguing, so that's about it for the moment.  Til later!

Monday Report

This will be a quick report, as there's not much to report! Weekend was gone faster then I realized.  Went and saw mom on Saturday.  Jax enjoyed running in the yard, little does he know in a month he will have his own back yard to run in.

Sis was there.  Not a happy camper and trouble with her hubby.  Enough on that.

Mom was happy about our new house, and I showed her the photos I had of it.  She liked the house.  I don't think she will come up and see us as it's too far for her to drive.  My sis says she doesn't think she can come visit and bring mom. So that kinda makes her visiting a long shot.  Would be nice if she could make it up.  Her driving now a days is mostly close to her home.  Even coming up here is too far for her to drive.

During the night on Friday, I started burning pain.  I know that means my arthritis is flaring.  Probably between the sun, my packing, and the pain I have been feeling - I've been flaring. Decided instead of waiting i would take my 5 Prednisone in hopes of it stopping the burning flare before it gets worse. Has helped, I'm not flaring now, just a bit of burning pain in my feet.  Rest is just painful.

I got most of the stuff out of the sheds.  Just one shed has the car tires and 8 cartons of rocks in it.  Rest is on the deck. Have one more moving guy come to get an estimate tomorrow.

End of the report.  
Ta. 

Friday Ramble

Not much to report - mostly packing.  Tomorrow going to go to my mom.  She's accepted we sold and bought a house so far away from her.  She really didn't want us to move, but as we continuously told her that AJ had no freedom to go anywhere.  She was happy that we found a house and we are excited about it.

What I have been noticing is that I'm feeling underlying pain.  It's making feel crying inside and edgy.  I think // sense it's from all the packing I've been doing. I've been also packing outside in the sun.  I've cleaned up most of the outside stuff and bring it up onto the deck for packing.  I got all the stuff out of the big shed that I had to pack for the staging.

I've cleaned out two of the small sheds and have the other two to do.  I will probably keep one for packing day as it has the winter tires and rocks in them.  I have potted the plants I want to take with me and they are on the deck.

The edgy pain hurts.  I've been Pooning more because of all the work I've been doing - IP is just too little.  In need more energy then IP offers - explains why IP says not to exercise when on it.

Interesting I have noticed that I really don't like Poon foods compared to IP.  I feel more bloated with the lower carb foods that Poon uses.  I'm not hungry but hungry for energy, which makes eating 'funny'.  I don't want to eat, but need to eat something.  Tonight was pork chops / cauliflower / asparagus, dessert was flax brownie with cherries, and tea of course.  I didn't want to eat it, but after dinner I did feel a bit better.  All day I was so very unfocused and dizzy.  I slept in the afternoon (after doing outside packing this morning).  I woke when John rang the bell to see if I wanted the grass cut today or Monday, 2 hours later.

Asked him to come Monday as the grass isn't that bad, and when he comes if he could help take apart the sauna - yes, he would.  Also have to remember to ask him to take the 'birds' off the side of the house too.

I'm so looking forward to moving!!  (And unpacking - ha ha ha 😺)

Score

Found a place.

We decided to increase the $$ again, and therefore we looked at a place that was listed when we were down there the other day.  It was listed already for a week, so our agent said to come down yesterday instead of today.  We liked it, made an offer and drove back here.

At 5pm we got a call from our agent, she said that there was another couple that were going to put in an offer that night, but found out we had already done that, so they backed out. Hurray no bidding war!  The guy signed off on our offer.  We move in Sept 8.  30 days.  29 days now.

Busy times.  Funny thing was, few days ago I was calmer with IP/foods and more on track with it.  Seems every day is getting better food wise.  So glad about that.

Off to continue packing.

Look

I've been down in London last few days looking.  Nothing, nothing, nothing that works for us!  Urgh.  Count down is on.  Tomorrow I'm going to continue packing and then we go back to London on Wed or Thursday.

Unfortunately we didn't get back in time to pick up Jax, so he sleeps over one more night.  Cats are happy - I guess.

Food is so so.  Hard to drive around, up and down so much.  We are using bars at times, so that's helpful.  Wendy's salads I think aren't good for me, bloating and lower back pain.

Not much more.

Night.

Where Do I Go From Here

Looks like the move is on it's way.  Tomorrow the guy has a home inspection on this house, and on Thursday we are planning to go to London to view houses.

We have decided on looking only in London and Strathroy.  Called Beth and have a list of 13 houses at the moment to look at.  Jax goes to the kennel/day care.  Carl said he'd look in on the cats.

The buyer guy has until Friday 6pm to tell us if he's fine with the house.  If he wants changes to the agreed $$$ - and it's just minor changes, we are going to cancel the whole agreement.  Therefore we will have to start again.  BUT I feel that that this will go thru wonderfully.  I'm excited.

Marly re-aligned my bars, that helped and Jacqui cleared some issues.  Basically my ego is trying to bring me back into fear.  And hence I am going in the right direction.  My foods / eating is going well.  Much more calmer, basically IP and Poon plan.  With all the moving etc even Jacqui says not to worry about my foods - I need to focus the energies on the bigger picture.

I need to get moving to clean for tomorrow's home inspection.  I know it's not the cleaning they are inspecting, but I do like it to be neat, tidy, and clean.  That's me.