Onward

Ah, it's Friday.  Actually that doesn't mean much for me.  Just that it's jammie day tomorrow.  Going to relax tomorrow as I went for a Biophoton Therapy again today.  Promptly had work done on my owies from Sunday's ice fall.

Has a bit of a headache last night.  Around 2am I decided I wasn't going to get up early and go for exercising, so I turned off my alarm.  At 530am I woke... by 6am I was basically awake, grouched about it, and got myself up by 615am.  AJ had a bad night so he slept in.  I got myself out and up to the gym - did my cardio and weights.  Was glad I got it done.  My headache was gone anyway.  Was wet and damp all day - figure that was where my headache came from.

Yesterday was Poon day.  Down 1.9 lbs in water.  Dr B wants me to go back to more Phase 1 eating.  Sigh.  I'm ok during the day, by 5pm to 9pm I just get the munchies and hungry longings.  I feel like I'm dying to eat.  I KNOW that's not true.  I know it's an emotion trigger.  I'm hoping Monday's therapy appointment will help me deal with this.  I know it's all up to me to just change my goals in the evenings.  I think spring / summer, with better weather will also help. Even typing away here, there is a part of me that wants to run and see what there is to eat.  I'm not hungry - I know that.  It's emotional.  I work at trying to get to why / changing it.  Drink water.  Type it out.  Too cold and wet to walk.  Could go and clean the bathroom... maybe I will.  Or maybe I will just go onto an OA website and listen to one of the talks.  Currently the news is on, AJ is watching it, but soon, or I could leave, I could do one talk.  That actually might be an excellent idea!  🌟

Just so you know, it's not chocolates that I'm hunting.  I'm hunting pretty much anything.  So I could get some chicken and salad.  I know though, that I'm full from dinner and I don't have room to add chicken / salad.  Even water doesn't fit in that much.  There is enough veg in the fridge to eat.  The more I'm typing the less I want to eat something.

Drives me crazy (a bit) that I can sense 'emotions' just underlining in me and I can't seem to grab it.  Even so, today's typing is helping me breathe thru it.  Part of it is, I am tired.  Not enough to sleep, but enough to be fatigued.

So.  Now.  I'm going to veg a bit more with the news / TV and then get myself moving.  There's always laundry.......

More Exercise?

Have been exercising.   Doing cardio and weights.  Tiring.  Though I do find that it helps me with having more energy and a clearer head.  I tend to sleep better too.  Not always, but most nights.  I see in the gym a woman who comes does the bike for about 10 mins, and then walk for about 10 mins.  I think that's wonderful!  I remember those days - the feeling of just trying to get myself to exercise at something.  I believe even if one does something for 5 mins a day - that's great.  There is a start.  Some days when I was so ill I just couldn't, other days I was just too lazy, and then others I just figured why bother.  I still have the why bother days sometimes.  Once I get going, I am glad I did something.  I had to challenge myself to start.  Sometimes even a minute of just marching in place was all I could and would do.  Best part is after a workout - it's breakfast time!  Like this morning!

On cardio days only I try for 40 mins of intervals of 2 mins.  I have gotten better at lasting on the stepper (dam*n it, still can't spell that other proper word for it).  At first I could barely do 2 mins.  And that was the machine that I pulled all my shoulder muscles on too (about 4 weeks ago).  I also go between the stepper and the treadmill.  Start with 5 mins treadmill, onto the stepper for 5 mins, back to the 5 mins treadmill, back to the stepper - for 10 mins, back and forth for 40 mins with more time on the stepper.  Same for weigh day but only 30 mins.

Weight days 30 mins cardio, then at this point 4 rounds x 12 of the weights Josh has listed.  April he will have new ones, and on the days he shows he has me do extras.  Monday I was so wiped!!!  At the end he wanted me to do my leg lifts with 10 pounds in my hand and same leg up - I tried and started laughing - I can't do it, my butt!  I'm going to have to get AJ to rub my butt again.  Josh, the other guy & woman in the gym all laughed.  He let me do the lifts without the weights.  Though today I was able to do it, Monday I was just so done.

After all that I come home and usually walk Jax.  The either breakfast or shower first.  This morning I was up at 630am, in the gym at 7am, back home walking Jax at 830am (gym is less then a minute away), into the shower, finished - finally breakfast at 930am.  Occasionally too I will get into the sauna.

I'm impressed with myself as I fell again on the ice Sunday, hurting my left side - and head, and I'm still exercising.  So, in about 4 weeks - 2 major hurts, and instead of not exercising, I continued!  That's impressive for me!!  Hurray!  High Five  ✋✋✋✋✋ 

Sunday Rambles

AJ has pain in his right leg (stroke side).  Sigh.  So he's not exercising.  Makes exercising lonely.  But I'm going.  We were going to go to the Home Show, but I went quickly alone to that too.  Was ok.  Needed to find some more Siding people.  We went to the bank on Friday, and she explained that we could use some (just a bit) of our line of credit to put siding on our house.  Can't do all we want to the house, but if we put up the siding, then we would be ahead.  So we are looking for some people who will do it, and see what the budget / cost will be.

I checked if I could sit up on the bench at the gym.  I can get myself up half way, but not totally.  It's too ... nervous for me.  There's no sides, I don't want to fall off.  I will continue working on it though!

I was thinking of making snacks instead of having a donut at dinner.  Ok, stop laughing.  Would be better if I did do that.  I have a recipe for cupcakes that I'm thinking of using.  Just have to find the time to make the stuff.....

Have been feeling a bit tired and fatigued these last few days.  But got myself to the gym.  Had bloodwork done, will bring it to the Needle Doc (acupuncturist) when I see him.  Looks like to me, that my iron is low, and my thyroid meds need to be adjusted.  Too much now.  Also, Dr B at Poon's will have her say on the bloodwork.  So will my RA doc, and family doc.  Will get different reports. What do you want to bet my RA / Family doc will say everything is fine, or maybe decrease the thyroid meds but leave everything else off the comments.

This week I go to Poon on Thursday, no art class.  Monday is Josh at the gym. Tuesday looks like a possible baking day.  I still want to finish raking, sure I will have lots of time in the coming days to do that.

Today's foods:
B - eggs, spinach, peppers, toast (lc), jam, cream cheese, hot chocolate / marshmallows
L - flax bagel with butter/jam, tea
D - cabbage with vinaigrette, salmon, beans, tea, donut
S - meringues and a havla

Doing semi-ok with the water.

Healing!

Today was semi-cold out, but the sun was shining.  So after coming home from art class - did some paintings, and after lunch, I went outside.  Paintings turned out well.  This one surprised me:

With the first stroke of the white... I realized it was done.

After lunch with AJ, I decided to take Jax outside with me and I started raking. Over the winter they dumped so much snow, dirt, sand, salt on our yard.  I even made a mountain out of it.

It took hours for me to clean the front.  I never got to the sides or back.  But at least the front is completely cleaned!  YEAH.  Tomorrow the rains/freezing rain/ or snow starts for the next few days. It might clean off some more of the deeper dirt.

I went for Biophoton Therapy the other day.  Was interesting.  So much so that I booked another appointment with her, and I booked an appointment for AJ!  I mentioned to Vickie that I had surgery around my stomach - cut completely around.  She said that cut the meridian lines and she asked if I wanted to start healing that.  It was important to do it as the lines weren't attached.  Going back to my weight training, one of the things Josh asked me to do was to get up from a laying down on the bench position.  He said to basically rock myself up and tighten my stomach.  I could NOT do that.  I'd have to lean sideways, put my arm/hand onto the bench, and push myself carefully up.

Last night waiting for AJ to come to bed, I suddenly thought I wonder if I can get up.  Don't know why that thought came, but...I tighten my stomach muscles / back muscles and go straight up. What Josh wanted me to do.  I DID IT!  The first try wasn't successful, but the second one worked.  I was stunned.  It was in the bed, and I said to AJ that I would try on the floor the next day.  I tried it. Again, first attempt wasn't successful, second attempt - with rocking, I was able to sit up!!  I truly, truly think it was the appointment with Vickie, and the healing she did on the meridian lines that did it.   That was the first appointment with her too.  Can't wait for the next one - next Friday.

I would LOVE if this Biophoton Therapy did some major change with AJ because of side affects he got with the stroke he had.  It would be so amazing if AJ could have some healing in something - his balance, his eyes, his walking, his arm, his right side.  AJ said it would be wonderful if he could be able to walk outside with me, even if he would still have to use the walker.  He can not walk on the road because it's too dangerous for him - his balance and sight causes him to be unable to walk safely.  That would be amazing for us to be able to go for a walk together.  It's really one thing I miss - to be able to walk with the one I love in the woods etc.  Any walk we do, must have pavement and AJ in his scooter.  I feel that this therapy will change something in AJ.

Today was a good day with the food and eating.  Tonight I'm doing better. Did have a snack, but nothing like I have been doing lately.  One of the things Vickie thought was that I was starving as I wasn't getting the nutrients.   We didn't work specifically on that, but .....

And I'm drinking water, at least continuing to get it down.  😄

In the Evening

Went out Sunday with AJ - to a home show.  Had a wonderful time.  Bought some frying pans and a dust cloth.  Found a lot of interesting things we could do around the house - siding (dream of ours), re-do porch and put on roof (over the porch), and rubberize the deck.

Jax got to go to daycare.

As usual of days - we had breakfast, after doing 40 minutes cardio and shower, and off we went.  I was fine food wise.  I was fine with dinner.  And then.... I was munchy.  Looking for everything to eat.  Had chicken, jello, then had a chocolate.  I hate the fact that evening eating gets to me.  Most of the time that's where I lose it.  I don't know why.  Actually thinking that I will go back to the RTT - Jill - next month and see about dealing with that evening eating.  I continue to listen every night to the money tape and I'm calmer about spending / money.  Not that our $$ has increased, but I have noticed I am more aware and trying more to stay within our budget.  Have gone over, but also was almost over at the beginning of the month!  Next month will be a better indicator.

Monday we were up early for cardio and weights with Josh.  Felt tired after exercising but also happy and energized.  My arm still hurts but at can do my exercises.  

Went for a free acupuncture appointment at the physio place.  Was interesting. Dr Chris was different.  I ended up booking another appointment in two weeks. Went for my shoulder pain - which is doing better after the appointment with Dr Chris and physio.  I talked with him about weight also.  About my evening eating.  He wanted to see my T3 / T4 results, which funny enough, I am going for blood work on Thursday.  I agreed.

It's evening, and I've had dinner - pork chops, cabbage, green beans, jello, donut and tea.  I'm already wondering what snack to have.  Remember that protein fluff recipe?  I've improved on it as fruit isn't great for me.  I am mixing jello, a bit of almond milk, scoop of protein powder.  Like a pudding.  YEAH!

Add a Pinch of Salt

How dry I am.... Remember that song?  Ok, it really wasn't about water, but still..

I'm lacking water.  Ha ha ha.  Drank for a few days, and then slowed down. Have to re-water myself.  hee hee hee.

Will help (drinking more water) to wash out salt from the body.

I saw Dr B Friday.  I was actually GLAD to see her.  After wandering around doctors at Dr. Poon, I was happy to be back with her.  And I think I will aim to continue to aim to see her.  She was / is warming up to me, being more friendly and open, and I'm more comfortable and friendly with her.  Even when she's quizzing me on what I'm eating.  I changed me Wed March 29 to Thurs March 30 so that I could see her.  Didn't want to give up my art day, but funny thing - I have known for weeks that I wasn't going to March 30th art class as I would go to Dr Poon.  Don't know why, but just knew it at the beginning of the month.

I am down 1.5 lbs in fat, but up 2 pounds in water.  Retaining water because.... she asked if I was having deli meats, premade meats etc.  Nope not my thing, not on my list of foods I eat.  I do VERY occasionally have like a deli meat or ham but not in the last 2 weeks... or in the last 4 weeks.  I admitted it must be the salt. I like real salt.  I agreed laughingly to try the half salt - especially after she said that if it wasn't for my water retaining I'd probably be down a pound or 2 more. Makes drinking more water another reason to drink more water - will help drain water out of the body.

I admitted to increasing my snacks again this week too.  I was doing well at having just 3 snacks a day, but the last week snacks increased.  Mostly because I was emotionally upset with pain, and lack of sleep etc.  Unfortunately I still deal with things (emotions, pain) with food/eating. I continued to explain that we had started with an exercise trainer, and that I personally not because of the trainer, hurt myself.  Dr B in a friendly way, reminded me of the 3 snacks only, and not to let the trainer make me do something my body isn't able to do.  And to give up salt - at least use half salt.  I broke down and bought the half salt - I'm going to try with the salt, with the 3 snacks again, and water -water -water.

We came home (AJ and I) and did our cardio and weights.  Decided today we will do cardio.  Along with cardio on Sunday.  Monday we meet Josh at the gym for cardio and weights.  Cardio on our own time.  So glad we got to doing our cardio/weights on Friday.  Was concerned with the drive we wouldn't get to it. Felt so much better afterwards.  We also, as it was Poon Day (aka cheat day) went to DQ.  Yup - burger/fries and a blizzard.

Back on track today - eggs/sausage for breakfast.  As it's Saturday, hot chocolate and marshmallows day.  Soup and bagel (low carb) for lunch.  Roasted Cabbage and chicken for dinner.  Dessert is jello/donut.    My 3 are - marshmallows, bagel, donut.

I have a new treat plan too.  Meringues.  Egg white (unlimited and allowed, not a snack) and sugar free jello (unlimited and allowed, not a snack) whip whites add a bit of jello and bake.

Next - going to try: bit of protein powder, mixed with almond milk (bit), and a bit of frozen lemon curd jam - mix together.  Like a pudding.  Original recipe had fruit instead of jam but fruit is too much carb/sugar for me.

Ah, feel better today then yesterday.  😺

Ramble Day

Not much happening.  Working on the water - boy, that's a lot of water....

Doing my exercises, which is causing me to be hungrier.  Side effect.  Sigh. Today is weigh in day too.  Not really looking forward to it.  I think I'm down a bit, but really would love to get below 200 lbs SOON!  Though last nights mega snacks will not help.  Not giving up though.

Noticed with some people doing exercises and posting, that they basically weigh similar but are mega smaller!  That really is my goal.  To be slimmer, fit, and firm.  Will just keep working at it.  Josh says he will get me down in size by June.  I am willing to work hard at it - at least the exercising part.  The eating / weight, that's trickier for me to leave.  Because of needing to go to physio, I noticed they had an acupuncturist who is offering 15 mins free.  Thought I'd try it, for my shoulder/back and also for weight.  Don't know how long I can do it as needles make me nervous.  I'm fine for a bit, and all of a sudden I can't do acupuncture anymore, freaks me out.

Still having trouble sleeping on my sides because of the shoulder/back pain. Getting better though.  Now it's mostly in my left arm and back/shoulder.  Keep having to remember to pull shoulders back and not lean forward.

So glad we didn't get much snow here like some places got.  Did have to shovel or more like scrap the deck off.  Hopefully the forcasted snows will not appear.

Not much else to report.  Ta.

Life in Pictures

Actually, Life in Photographs as Charles (my friend who died a while ago) would say.  They are photos not pictures!

Remember I started this journey on November 7, 2016 when I went to RH.  Well, this was me.

And then, coming home, I started Dr Poon on November 15, 2016 -





I know, not much of a difference between the Nov 7 and Nov 15 / 2016.

Then I continued on with Dr Poon.  And eventually started with Josh, the exercise trainer on March 1, 2017.

I think there's some difference between November 15, 2016 and March 1, 2017. I know it's not much, but I'm getting there. I look forward to when I post me at my dream weight/size!

I went to physio yesterday morning.  Not myofasical pain, thank goodness - muscle strain.  Kyle worked on my back/shoulders and said no forward leaning where the centre of gravity is in front as it pulls on my back/muscles.  It's the weakness in the upper back that is causing me pain - once I get strength in that, it will be much better. As my mother would say when I was a child - Do I need to put a 2x4 in your back? - Stand up straight!.

Went and did cardio today.  Since we aren't going to Dr Poon due to snowstorm - I mentioned to AJ lets just go and do cardio again instead.  Something to do, and it's just cardio.  Besides I need to work off all that munching on the weekend! Trying to drink more water this week too as it will help flush out the weight (apparently).  There is this 10 day water diet, 5 steps:

1.  when you wake - drink 8oz cool water

2.  1 hr before breakfast - drink 8oz water

3.  after every cup of coffee - drink 3.5 to 8oz water

4.  20 mins before meals (I'm guessing not an extra before breakfast as it's already listed) - 8 to 16oz water

5.  2 hrs before bed - 10 to 20oz water

That's a lot of water.  Humm.  I don't have 10 days until Friday.  But I will try to do the rest of the week on it.  Might keep me full and not munchy too.  And yes, you will pee a hell of a lot!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Hot Chick

Apparently people are starting to notice me.  Not that they have really said anything to me - except Patty who is in charge of the doggy day care.  She asked last week if I was losing weight, as it looked like I did.  'You have lost a ton of weight.'  Well, not a TON, and I didn't 'lose' it, I got rid of it.  Told her yes, I have been working on it, and no it's not because of trauma issues going on in my life.

Then there was the woman from the photography group who commented to AJ about me losing weight / noticing it.

At the gym the other day, when I was waiting for Josh, a woman we know came in, talked a while with her.  We would go to dances with the group she is in.  We don't really go dancing anymore, as ... well, I guess because we just don't feel like it.  Though they do have a comedy night coming up May 26th, AJ's birthday is May 30th, so we decided to go.  The group isn't going.  But, the point was - she saw me, and told Iain about me.  Now AJ offers a Chat group on Disability once a month, and Iain is his co-helper.  (on a side note again:  for a community that has a lot of disabled, older people, they suck at coming out to this group - AJ thinks he will give it up in June as it's just not coming together).   Iain hasn't been showing up, or picking AJ up for it for the last 2 months.  Usually AJ calls him to remind him of the meeting and see about a pick up.  Well, last night Iain called AJ and said he heard AJ was involved with a hot chick!  The woman from the gym told him.  Iain also said he'd come pick up AJ for the meeting which just happens to be this Thursday.  Hummm, I wonder if I'm going to be checked out.

People have made comments to AJ about me / my weight loss, not really to me about it.  I think .... that's ok.  I understand the sensitivity of it, and I don't think I want to be commented or questioned about it.  It's nice to know they are noticing, but in the same breath it's not making me feel all that thrilled - which is funny to me.  Before I use to want the attention and notices.  Now, I just want the weight loss and firm body, without a lot of comments.  I don't mind the comments, just don't focus on them with me.  How weird is that?

It does put a bit of pressure on me to continue.  Especially since the last few days I've been eating like there's no tomorrow.  I even ended up crying on the floor because I just didn't want to eat, and I wanted food.  AJ got himself down on the floor (remember he is disabled, and on the floor is not a place for him) and hugged me until I stopped crying.  I don't know if the eating has to do with all the pain I'm in, or because it's 'that time of the month'.  I don't have confirmation anymore because of the hysterectomy, but I still have my ovaries so I get 'that time of the month' symptoms.  Today I'm starting to rein it in - the eating, I feel better even though the pain continues.  We were to go this morning for cardio, might do it later.  AJ keeps saying to take the day off.  It's weights at home day - probably will do them at least.  I don't want to stop - especially since I ate so much.

I changed my Poon appointment from Tuesday to Friday.  Really because of a possible snowstorm coming in on Tuesday and Friday is the next possible time for us to get down to Poons.  I would have gone and weighed in on Tuesday, but driving in a storm, and pain..... better to ease up on that.  Either way, I still need to continue on my goals.

I think, since this shoulder blade pain has not stopped, that I might have myofascial pain.  Which means it might be a while until it stops hurting.  I had myofascial pain in my other shoulder/arm when I worked - it took weeks for the pain to LESSEN.  Working on the computer really doesn't help it.  I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 740am (ugh, on top of that the time change adjustment) with the physio.  Kyle is a different physiotherapist that I have gone to - problem is, he costs.  The physio we were going to was under coverage, but that physiotherapist really didn't do much to help me.  He was to have me ready for exercising - which I personally kept telling him, and he just kept not doing much for it!  I know Kyle will be a better help - we've been to him before.

Quickie on the RTT - was good and insightful.  Have a copy to listen to for the next 21 days on affirmations about money for me.  Did feel a shift within me when I was there.  I do feel calmer about money.  Glad I went.  Think in a month or so I will go about my weight / food - just to clear up some lingering beliefs and concerns I have.

This hot chick is coming out of her shell....... 😇

Owwie

Those pants I almost missed, and the red pair too....gone.  I couldn't take it, they both were falling/sliding down on me.  The red pair had a bit of a smaller waist, but in the end, too big too.  Into the bag for the shelter they went.  I decided instead of giving them to my sister, as I have always done with my clothes (sis goes up and down in weight too) it would be better and more helpful to share them with those that do need clothes.  My sister is $ better off then me, so really, she needs my clothes?  I don't mean that in a b*tchy way - I love my sister, even if I don't see her that often.  Besides, she at least notices my weight loss!  ha ha ha.

Things in the gym with Josh are going well - if only I wouldn't push myself so much on my own!  I was doing cardio on Monday, and really pushed into the interval on the optical/stepper.  I held on too tightly and did something to my left shoulder/blade/back of arm.  So much so that I can't sleep.  I'm continuously in some sort of pain.  Funny thing is, I can move my arm.  Josh came for Wednesday's work out, and I told him about it.  He insists on knowing of any pain or injury or uncomfortable we have.  He worked on my shoulder/blade and I could do all the movements.  Even doing the weights, except the push one arm one, I could do.  If I pull my back blades together it feels ok, but when I pull/ lean forward or sleep with it pulling down I'm in pain.  I tend to sleep on my sides - that hurts it, but on my back it doesn't, tho I don't really sleep.  Have been icing, now using heat - that seems to help.

My butt is sore again too.  AJ had to rub it.  Ha ha.  My hips are sore, my arms are sore.  Apparently AJ is fine - I'm telling Josh that he has to work AJ harder!

Last night I couldn't sleep (pain) and I was HUNGRY.  At 230am I got up, ate a chicken breast... prompting Jax and Moonbeam out of a sleep and come running. Then a protein bar.  Back to bed about 430am.  Woke and I was still so hungry, that I walked Jax asap, and had breakfast even before showering.  Had a coffee with protein shake, and a cinn/flax bagel with butter and jam.  Basically ate most of my macros today already.  I'm not so hungry anymore.

It's been snowing all day off and on.  I was out at 230am shoveling the deck off. Figured I'd better not shovel the driveway at that time in the morning.  And since this morning I was focused on breakfast I didn't go out either..... it's warmed up and the driveway is basically melted. YES!  Problem is the snow on the car doesn't seem to be melting, which means I will need to brush it off / shovel it down before leaving for my appointment this evening.  Going to do that Rapid Transformational Therapy hypnosis.  Looking forward to that, hope it will help with the $$$.

I do get it.  Money is not the be all and end all.  It's just I find I'm having an issue with my beliefs about money.  Like there's never enough etc.  I can't have what I want etc.  We don't live 'rich', and I'm not one that spends money on trinkets.  It's just, there never seems to be enough for the basics (food).  That tells me, I'm spending too much on the basics and I need to stop - to live within my (our) financial means.  Which .... I don't do, and I'm p*ssed off with it, just like I was (am) about my weight and I know I need to do something to change it.  Just stopping isn't working, so I'm taking another approach to it.

Now, is it lunchtime yet?  Oh, that shoulder hurts......

Almost Missed....

Years ago, before we moved here, I had some clothes.  (I know, good thing eh) As I 'grew', I tossed out a lot of those clothes, except a few I really liked.  The other day, I found 2 pair of pants that I had kept, hiding behind the pants I'm working to get into.  The ones in the photo taken a while ago.

For some reason, when I pulled out those other pants, and took the photo, I didn't register the other two pairs.  Well.  I checked last night and today, I just made it in them.  As it, they are too big!!!  They can be put on without undoing the zipper or buttons.  I'm walking around today in a pair, and I keep having to pull them up.  I could have been wearing them for a few months now, and I never thought of them because I continued to think I was too big - because the other goal pants are too small, heck, I'd better try them on again too asap.  So now, I have to find all the smaller clothes I squirreled away and see what does fit.

I guess because I wear a lot of stretchy pants I just don't realize that I'm smaller. There's a NSV for me.  (NSV means non scale victory)

Actually, I have another bigger NSV.  I can get out of the tub without help. Though the other night I could have used AJ because I thought I was going to drop.  Told AJ after that, he can never be too far, and needs to listen for me if I'm in the tub.  I think what happened was the water was very hot/warm, and when I stood up, my blood pressure dropped.  I got out, sat on the toilet and was sweat dripping.  Eventually I was better, and checked my blood pressure - 121/80. Which was perfect.

Josh has come up and sent us out work out plans/goals.  Have been doing them. Got up yesterday morning and into the gym for cardio at 7am. It was only a cardio day, so it was easy.  Day before was up and at the gym for 6am as we went to my mother's.  Still hasn't noticed any of my weight loss....  Then when we got home, did the weight training.  Today is a day off.  Went and got groceries.

Yesterday, went for a healing session, and was talking with Suzanne saying I felt I needed something else.  Going to see two people that I found and feel drawn too.  One does Biophoton Light Therapy.  Want to do that one for my shoulder pains etc.  Physical issues.  The other does Rapid Transformational Therapy  - want to do that one on issues/beliefs I have about money.  There needs to be a shift in how I perceive money and spending.

Keep missing the water mark.  Getting better at drinking more water, but still need to improve it.  My macros etc are going well.  Really is helping inputting them into MFP.  Starting now to do the next day plan so that I know I have enough, haven't gone over my macro goals.  Mom day was a bit over, but that's life.

Calories....

I forgot.  Guess I was tired.  When I was writing the other day, I mentioned about the calories being around 1300, and Josh thinking 1200 if I can, that I don't totally believe in calorie counting.  I am using the calories more for the macros counts then the calories themselves.  I'd like to decrease the amount of foods I'm eating just on a general basis of wanting to eat less because I weigh less idea. For that I'm ok in seeing what my calories are on a daily basis, see how I feel over a week in general with those amounts of calories - 12/1300 etc.

Most importantly, am I feeling full and satisfied.

If not, then I will up the calories, see what the macros would be by increasing them just a bit to the point that I'm happy with my foods.  I know it is important that I eat regularly, that I eat healthy good foods, and that having refeed days are helpful - especially to not have a binge that I will never get back from.  That one binge I had a while ago - that was a real binge for me, the next day, I found I wasn't hungry at all, and just didn't want to eat that junk food or chocolates like that.  Since then I have had a chocolate, but again in balance - just one small one. I'm talking low carb chocolate bar.

As it is, tracking the calories etc, inputting them, helps me be OCD. Ha! Actually, it helps me see and figure out what is good, balancing, healthy for me better then Dr Poon's unlimited protein, eat until you're full, 3 snack plan.  That has too many variables for me and I don't do well not being aware of things.  I need to get to a point where tracking becomes so second nature, that I can do it in my head and not have to worry about it.  Like when we go to Boston, I can eat and think / plan my meals just by choice and experience of knowing what I need.

There are a lot of websites that talk of calories being something that you shouldn't watch.  I think that's not completely true either.  I think there is a balance of being aware of the calories that helps.

So, I continue to monitor the calories, but watch the fats/protein and carbs!

Weights and Cardio

Today was the official working out day!  Josh came to the gym, and we both had one hour training with him.  Though personally I think he likes working with AJ as AJ had a stroke and makes training interesting or challenging for Josh.  Sigh, but ok.  Took an hour for AJ but only about 40 mins for me.  Onward!

The weights were just right for me, not too painful - which is so important, otherwise I'm stuck not able to do them.  Josh has a plan for us at home and at the gym.  I did my interval cardio while AJ was with Josh.  I think I sweated more at doing that then at the weights.  AJ and I decided that Sunday / Wednesday and Friday would be cardio and weights day with Sunday doing weights at home.  Sunday/Monday/Wednesday and Friday are cardio days with intervals.  This way we can switch Sunday and Monday if need be.  Like this Sunday we are going to see my mother, and if we can't get to the weights, we can just do cardio Sunday and do weights and cardio Monday.

Macro wise, Josh came up with:
on Regular Days (Tuesday/Thursday and Saturday)
Protein - 125-130 grams
Fat - 65-70 grams
Carbs - 45-50 (net)
Calories - 1300

on Training days
Protein - 130 grams
Fat - 60-65 grams
Carbs - 55-60 (net)
Calories - 1350

And if I can get to around 1200 calories it would be good.  Also, I'm allowed on Poon days, after weigh in, to continue with my lunches as I desire.  Kinda a refeed day.  Just no binges.  I feel better being able to have some much better understanding in total.

I have input my meals/food into My Fitness Pal, and able to choose in the listed ranges.  While keeping my 'snacks' down per Dr Poon.

Today being training day, my foods have been (will be for dinner and snacks):
B:
cloud bread - 2
laughing cow garlic - 1
butter/lemon curd jam
almond milk - 1/4 c
coffee / skinny syrup
diesel shake - 1/2 scoop
chicken breast - 3 ounces

S: coffee and stevia (no milk)

L:
Flax/Walnut/Cinn bagel
apricot jam/ butter/ lemon curd jam
herbal tea / lemon/ stevia
peas - 1/2 cup - this is to help put back the carbs into my muscles.  Josh requested I have a bit more carb after weights / weight day.
jello

D: planning on (though not hungry at the moment - too tired)
tea / lemon / stevia
jello
steak - 4 or 5 ounces
field green lettuce - 1/4 package
renees ceasar dressing - 2 tbsp (I like dressing on my salads)
asparagus - 6 spears

S: (planned)
halva - at this point probably 1/2 of one, though might have a whole
meringues - 5 little ones

AND WATER - which writing of, I'd better drink some now.

It's been very cold out today, and snowing.  Not really shoveling snow, though I did some so AJ could get to the car.  But the cold.... no desire to walk Jax, took him to daycare when we went to the gym.  Cheating! ha ha. 😸

Interestingly, I am emotionally upset, thinking I need to do more.  As in exercise more, eat better..... tomorrow is jammie day Saturday and I currently think I shouldn't be doing that.  That I must do something or else ?  I have no idea or else what - I wont succeed?  Honestly, my foods are good (at least I think so, and they aren't totally junk foods.  The worse thing are those low carb meringues.) My body needs to recover from exercising - even Josh says to have a rest day between weights, so my exercising is good.  I think I'm just stressing on myself and too much coffee for me.  Maybe.  Maybe my muscles are sore and I'm shaky inside because of it, and I'm thinking it's emotional stress.  I think I will go clean the tub (yes, I do clean the tub regularly, but this is specific), have a sauna then have an espom salt bath.  Both of those will help my muscles, my body, my emotions.  I don't think dinner will be as planned.

Poon and Trainer

Things worked out well.

With Dr Poon, he didn't yell at me (bonus) and looked at my food journal.  He told me too many snacks and explained I could have 2 Phase 2 snacks, and 1 Phase 1 snack per day.   Things like cottage cheese and a flax bagel are 2 Phase 2's.  Then having a donut also in that meal - again Phase 2 was all too much.  I could have all my snacks together, but not more then the '3'.  It was helpful the way he explained it.  Made more sense.  More protein and green veg, less snacks!  ha ha.

Josh came over yesterday and things went well.  I asked if he could send me his idea of macros for me, he will do that for Friday.  We all (Josh, AJ and me) went thru a full weight/strengthening (w/s) routine.  He wanted to make sure on what I and what AJ could do.  Then we went to the gym here to see what we are to do there. Goal is 3 times a week of w/s, and 4 times cardio a week. Best to do cardio in the morning before breakfast, just on a cup of coffee.  Coffee helps make the cardio better.  We are to do one w/s at home per week, and 2 in the gym.  My walking Jax doesn't count for cardio.  In cardio 20-30 mins of either bike or elliptical with 6-8 30 second bursts.  I'm happy with this goal.  Josh says as we increase the sets of w/s by the end of March I will see a change in my body. Hope so.

I input yesterday's foods into My Fitness Pal.  Was at 1406 cal.  Carbs continue to be at 70 g.  Tho fiber was 42 - so that gave me 28 net carbs.  Bit over, should be 25.  But again, much better.  Between Dr Poon explaining the foods again, and me inputting in MFP, I'm having more success at feeling like I know what I'm doing.  Even though I went over my goals, I feel I did well.  AND that doesn't count my exercise program which apparently gives me more food counts.

Oh, my weigh in.  Down 1.5 pounds.  Half fat and half water.  Dr Poon looked at my tracking chart, showed it to me - shows I'm continuing on downward.  Slowly, but still down.  I think that's a reason he wasn't too hard on me.  He does expect about 3 to 4 pounds in the next weigh in.  AHH.  I hope that will happen! I know I wrote in my last post I was semi-unwilling to stop the foods, but now I feel better as to the snack errors and understanding the foods, I'm more willing to plan my snacks/foods better.  I did binge on that Tuesday after we left (AJ comes with me to Poons).  Had a bacon cheeseburger and fries - my own fries, not a few from AJ's.  Not beating myself up over it, just continuing on and knowing my goals better.  Happy about that!  😄