Ending 2019

The ending of another year.  Many blessings came - and many more will come in 2020.  

I think, at this point I am going to stop posting this blog.  I've been slowing with it, and really not sure anymore what to write about.  And as promised, I am letting anyone reading this still - which I don't think there is anyone - know I'm stopping.  

I know that 2020 will bring so many joyous changes and blessings for me.  Like $$$$$ and moving, great health, happiness, joyous continued marriage, healthy pets/hubby too!  There will be blessings of spiritual growth and insights for me too.  I'm looking forward to them.

Wishing all who read this to also have blessings and healings in your life too.

Thank you to all.

Many hugs.

Ta

 Happy New Year!

Almost Time

Almost Christmas time.  Next week.  I have gotten all the presents for hubby and pets, planned what we are going to eat, bought some of it.  It's going to be a quiet time.  We aren't going anywhere.

Sis said she wasn't wanting family Christmas, and I said we aren't coming down as we didn't know the weather, and to drive 2 hours both ways for dinner - in the dark, not for me.  Sis is having family Christmas now.  Haven't talked to her in months.  She's very busy with her card making business.

I have been feeling better.  Glad about that.  I went to see the docs.  Dr B changed the thyroid med to 105mg from 120mg.  Dr G tho..... ugh.  He basically said he didn't believe me about my blood pressure as when he took it, it was fine - so I don't need to change my med.  So nothing was done about that.  Or about my chest pain.

So I went to see Dr Steve today and talked to him about my chest pain and blood pressure.  He did his testing and found out it was related to my adrenals.  He said that it should bring down my blood pressure and stop my chest pains.  I look forward to this!  I hope it will work.  I appreciate all his willingness to help.  He suggested a change with the adrenal pills I use.

Mood wise, Christmas is almost here and over so that will help.

Not much snow here - we had a bit yesterday, neighbour shoveled this morning.  Great!!!  Not that it really needed it, it will melt by the weekend.

I'm sliding thru Christmas with foods.  Not going to overly control it, and lower the Saxenda to 1.8mg instead of 1.8mg plus 5 clicks.  I will try again after the holidays.

Ta

December Sunday

Was a nice day today - went to visit mom.  She talks about moving to Amica housing.  I would LOVE it if she did move there.  Then she would sell the house and neither my sis or me would have to clean and sell her house.  I'd rather her do it.  

Not going to visit her or family for Christmas so this visit was our Christmas visit to her.  Went well.

I have been feeling a bit better lately. Glad about that.  Going tomorrow to see Dr Steve and Dr Bob.  Jax gets to go to daycare - he will love it.  Needs to go play.  Lilly (Sue's dog) is gone - as in they moved away.  I will miss having coffee with Sue.  She says they will come down once in a while as she wants Lilly to still go to TWR - best place around.  Her hubby still works Mondays here so they can come on that day.  Will see how that goes.  They are suppose to come next Monday - depends on weather.  Everything depends on weather at the moment!

Our friend from the old place, who's wife died this year, is moving too.  He's actually at the moment moving closer.  He says he will come visit us next year.  That will be nice.  He's leasing a place close to his brother.  If it doesn't work out, he will want to move to BC.  He has friends there.

I get to go to Dr B this week too.  She's the one that put me on Saxenda.  And deals with my thyroid meds.  I think she will adjust my thyroid med.  I don't think she will stop the Saxenda.  I haven't lost any more weight with it at the moment.  But then, I haven't been controlling my foods that well - between depression/down, inflamed reactions, and being so tired, I just wasn't able to do it.  BUT I haven't gained weight either and that thrills me.

I see Dr G for my blood pressure, which I think makes me tired, and is not controlling my pressure that well for a while now.  Between Dr G and Dr B adjusting meds I am hoping I will start feeling better and more up, or at least more energy.  Maybe even I can get on the stationary bike for 15 mins a day..... there's a goal.  

I continue to listen to Abraham.  And read both Abraham and Neville facebook pages.  Still find it helps.  I really notice that I look at things differently, and try to deal with things differently.  

I'm off to eat an apple.

Ta!

December Funk

I'm in a funk today.  Great way to start the beginning of the month.  Sigh.

I've been struggling with high blood pressure and the meds aren't bringing it down enough.  So I saw my NP - who I do like - and she gave me some new ones, that caused major back pain.  So now I need to call her tomorrow and ask her to give me some other ones.  I do see the specialist on Friday this week but I don't want to wait that long (6 days),  And I'm flaring a bit too - so that means a Methox injection.

I saw Dr Steve a few weeks ago and told him I suspected Epstein Barr Virus is active in me, he tested and I was right.  He gave me some homeopathic meds for it.  Still on it.

Then I decided to Dr Bob for chiropractic treatments.  I do like his treatments - he even adjusted my feet, so helpful.  His one thing tho is that he is very focused on HEALTH.  Health is number one to him.  So he does everything to keep himself healthy, and - I suspect - wants his clients to do what needs to be done to be healthy for them too.  In other words, as we talked, he explained that I needed to only eat those foods that were good and healing for my body, and to exercise etc.

Duh, yeah.  I've had 50 f*king years of trying to do this.  You seriously think you telling me this is going to change because you said so?  I was pleasant to him.  Been on that road before with doctors and know the speech/what to say.

As I drove home I thought about it. I realized the feeling of disappointment, expectations of others, and failure.  Knew I need to deal with this.  Just not sure how.

Yesterday I happened to go to Dianne's open house.  She has the Music store, that also sells gem stones, and she does healing.  I looked at her and boom - heard to ask her for a healing treatment on it.  I had kept thinking of Keegan and Tracey but neither felt right.  Going to see her on Wednesday.

This morning I was doing my meditating and thinking on it.  I floated into the thought about how it just has been from the beginning of my life.  ...... How even my mother has mentioned that my father would get angry if she would go and feed me.  Suddenly it dawned on me.

Mother comes home with a baby.  Baby cries, wanting to be fed and probably scared/ unsure of where she is.  Father becomes angry, jealous, envious and controlling of mother who wants to go feed the baby.  Father tells mother not to do it - he wants sex now and the baby can cry herself to sleep.  Father wants the attention.  Baby is left alone in a dark room, hungry, lonely, feeling unwanted/unloved, scared and wishing not to be around.  Baby wants attention too - that doesn't come for hours.

By the law of attraction belief - the baby has created her own feelings that she continues to call to her.  She doesn't want to be hungry - so she calls hunger to her.  She feels lonely, unwanted, unloved - so that continues to show up.  She wants attention, she wants food - so she eats and eats and gets lots of negative attention/focus of size and weight that comes to her.

Then there is another aspect of disappointment/failure/expectations that falls a bit into it too.  The feeling of not meeting the expectations of others leads to failure and such self disappointment.  Always trying to measure up - to have worth.  To do what others say to do.  Which in the end never works because the belief in others isn't the answer.  The answer is to align and focus on the connection with higher self - because that is where the answers are that are perfect and right for that person / for me.

Dr Bob can say drink smoothies for breakfast, Dr Steve can say eat fruit for breakfast, WW can say count your points for breakfast, low carb can say eat eggs and veggies for breakfast - no matter which I do it won't be right if I don't align with my higher self - who gives me the feeling of joy at eating apples and barley for breakfast.  Trying to please and do what someone else says - just ends up me running around in circles.  

It's just, I'm a bit lost as to believing I know the answers for myself.  That I can actually follow what I am lead to do and believe it is right.

I need to change those stories above.  I need to listen to my higher self and trust me.  I need to ...... I'm in a funk working this out.

I know I will make it thru this - I'm just praying and believing it will move me forward and that I won't have to go thru these repeated and repeated and repeated laws/lessons again!!
   

Neville

I came across another person while looking at Abraham Hicks FB site.  

Neville Goddard

He was famous in 1930s.  Basically talks similar to Abraham Hicks information.  What I like about his talking is that he talks not only of NOW, but after NOW.  So if one is wanting a job, not only do you think on the job, but also seeing you doing the job you want.  And best time is just before you fall asleep.  He does use the Bible, but I'm ok with that.

I haven't been following any good food eating plans.  Just eating mostly everything.  Less of it, but still.  And... thankfully because of the Saxenda I haven't gained weight.  Lost about 2 pounds this month.  Still love Saxenda.  Just need to focus on my weight goal.  Not sure why I don't.

Going to see Tracey and Keegan this week.  Going to see about healing - being here, success and follow thru, and self worth.  Hopefully some of that will trigger me into change - change that I can focus on.

Jax is still doing well.

I have been flaring lately.  Probably cuz of the foods.  Have blood work to do next week, so I want to wait a bit before taking another Methoxrate injection.

AJ will be off for a Board meeting next week, so I have one night alone. Hopefully the weather will be good for him.

All updated for now!

Ta

November

October flew by.  

Now the November cold and rains have come.  Apparently snow is coming soon too.  I believe I have everything ready for winter.  We had a strong windstorm a few nights ago, and my tarps held.  YEAH!

I'm still using Saxenda and enjoying it.  I haven't been eating as well as I would like - especially with Halloween chocolates, but I have come down a bit more.  I actually got my 5lbs charm from WW.  I had to first lose those 11 lbs I gained and then the 5 lbs.  I'm happy about it tho.  I can eat normal foods and still let the weight go down.  I am aiming to do better this month.

I also have been having some energy work done.  Seeing Tracey and that has helped.  Have an appointment with Keegan this week.  Will see about that one.  And at church today was talking with Georgia, she does hypnosis and has a new treatment that changes past patterns into the future.  Will see her next week.  Tracey mentioned that she thought I was a mystic.  !!!!!  That was surprising.  Will talk with Keegan about that as he apparently is a mystic, per Tracey.  

Jax is doing so much better.  I am so happy about that.  He is finally jumping up onto the couch - hadn't done that since January / February.  He chases the twins, runs around and is always so excited to go to daycare.  Yeah, the twins aren't overly thrilled.  Milo is pretty good playing with Jax.  He curls his tail around him and runs with him, but Starr is a bit afraid and leery.  I try to keep him from stopping Starr from coming up the stairs.  His favorite game - trying to stop the twins from coming up the stairs.  Princess does not play this game and claws him to let him know!  Starr just kinda waits, or jumps to the side.

Starr is so cuddly now.  He will come up and sit beside me to get some head scratches.  Will let me pick him up as long as he's not walking around.  Milo is still a cuddlier.   

Til later!

Vote

Tomorrow is voting day.  And yes, I will be voting.  Always have.

I've been still taking Saxenda.  Really like it.  At least I'm not gaining.  I've been emotionally eating and struggling with that.  But, as I go to VV still too, I have been down every week, except one where I was up POINT 6.  Mostly down 1 to 1.5 per week.  I've been eating a lot of chocolate lately.  Not really sure why.  Not that I'm super craving them.  Just keep doing it.  I do know I have been down a bit lately.  Wonder if its the change in the weather.  Not out as much anymore.  

Have some more gardening to do, probably tomorrow.  I have closed up the deck by the kitchen door so that snow will not get right up to it - hopefully!  I think I still need to put another wood over the cover as it does blow out a bit.  Last year I used staples.... this year I used wood and screws.  Really didn't want to put screws into the wood, but was about the only choice.  IF we are still here next year, will need to really look at what to do that's better.  IF we are here still next year, I think we will stay for a few years.

This desire and looking for another home is slow.  The biggest issue is just the $$$$$$.  We are sure about the moving, even if we don't exactly know where, but the money..... that is what is holding us up.  Won $32 this week on lotto tickets. Had just 3 tickets.

Jax is doing really well.  His back and legs are better.  Took him to daycare and he was fine.  So glad about that.  He's going again on Tuesday - going to have coffee with Sue.  Lilly's mom - met via TWR.  Both dogs go there.  They are moving next month.  They got a new home in Freelton.  She says she's still going to be coming here to drop Lilly off once a week or so as her hubby still works here.  They are moving closer to the grandkids.  Do enjoy her visits, will miss the ease of getting together.

Still following and listening to Abraham Hicks.  And going to the Spiritualist church.  Enjoying both still.

Health wise - not too much pain lately.  Off and on, but manageable.  Nausea from the Sax is a bit of a challenge, but keep taking antacids.  

That's about it  Isn't this a beautiful bird?  I think so!

Up And Down

I'm back, for the moment.  I don't know if I will keep blogging as I think I don't have much to say anymore.  Most things are just basically the same. But then, occasionally I do like to ramble.... so I guess it will be a hit and miss kinda blog now.

I continue on Saxenda.  Uped to 2.4mg but just couldn't do that, too many bruises, feeling nauseated etc.  I am currently back down to 1.8mg with 5 clicks.  Depression or being down continues to drive me to eating.  I'm not sure why today I'm down.  But I do notice I have to control the eating more.

My friend came to visit yesterday (Talia).  She stayed overnight.  It was nice to visit with her.  Enjoyed having face time with her.  AJ is gone to BC for a few days, then Toronto.  He will be back in 3 days.  I basically have had a week of being alone.

Jax continues to have issues.  Think tomorrow I need to bring him to the vet to see about acupuncture.  He still goes to Dr Steve for lasering.  Vet does acupuncture.  I think his knee is off.  Sigh.

We went to that anniversary dinner - stayed overnight.  Jax watched us pack.  I think that stressed him.  In boarding he started to vomit.  Then had bloody diarrhea.  We came back earlier the next day.  Took him to the vet the next morning.  Had an episode of gastro intestine  issues brought on by anxiety and stress.  Talked to the holistic/acupuncture vet and got a calming collar for him.  Dr Steve gave me some Rescue Remedy to give him.  We are going away in October to visit our friend from the old place - his wife died.  

The twins, and Princess are doing well.  The twins are finally settling in well.  I can pat them and mostly pick them up.  So glad about that.

Oh my weight - I've been still going to WW and with Saxenda have lost the 11 pounds I gained from when I started WW.  So now I can start on going down from there.  Wonder how today's cookies (Talia brought me Girl Guide cookies - box) will do.  I'm just so tired.
Cleaned the house top to bottom yesterday before she got here, as she is allergic to cats.  Took me 6 hours to polish this place.  At least the house is still super clean!

I did get into the shed a few days ago too, cleaned that out too.  I do need to cut the grass, but don't see that happening today. 

AJ and I will celebrate 10 yrs married next week.  We haven't figured out what to do.  We might go look at St Catherines and Thorold.  We still want to check those places out to see if we would want to move there. After those to places I think we will finally have wandered around enough.  Still waiting for those million $$$$$$$$$$$.

I got another tattoo.  It's a cherry blossom circle.  Don't have a photo of it yet.

Up to date now.  Just a few postings of course.... - 

Hold It Down

I've been on Saxenda for almost a month now.  Started at 0.6, up to 1.2 and now on 1.8.  I've upped slower then one is suppose to.  But then.... puking is a side effect.  Oh, I got that today.  I had 1/2 c of noodles, and 1, just ONE cookie, and herbal tea.  Upped and out of my mouth 2 times in 4 hours.  Chills, nausea, and oh, so sick.

And yes, I will stay on it.  I have finally started to lose weight.  Not much or fast - only about 5 pounds.  But it is working.  I am eating a lot less, and I feel fuller, and I can stop eating much easier.  It's worth it.  I can be on this for the rest of my life if it keeps my food in control.  

I did do the first few shots at night, but started the 1.8 in the morning as apparently it peaks in 12 hours.  This way dinner would be more controllable.  I think I might have to go back to night, so I can sleep thru the worse of it.  Surprisingly that reaction has been the major and worse I've had.

Oneward -

The trip to the States is fine.  Found a spandexy type pants - white with line pattern  I loved it when I put it on.  And it was only 3 dollars.  Went back the next morning and got the leopard 3 dollar pants too.  Bought chocolates too - ate them all.  Delicious.

Jax is doing well overall.  Still going to Dr Steve for laser.  He's had a few 'sore' times.  Especially after being at the dog centre overnight.  And once from the dog park.  But it's just something that we have to watch and be on top of.  Currently he's very bored as we haven't done anything for 3 days.  He is desperate to play.  Maybe tomorrow if the weather is ok, (rain tonight) I will take him to the park for a change.

September is going to be a busy month.  AJ is off to BC in a few weeks and a meeting in Toronto.  Don't know what I'm going to do for a whole week without him.

We looked at a few more towns.  Welland, Fort Erie, Port Dover, Port Colbourne, Port Rowan.  Port Rowan felt awful - couldn't get out of there fast enough.  The energy was ugh for me.  Port Dover - loved it, a California Sunny Hippie Town.  It was delightful.  But not a town for us to live in.  Welland was, is a possible.  Other ones weren't it.  We want to look at St Catharines and Thorold.  We are happy here and without the money to move we are content to stay.  As Abe says though, focus on what you want, not what you don't want.  Do moving we will go!!!

Not much more.

Who's that Man?

Went to WW the other day as I was near it.  Thought I'd better go and weigh in.  I was down 2 pounds.  Yeah!  Maybe the injections are starting to work.  I am good with the injections at the moment.  Going up a dose tomorrow.  I find that by 4pm I am hungry, but I don't over eat at dinner.  Still have the evening munchies.  Getting better.

I won $100.  Did I mention that already?  Used it to pay for a private session with Rhys.  He was the teacher of that mediumship course I went on last Saturday.

The course was good.  I did pick up a few ideas and thoughts.

Awhile ago we went to the church's physic fair and the woman said to me that there was a man that I knew years ago/ childhood that I would meet again.  Uh...ok....

So then last month we booked to see her privately.  She mentioned that man was still coming.  Uh....ok.....

So with my session with Rhys,....yup.... there is a man coming in 6 weeks or 6 months that will be romantic.  I said, no.  I am aware that I love AJ, and that I am clear on that.  But it is nice to know someone else might love me... or at least like me a lot.  Yes, I am intrigued as to who he is, when he will show up.  

In the meantime....I'm in love with my husband.  

We are getting ready for our trip to the States.  We decided to just stay close to the boarder.  Don't want to go too far into the States.

Jax got groomed today.  He looks so cute!

Oh, back to Rhys... he said that yes, I was a medium.  I knew things.  Yeah.  And that I should continue to mediate and just follow my gut.  I'm thinking maybe one day to go to Lilydale.  Will see.  In the meantime of that, I will continue to do better at mediating - and maybe one day not fall asleep doing it.

We are, I am, starting to think i have no desire to move to London.  I don't mind going, and we do a lot there, but when I listen to the issues..... I'd rather stay here.  When that $$$$$$ comes in, either buy a house around here, or fix this one up more.  Put on a sunroom, update the kitchen and bathroom.  

About it!

Saxenda

I've been thinking I should post something.  Honestly not much has been happening that is really new.  Life is just booting along happily.  Things are going well overall.

D got approved to go to the army.  He's a bit nervous.  Mom and sis are on a semi-talking stand from what I hear.  So that's sorta going well.

Jax is super busy and jumping around like long before.  He's happy going to Tail Waggin.  He doesn't get any meds, but still goes monthly to Dr Steve for adjustments.

AJ is back from his trip and planning his BC and Toronto meeting trips in September.  

And me...

I'm happy with still doing Abe listening.  I found a mentor via and Abe facebook.  She does reiki, and is in the States.  I like her.  I get some healing treatments from her.  My choice.  

I have been troubled with my weight.  Since going to weight watchers I'm up 11 pounds. !!!!  Ugh.  I happened to be at the diabetic doctor for my thyroid - which she is happy about.  I mentioned that I had no affects with my thyroid, but noticed that my blood sugars were going up.  This morning was 7.8 before breakfast.  She said that was a bit too high.  I agreed.  I then.... started crying.  I said I couldn't keep going up!  And I couldn't deal with being hungry. 

She offered me injections.  I cried.  She said I had to eat less.  I said I couldn't deal with the hunger issue.  She offered the injections again.

I asked her to bring it in.  She explained about Saxenda.  And I immediately shot myself with it.  I said I guess I'm in for doing it.  I'm willing.  I'm hoping.  I just can't seem to get the Abe thought of aligning with foods to work that well.  

I did eat less today, but I can see that the starting injection is not where I will be able to stay as I can feel the hunger just on the edge. I will need to be at a higher injection.  I hope that my insurance will cover most of it.  It's better then the other one available.  Stronger.  I can see it's better to be on the lower carb side of things, but I just want to be able to choice normal foods too with it.  Not do all the crazy diets I've done for years.  I want to eat less of the normal foods, and let the sugars be less.  I'm optimistic.

Need to get out and cut the grass.  But then, that's not new.

We are planning to go to the States.  Need to buy something to wear for September's anniversary dinner that we are going to.  Brother in law/ Sis in law's anniversary.  Going to stay overnight in States, and in September.  Hopefully I can find something that will look nice and fit.  In September we decided to see mom the next day.  Decided to go to the old church and visit a few people there too, since we were close enough to make that time service.

That's about it.  Enjoy!

Almost Alone

AJ took off yesterday for Toronto.  Meeting month.  And this time he's there for two days as they are having a course too.  I slept so well last night!!!!  Look forward to tonight's sleep!
I'm a bit sad about that as I do love sleeping with AJ, and having him around.

Took him to the airport yesterday then brought Jax to see Dr Steve.  Jax is doing so great.  Basically back to normal.  I realized that over the years, if I had known, I could have brought him earlier as I could see way back that he could have used some acupuncture etc.

Yesterday after coming home, I basically just sat and read a book.  The whole book in one shot.  Was easy, and an ok book.  Called 'I'm Fifteen and I don't want to Die'.  

Today I've gotten the vacuuming done, and brought out most of the garbage. Currently along with writing here, I'm listening to The Language of the Divine Matrix.  It's a long youtube.  3 hours.  I'm listening to it in pieces.  Beliefs change our physical world.  There's a lot to it, and I find it interesting.  It's along the Abraham Hicks line.

***********
I posted in AH a question.  But it seems my question is just too much.  

Question. I understand that it is feelings not the thought or words that create... So how does one change an immediate feeling to better? Eg. I see a post of a dog dying in this heat. I sense my inner feelings are amongst poor dog, un-nice thought of person/people, sad, un-nice feeling of anger, and healing peace to all involved. I totally get sometimes someone does something that doesn't end well and they are sad.
But I'm looking at myself with the feelings that are not immediately healing or peaceful. Then I read the next post that says the Vortex aligns with feeling not words. Ugh!!! I AM wanting to feel peace in those times not oh you un-nice people.
I do move on and let it go, but I'm looking for a way to change the feeling in the first place. Understand? 🤪🙄🤔🤗🥰

one answer - 

Interesting. I think of myself as a naturally negative person.

I was raised with negative thoughts. My older brothers are masters of snarky remarks.

Those darn negative thoughts pop like corn into my head and drag me down.

Once I notice them, I make sure the TV is OFF. Although, at times I do let the Hallmark Channel continue.

I prefer piano music when I’m grouchy. Even light jazz is too up beat.

And, I make sure I have shoes on. Not slippers, not flip flops. Shoes.

I walk into the bathroom. If I haven’t, I wash my face (or shower) and put on some blush, eyeshadow and for me eyebrow pencil. With a touch of lip stick.

Leaving the bathroom, I have two choices. Tidy things in the kitchen or bedroom. Which I enjoy doing because by this time my negative thoughts have left and I am happy.

I have paper and pen next to my favorite chair. I often write 5x .... I love salads. .... and it works because 3 weeks ago I did not.

I am cutting way back on carbs and eating more fruits and veggies....another challenge. So during another break I write 5x how much I love them.

In the past...I am usually upbeat and happy around others. And yet...some people just set off my negative self. I discovered that too much alcohol the night before was part of that equation. That was a total shock.

Since I am giving up carbs, my alcohol consumption is almost nil. If my friends want to go out for a drink, I will still have one drink and then switch to water.

Various scheduling problems have kept me from consistently taking that 30 minute walk. But I do fit in as many short walks and stairs as I can.

I don’t know if this is on the right topic for this group. But it works for me.

I think it relates to “changing the pattern.”

I wrote back - 

That's great to hear you are doing well. But my question more relates to those fleeting moments of seeing something and having a negative/snarky thought or comment - basically judgement. I'm done with it the next moment. But it makes me wonder as 'it's feelings, not words'. As I may say I know that 'dog is at peace' but the feeling behind it is 'ugh, that person shouldn't have done that'. So... Vortex is listening to the feeling even though I really do want more of the words to be the feeling.

Then I got from someone else -  

It’s so good the hear your looking to your Emotional Guidance System to adjust your vibration.

Perfect place to be!

When you see or think something that does not quite feel right to you, the sooner you catch it the sooner you can pivot off to something else or a thought that feels better.
This is mastering Step 5.

That takes little practice and just your realization that your EGS is where you need to focus on to keep you in alignment is most of the practice, so your off to a great start.

Focusing on feel good things as quickly as you can without returning to the bad feeling condition and thoughts.

So once you know, through this contrast, what you don’t want, focus on what you do want.

Abe tells us that momentum builds behind thoughts we continue to think on any subject, wanted or not, and the LOA will bring us more thoughts or conditions just like it.

If we’ve gone to far into the unwanted zone, feeling bad like disappointment, worry or blame, emotions far down on the Emotional Scale, then you’ll need to work your way back up one step at a time.

And you do that reaching for relief at each step.
Just taking attention off the unwanted and doing things to help you feel and think better:
Walks
Meditation
Playing with your pet or kids
A drive
Music...
Anything to keep your feelings moving to hopeful and satisfaction and just feeling that relief.

Practice practice practice.

You’ll get to a place where most times when Contrast is encountered, you’ll feel happy that your filling your Vortex with more desires to look forward to and stay more in alignment.

I’ve attached the ES for you to use as you move forward.

Also I’ve attached a link to our Unit Section which has processes and tool to assist you on your journey through all this.

Lots of wonderful stuff in there.

And you always have all of us to reach out to for asdistsnce if you need it.

All in this together!!

You’ve got this
and I know your well on your way to a wonderful, happy life.

Great love for you and all of us!

Almost the answer but still.... so I replied - 

Thanks so much for this. It's helpful. I'm asking on quick blips tho. Do those create? As in - I'm looking at fb and see someone's post of a news feed about a dog dying in a car in this heat. My immediate thought and FEELING (hence is this a creation) is one of ugh, why do those people leave their dog in a car, so stupid. Then I move on to saying All animals live and die, be at peace. But that immediate thought or feeling that I have - is that creating more? Because it's what you FEEL not what you say per AH. Is that judgement which I am working at not having, creating more? In the general moments of the day I don't even think on these things and they rarely show .... until I happen to see something, read something, watch something - then that judgement of whatever it is, pops up. And now I wonder if those less aligned immediate thoughts are creating? Which I do not want to create. I strive to keep aware of the feelings, but what I feel and what I say are two different things. I want to FEEL what I say instead in these split second moments. How do I go about that? :)

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Am I missing something in those answers???????  Am I not getting that they actually are answering my question?  I just can't see that they are responding to my question of FEELING in that MOMENT which I continue on and forget afterwards.

Between this question and listening to this guy about the Matrix.... my head hurts!  ha ha ha

Cherry Tree

It's been a while, I know.  Mostly life continues on pretty much the same.  Tho lately it has been better.  I've been still listening and working what I understand from Abraham Hicks you tubes.

I've been looking for 'a better feeling' when I have been down.  And doing much more meditating.  It's helping.  I had some growth this week in the emotion area, in just finding that better feeling when I have been down.  Working too on releasing limiting beliefs.  Although I'm writing that I'm doing this stuff, it's not much that I can really explain on it.  I just know as it comes up, I look and shift it as best as I can.

I had found too a guided meditating you tube - Unlock Your Life.  I really like her way of what she says in the meditating.  She has some on weight loss too that follow closely to Abraham Hicks ideas.  She has Think Yourself Slim site too.  I thought of buying the downloads, but decided I would make a 21 day set up myself from what I could find on youtube Took me a few hours last night to get them into an order etc.  Basically have a teaching video, then a guided weight (most of them), then an affirmation video, and then a night guided meditation one.  Feel good about them.  

Jax is doing well.  Took him to the dog park today and he ran and ran.  No other dog around, but he was happy to go.  Now it's nap time for him.

We looked at a house here in town, backing onto a golf course.  The house wasn't for us.  It had what we wanted but just wasn't it.  So we keep looking.

Going to meet Cate at Tim's for coffee this afternoon.  Other then that I've been working at some art projects.  Came up with a 3 set painting, that ended up adding a paint pour with it because I had left over paint that I needed to do something with!  ha ha ha.  Still working on them.  I did do a few others:

Made a few more, but didn't photograph them.  These are pretty good.  Remember I'm a simple painter!  What I see to paint, and what ends up on the canvass are often different.

My chest is better, tho still get pains.  Mostly I think because of something I ate.  Or the weather.  I'm able to cut grass, weed the flower beds - which is unending it seems.  There are so many weeds, I've sort of given up.  I think we will have to cut down our cherry tree.

Looks like it has a fungus in the trunk.  Sad about that.  Looks interesting tho.  I'm wondering if the crab apple tree has it too as this year the leaves seem to be dried up.  The cherry tree had cherries on it and is lovely.  Just the trunk.......  I'm thinking....let's move instead of cut it down.  ha ha ha

Kinda like the car idea - get a new SUV instead of fix the little things going wrong.  Speaking of SUV, still loving our new SUV.  I am so happy that we have it.

Drama with nephew/sis and mom continue.  Tho D did get accepted into the army.  He is to go August 16/19 up north in Quebec.  Just have to get to that point, and that he goes.  It will be best for everyone apparently.  I told sis that M can come visit us if he wants.  She told him and he said he might want to.  He has 2 weeks summer school, then off.  We are good with him coming here for a bit.  He's always been my boy, in a way.  He was the one I held for years when he was first born/young.  There's a bit of a heart connection with him for me.  Doubt he feels that, but that's ok.  If he doesn't want to show up, that's ok with me too.  I keep my alignment - most important.

Mom isn't really talking with sis.  Tho sis has called her a few times.  Mom says what sis yelled at her broke her, and she needs to apologize for it.  I'm guessing sis's take is she doesn't even know what she said to mom that needs to be apologized for as she believes what she said.  Personally I just listen to both sides and be nonjudgmental to both.  As both believe they are right, and both are entitled to what they feel - and what they create.  It has nothing to do with me, and I'm going to do my best to keep it that way.  Even if M asks me, my take on it - it's to not take either side, or to make either one the bad person. They are all good people.  But just to help him see they are who they are, and that he creates his own reality and life.

Well, there it is.  It's 12 noon, should look for lunch before I go.  Wishing anyone reading this blessings of light. 

Ta

😺

Lining Up the Plans

Beautiful weather.... tho humid.  But for some reason, being out in the humidity isn't bothering me too much - I do have to go in, and not do much, but still.  Went out, cut grass and weeded the other day.  Today we went this morning to the market.  Took Jax too.  Went on the scooters. He stayed on my lap.

Mostly just listening to Abraham Hicks you tube and working at healing what comes up.

Nephew D got into the Army.  Going in August to Northern Quebec for 3 yrs.  He's a bit scared of being so far, so long away from his family.... and his grandmother.  But mom says to him GO.  Currently he's back home with sis and they are camping this weekend.  Mom told him to go live at home for the month, as he has been living with her.  Tensions are not good between everyone... mom, sis/hub/brother, hub's parents and of course D.  Hope he will make it and go.

We went to look at a house in London last weekend.  Was nice, on the river... but in a few years the river view will be gone with the trees by the river, and the house wasn't for us.  We talked with the agent later and agreed to let her look for a home for us - and only contact us if she found a home that meets what we want.  Gave her a specific list.  She was up for it.  Will see what she comes back with.  Feeling like this is moving forward and that $$ will come.

Jax's back is doing so much better.  He's able to go to daycare and have fun.  Still needs monitoring but at least he can go.  Take him to dog park too.

That's it!

Humming Moth

Continuing to listen to Abraham Hicks.

Went to lunch the other day with AJ and we were talking houses again, he mentioned that i was focusing on it too much and I need to back off it like Abraham says.  I realized he was right.  I am focusing and getting upset about it.  We have a good idea of where and what we want it's just the $$ we are needing to come in for it.  

There is still a part that doesn't want to do the work of boxing up etc and moving.  i just want to move.

I was talking to him how as a child I always wanted to move.  We looked at houses and I was excited that I would get to go to a new school etc - be someone else.  In the end, we just moved down the street - nothing changed.

Then this morning I was thinking in the shower about it, and realized as an adult I wanted to move but didn't.  Told AJ how .....oh, then I realized - this explains why suddenly I want another cat!!! Because every time I wanted to move, my mom would let me have another cat.  The more I had the less i could move.  And when I didn't get a cat then mom would do something that would keep me home.  Moved from a room to a bigger room, to break the wall to add another room, to move downstairs to the apartment... cats and a dog between.

I needed to let all that go.  it was insightful.  And now over.

So, i am stepping back and just letting the moving/house be and know it will come.  So will the money.

************************

We talked about going to Boston in October.  Will have to see about the money.  Reason - twofold.  One AJ's brother and wife live there ..... and main one - Abraham has a session there.  I'd like to go.  We have to think and figure it out, and find the $$ for it.  It's a thought.

*******************

I was cutting the grass the other evening when I saw something at the flowers.  Stopped and looked.... is that a tiny hummingbird?????  Noooo......  what is that?  It looks like a humming bird.....  it's a 

It's a humming bird MOTH!   I was so very delighted!  I've never seen one.  I was smiling.  Not my photo.  It was gone when I finally got back with the camera.  Made grassing cutting fun.

Wings

My stitches are out and foot is fine.  My back is sore tho.  There's really stuff I'm creating in the vortex that is causing my body illnesses.  Ugh.  I need to stop the resistances!!!!  And I'm not sure what they are.....

I took something - either food or pills - that my body had enough of.  Last week Thursday was cleaning the bathroom in the afternoon, suddenly twinged in my low back, and I was out for the count.  It's finally starting to feel a BIT better - still painful but I can stand up and walk upright.  

Went yesterday (Saturday) to Carol's - from church - for a mediumship course.  Might a nice woman, Karen.  I liked her.  There is a guy  - Rhys coming in August to teach a another course, signed up for that too.  

Jax is doing well.  Going to try the TWR again.  Will bring him next week.

Kinda thinking of staying either in Strath or moving to London one day.  Still going to look at Windsor, but think London will be nicer - know more around here, church is here, etc.

Not much more.

Oh, wings.....

Pruning Shears

Not me.  But I was out there pruning yesterday.  Just trimming up a bit of the bushes etc.  It's so easy to maintain the gardens this year.  Last year I wasn't sure I could do it, but this year... a bit here, a bit there..... put the shears in your pocket....miss...point into right foot.... OWCH!!!  

Humm, blood...oh shit a lot of blood coming out!  Oh oh, shoe is filling with blood - better go in a clean it.  Blood all over the floor in the bathroom, in the shower.  Finally got it to slow down, bandaged it up.  An hour later, after AJ kept saying I need to go to the hospital and get some stitches.  No, look it's fine.  Oh shit, blood all over the floor.  Ok, yeah let's go.

Took a taxi as I couldn't really drive - besides didn't want to get blood all over the new SUV.  Was closed again when we got into the taxi and hospital.  More nervous about the freezing needle then anything else.

When it first hit my foot, it really didn't hurt that much.  I knew I had hurt it, but was more like eh, don't do that, and turned to continue looking at what to prune next.  Thought after, I'd better look at it again, something doesn't sense right.  I pulled my foot out of the slipper (can't think of the shoes type, but it was plastic/full closed front, slide in type) and saw a lot of blood just gushing out and realized I'd better deal with this instead.  At no point did it really hurt - until today.  Now it stings.  It's healing and sore.  Took an Advil last night so I'm a bit tired on top of it all.  Want to go to church later - not sure I feel up to it.  Might go nap again.

Was only about 2 or 3 or 4 stitches.  Very small.  It was I think just perfectly on that spot where I hit a good vein - hence all the blood pouring out.  Not up for gardening today.  Tomorrow going to bring Jax to Tail Waggin for a the first time in months.  Bit nervous, but he should be fine, and I'm going to meet Sue for coffee, then do some grocery shopping.  Don't think I will be cutting the grass tomorrow either.  Will have to get to that at some point this week.  I was going to do that yesterday - tho my plan changed suddenly.

It's cool but sunny and beautiful out.  Really a good day to do things in the garden/yard.  I'm just not up for it.

Posted my pruning goof on facebook.  Ended with 'send chocolates'.  Still waiting for them.  ha ha ha.

Drive

So I am enjoying the new drive.  I do like the new SUV, and it still makes me happy driving it.

Tho I do wonder if believing in the manifesting, etc, that we could have gotten like a Lexus or Mercedes.  Technically, the belief of manifesting - the answer is yes.  So, did I not trust in the Vortex and that there is a more expensive SUV in there?  Best not to dwell on that.  I am happy with the Kia. 

Waiting for the butterfly to come in - should be in the next few weeks.  Some things from Amazon take a long while.

Jax is doing well, tho still experiences some back issues.  Going to see Dr Steve with him today for an adjustment.

WW is fine.  Not following it, but just aligning with what I'm eating.  And I'm meditating more.   Not much to report on either of those things at the moment.

Cleaned up some weeds this week.  With all the rains we have had, it helps the pulling of the weeds.  Don't have anything as much as we had last year!!!  So glad about that.  Go out do a bit here and there, and boom - the back is done.  Just have the front to do now.

That's about it for now.