Getting Side Tracked

When I found LonerWolf, I started wandering around on it, and took some quizzes.  One was on Psychological Archetypal Test.

My results were:

15% The Orphan which is:

The Orphan

Orphans are independent, self-reliant and are mistrustful of authority. Orphans, fearing exploitation, seek to regain the comfort of the womb and neonatal safety in the arms of loving parents. To fulfill their quest they must go through the agonies of the developmental stages they have missed. Their strength is the interdependence and pragmatic realism that they had to learn at an early age.

Shadow Side: The victim. This will manifest itself in your feelings of being victimized by others, and consequently blaming your incompetence, irresponsibility, or even predatory behavior on other people. You might also expect special treatment and exemption from life because you feel so fragile. When your Shadow Orphan takes control it can attack those who are trying to help you, harming these people and yourself simultaneously.

Life Goal: Regain safety
Fear: Exploitation
Response to Problem: Being victimized by it
Life Task: Process and feel pain fully
Personal Gifts: Independence, realism, resilience, empathy
Personal Pitfalls: Cynicism, tendency to be the victim or victimized, chronic complaining

Then came 2nd The Sage (12%) and The Seeker (12%)

The Sage

The Sage archetype seeks the truths that will set us free. If the Sage has overcome the temptation of dogma, this can result in wisdom and the ability to see the world and others objectively. The Sage is a seeker of truth and enlightenment and journeys far in search of the next golden nugget of knowledge. The danger for the Sage is the deep seated fear that their hard-won wisdom is built on the sands of falsehood. However, the Sage has hope that through honesty, they will learn to see life with clarity.

Shadow Side: The judge. This will manifest itself in your life as the tendency to be cold, rational, heartless, dogmatic, even pompous – evaluating others in an unfair or insensitive manner.

Life Goal: Truth, understanding
Fear: Deception, illusion
Response to Problem: Study it, understand it, transcend it
Life Task: Attain wisdom
Personal Gifts: Wisdom, non-attachment, knowledge, skepticism
Personal Pitfalls: Being overly critical, pomposity, impracticality, lacking of feeling/empathy

The Seeker (or Explorer)

The Seeker leaves the known to discover and explore the unknown. This inner-rugged individual braves loneliness and isolation to seek out new paths. Often oppositional, this iconoclastic archetype helps us discover our uniqueness, our perspectives and our callings. Seekers are looking for something that will improve their life in some way, but in doing so they may not realize that they have a lot already inside of themselves. They embrace learning and are ambitious, and often tend to avoid the encumbrance of support from others. Needing to "do it themselves," they keep moving until they find their goal (and usually their true self too).

Shadow Side: The perfectionist. This will manifest itself in your life as the tendency to always strive to measure up to an impossible goal or to find the “right” solution. We see this shadow element in people whose main life activity is self-improvement: going from health club to health club, traveling the world, bouncing back and forth through self-improvement seminars and workshops, etc. If this sounds like you, you might wind up feeling as though you haven't really accomplished anything through a lack of commitment.

Life Goal: Search for a better way (better life)
Fear: Conformity, entrapment
Response to Problem: Leave it, escape it, take off
Life Task: Be true to a Higher Self
Personal Gifts: Autonomy, ambition, identity, expanded possibilities
Personal Pitfalls: Inability to commit, chronic disappointment, alienation and loneliness

There are others that go down the list.  I found that these 3 do kinda fit with me, but I wonder if The Orphan and The Sage could be flipped.

Lastly (?) I did the Spiritual One and got:

The Mystic

Result Image

Mystics love experiencing first-hand the blissful Union of Divinity. As you resonate the most with the Mystic archetype, you will be drawn towards transcending the ego and melting the boundaries between “you” and Infinite Consciousness. As a deeply sensitive, intuitive, and perceptive person, you have always sensed that there is something “beyond” the ordinary. Therefore, the pursuit of earthly pleasures such as fame, status, and riches has never appealed to you to the same extent as it does to others.

As a Mystic, you yearn for wisdom, love, and the ultimate freedom that comes from merging with your True Nature. You are devoted to exploring the Mystery that is life and inviting the presence of the Divine into your everyday life. To you, the ultimate achievement in life is the unio mystica, the spiritual marriage between the self and the Soul.

Shadow Side:

The dark side of the Mystic temperament can manifest as a selfish hoarding of hidden truths, egocentrism – especially if mystical experiences are used to inflate the ego and make it more “special,” and intellectual dryness – particularly if the search for truth doesn’t include cultivating a Heart connection. When not grounded in the necessary function of logic, Mystics can become impulsive, fickle, and flaky. Also, when not properly grounded, the Mystic temperament can also lose touch with reality.

Strengths:

These strengths are developed when you’re open, aware, and internally balanced.

• Sensitive
• Perceptive
• Intuitive
• Wise
• Receptive
• Open-minded
• Loving

Weaknesses:

These weaknesses arise when you become unmindful, imbalanced, and spiritually stagnant.

• Egotistical
• Ungrounded
• Dry
• Impulsive
• Airy-fairy

Spiritual Purpose: Transcending the ego and uniting with the Divine.

Existential Fear: Being completely isolated from the Divine in the mundaneness and emptiness of daily life.

Lesson to Learn: Spiritual experiences must be emotionally, psychologically, and physically integrated into daily life for real growth to occur. The heart and mind must be balanced. There is no true separation between “you” and God/Divine.

Mystic’s Totem: Snake; shedding skin as a constant rebirth and transformation.

Mystic’s Crystal: Labradorite; assists in moving into alternate levels of consciousness and vibration, helping one to consciously 'move between the worlds.'

Mystic’s Herb: Elderberry; elder tree has a long history connected to ancient mysticism, the spirit of this tree was known as “Elder Mother” for its powerful transformative energy.

Mystics Mantra: There is no separation, I am One with God.

Huh.  Ok, ok - I'll stop posting these! 🙀

Soul Reterival and Loss

I've been thinking on that soul fragmenting and thought I'd look it up again.

From  Divinity for life found this:

why Soul Fragmentation or Soul loss happens.

Some of the symptoms of soul fragmentation are:

• Feel fragmented in some way or that an essential part of themselves is missing.

• A gap in memory. Having no memory of your life from a young age through through teenage years.

• A person may recall that there was a trauma but can’t remember the surrounding details.

• Chronic depression (Often the fragmentation of a person’s essential being keeps him or her from being able to create a path of joy).

• Life is spent exploring ways, often abusive ways, to get to feelings and experiences that create a sense of purpose, however false.

• Physical illness can also be a symptom of soul loss. Often when we give away our power we become ill. Because the universe cannot stand a void, if we are missing pieces of ourselves, an illness might fill in that place.

• Instead of being able to follow the soul’s journey, such a person often feels depressed and unfulfilled.

In some way, most of us experience some degree of soul loss. Some people have been more deeply traumatized by life; they may seem quite “dispirited.” Life has been kinder to others; they may not have needed to protect themselves so completely. Regardless of the degree of trauma, however, most people yearn for a fuller sense of vitality and connectedness to life.

From Life As A Human I found these:

We may lose significant aspects of our nature, like the ability to sense when we are overextended, or whether it is safe to act on our instincts, or the understanding of how to navigate difficult relationship dynamics.

Sometimes Soul Loss occurs when there is an early instinctive knowledge that something in life is “just too much to bear”, like being born into a situation where there is a lack of nurture. Soul Loss both before and at the time of birth is also possible depending on the circumstances of the pregnancy, and because of the attitudes and procedures surrounding the birth.

Soul Loss can occur during emotional or physical trauma, such as an accident, abusive situation, sudden shock to the system, surgery, disaster, divorce, psychic attack, or death of a loved one. Not all trauma leads to Soul Loss, and sometimes the Soul Fragments will return on their own, but often this is not the case.

Soul Loss can weaken our system and leave us more vulnerable to illness and psychic attack (including the Spiritual Intrusions or thought forms, which we ‘install’ in ourselves through negative self projections).

Compensatory mechanisms and habits may be developed to make up for this loss of essential energy. These mechanisms can often cause distress, or lead to further loss. Addiction may be one way of trying to fill the void left by Soul Loss or Power Loss.

On the other side of there not being any soul fragmenting, I found on The Big Picture Questions a blog that he had a talk with Needler (?) this was some of it:

And so there cannot be “soul fragmentation” as such or “soul loss.”

But in terms of soul fragmentation, the only thing I can think of that would classify as being a fragmented soul is when we have shards being created. So it’s not actually a fragmentation, but it’s a designed (by ourselves) function of individualizing a smaller part of our sentience, and assigning it to another form to experience a parallel condition — not parallel in terms of event space or a parallel universe or parallel experience — but additional experience to help with understanding of different things concurrently. So that’s what I would classify as being soul fragmentation.

But in terms of a part of a soul, or some part of the soul being disassociated from the human form as a result of any of these different experiences of trauma, I would say that’s not the case. I would say basically what happens at times is that the ego chooses not to experience that experience again. It classifies it as being traumatic and decides to forget it. And the only potential way for getting that back would be through some form of healing.

Still, it appears even in this that it's similar with Soul Loss.

The best list I found is from LonerWolf that gives 21 signs you're experiencing Soul Loss:

• Memories and parts of your life have been blocked out.
• You experience strong periods of depression.
• Parts within yourself feel missing or broken.
• You experience a general numbness to life.
• Constant feelings of fear or anxiety plague you.
• You go through long periods of insomnia.
• You feel lost or incomplete.
• You feel like a ‘different person’ after a shocking or traumatic life event.
• You feel stuck or incapable of overcoming a certain issue in your life.
• You feel disappointed with life.
• You feel as though there are multiple “selves” within you.
• You try to escape by turning to alcohol, drugs, sex, television, or excessive busyness.
• You feel unworthy of being loved.
• You are experiencing a dark night of the soul.
• You want to find your purpose and meaning in life.
• You feel like your daily life is meaningless and task-driven.
• You avoid feeling vulnerable and keep others at a distance.
• You long for wholeness and a sense of belonging.
• You sometimes feel that you’re not in control of yourself.
• You constantly feel mentally or physically fatigued for no medical reason.
• You thirst for authenticity and complete acceptance of yourself.

That list I can really relate to.

Around and Around

I swirl around thinking on things.

Like why did I come up with that picture in my head of a tribe/leader bent over eating/fire and then ribs....and then me being the ribs.  How weird.  It amazes me that such random pictures appear.  But then were they random?  I just saw suddenly.

Then I wonder:

Is that why I'm not interested in pork?  That I have a slight allergy to pork foods?  Always struggle with the taste of it/thought of it.  Yet chicken, beef, turkey and some fish is fine.  I have a bit of uninterest in other seafoods.....oh great is that another issue to remember then?

Does that explain why I've always been a bit nervous, intrigued, leery of fires?  Then again on that, my father was a fire fighter so it might be stories he would occasionally tell.  I'd go with him sometimes when it was a grass fire, tho I HAD to stay in the car.  Bit boring doing that, never really saw much.  

On that, I wonder if my father was the leader?  Just kinda fits for some reason.  Along that then too, I think AJ was there.  But AJ was just one of the tribe members, not one of the ones who helped.  Don't know why I think that.


I paint/draw a tree on a hill or a house a lot when I just don't know what to paint.  But sometimes.....I am drawn to caves, fire and stick figures.  As I think of them it's tribal, and mostly night drawing/paintings.  Tho to be fair that could just be the mystic issue around it all that draws me in and I'm wanting.

What about authority figures?  They scare me. Have had fear about them and what they could/would do to me.  Always have.  As though they have the power over my life.  They can hurt me.  Again that could just be cuz of father's abuse towards me.  Hum, him being my father and abuse.....and him being leader and his destruction of me???

And about the cut.....How strange that all my operations are around my stomach/hip areas.  That leads to the baby.

The baby - I had one pregnancy that never resulted in a baby, had lost it.

Still in that lower area - I always was hyper about the size of my hips/lower abdomen area and very focused on getting rid of that fat.  Not in the rib area, I know, but more in the 'baby' area.  Which I had a hysterectomy too,

More trauma that I am drawn to remembering has to do with the cutting up, removal of the baby, intestines and organs area.  The ribs were just left overs.  I was still barely alive with those things happening then with the ribs.  I think the ribs just bring me into it as they are a more calmer thing for me to be able to look at.

Interesting too is that my major weight tends to be around my stomach, and years ago towards my hips, and also some on my back - around the rib area.  My arms, legs and somewhat face aren't overweight that much.  Granted some weight needs to go there to help me walk etc, but when you look at me from the back - I'm not that overweight looking, until you see my sideways and from the front.  I've looked 'pregnant' for years.

Then I move on and wonder about my detachment abilities.  I feel it for a moment, see it, focus on it and boom I'm detached from it all and it just appears as a visual story to me.

Can I really heal things if I don't connect anymore?

And what about....why is everything connected to past things?  Why do I need to go to the past to heal things?  Why can't things just be healed and I move forward - AND GET RESULTS THAT I CAN SEE!

Really, will I be writing about similar issues in 10 years?  God I hope not!!!!!

Soul Retrieval?  How am I going to do that, if that's what I need?  

Haven't heard anything from Joan as of this point.  Decided to up my Reiki appointment with Diane from June 6 to tomorrow.  She had time - yah.  

Finally, why can't I access more information then - especially since I want to.  I've thought on it, spaced on it, stared out into the garden on it, and thought about it before falling asleep - with listening to memory recall beats and nothing.  Nothing at all.  Nothing after that bath and those 'memories'.  

Why am I stuck or stopped here then?  Why show me this much and then f*n leave me with nothing else on it.  How does that help me more forward into the future.

Which cycles me around again to does it matter?  Will this change anything in me, for me?

Sigh.

Bath

In the bath as I thought about it. I started having thoughts. Here is where I wonder if I'm playing fill in the blanks or whether I was accessing information.

I sensed the word baby. I wondered if the baby was inside or outside of me. And then I wondered if the baby was dead.

I wondered if I stopped the kill of the animal or pig (for some reason I thought/felt it was a pig and not another type of animal) because it was a mother with babies. Did I associate with the mama pig because I was pregnant?

I felt that the male leader was already malicious, despised me, anger came out of him towards everyone.

Then I saw and sensed a cut on my stomach from the chest down words. I wondered if the cut was side to side. But I kept going back to up and down.

I realized then that the leader had gotten two people to hold my arms and another to cut my stomach open. He watched with delight. They ripped out my baby and smashed it. I was still alive and saw it. Then they pulled out my insides as I died. In the end the leader was eating the meat off my ribs.

What I wondered about too was:

Did my soul fragment?
Was there 5 people in the tribe?  (I don't think so, I think there were 8)
Was there 5 times I had been cannibalized - as in past lives?
Are there 5 pieces of me still unresolved/found?

I looked up soul fragment and came up with soul retrieval. I realized that I had found soul retrieval about 10 years ago and wondered then if this applied to me. Now I wonder again.

I emailed Joan on my questions and what had developed in the bath and she replied that she wanted to meditate on it over the weekend.

Here is my email to her:

Hi Joan

No dreams of insight last night.  🤔😥

Questions tho.

In the tub I thought as there was nothing else to do!  

What I thought was:

1.  Baby.  Huh.  Was baby inside or outside of me?  Why baby?  

2.  Why was I willing to scare away food?   Saw pig with babies.  But then we would have eaten the babies too.  AJ (my hubby now) says maybe the mama was pregnant and I knew this.  Was I then pregnant too and understood the feeling?

3.  5.  What was it about 5.  Then I wondered about canabalism and thought it's something that happens.  Thought did I try 5 more times to heal this and ended up being eaten?

4.  Or was there 5 tribe members?  Don't think so.....but did 5 of them eat on me?

Then I saw as I thought about the baby and mama pig. And that I was sad walking but not scared of the leader who was mean, angry, malicious.  When we got back and later there was venom as he talked to me about the afternoon to the point that he told 2 others to hold my arms......I saw someone, not leader but another as leader watched in pleasure, cut me from my chest stomach down.  I don't think they cut me low and across.  I think they took out my baby.  I was still alive and they smashed it.  They pulled out my insides as I died.

5.  Suddenly I wondered if my soul fragmented at this point.  Could the soul fragment?  Did my soul fragment in 5 pieces?  

I looked up soul fragmenting.  I've read about soul retrieval about 10 years ago and wondered if this happened to me then and now I was reading about it again last night.

Other then that I'm content today, almost as I'm lalalalala thinking.

Would you be willing/able to provide me with some insight on these?  Some direction as to if some of this is correct etc?

Would you like a payment too for time spent on this?  I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do next and with these ideas?  

Are they just logical ideas to fit in with the story blanks?  I feel deattached in a way from it all at the moment and wonder about that too.

Please advise if possible.

Thank you so much!

Hugs.

That's where I am now.

Yesterday's Outcome

So I'm guessing you want to kind of have an idea of what happened in the session with Joan. Well she called on time, and we talked. I had told her about the Forgotten issue, I told her about the other dream as I had only emailed her the first dream. Then I also talked about how I've been feeling down the last few weeks, I've been feeling like I can't be happy and that I feel I create myself as a victim.

She said that when she focused in on me that day, she got the sense that I needed to feel 
joy. That followed basically along the line of my feelings of being down and being happy.

As we talked she suggested that we should do hypnosis but I had said originally that I just wanted to talk. I sensed we needed to do this, and told her I was already under.  I can at this point relax fast enough to be in that state without having to wander around steps going down, relaxing, getting calmer, going deeper.  It does help, but I can quickly get there too.  At this point, since we had been talking, I didn't want to waste time doing a after hour relax.  I don't think she wanted to either.  She checked in with me a bit, and I kept saying I'm there.  Think she realized it was ok. She asked me where these feelings came from and I wondered if it was from when I was younger although didn't think it was from this life.  At first we had talked about when I was 5 yrs old and sis was born.  She kept nudging me and said she thought it was earlier.  Then she said from a past life.

I know past life is questionable. Is it real?  Some people believe in it others do not. It's unknown to me. It bothers me just like other unanswered questions. Or things like those people who disappear, aliens, Atlantis ..... those types of things.

So just going on with the idea of past life and following that route...... 

She asked me how many lives ago I thought it was. I said five. Then she asked me when the original happened as she felt it was longer - she wanted to get the original point otherwise I'd just have to deal with this again.  I saw the number 200. She said wow that was a long long time ago.  (remember this is 200 LIFE TIMES ago, not years ago)   As I had said that, I also saw a started to see. I saw a man with fur skin on sitting by a fire eating. He was eating something off of of ribs. She asked me where I was. I couldn't really tell.  I knew there were others, but it was like they had their back to the person by the fire.  And I knew I wasn't the person sitting by the fire.  Was clear on that.  I could see it was a cave, this was a tribe.

I started feeling sick. I was nauseous. I kept going around, and looking.  I kept looking at the person and at the ribs.  I looked again at the ribs.  And I said to her, I think I am the ribs.

She asked me to go back earlier that day to see what led up to this. I took a breath and I saw me walking behind the man with the fur in the fields. I could see grass as we followed a trail. There were more of the tribe with us. I felt down. She asked why. I said that we had gone out to get and hunt food. I had done something so that the animal escaped. I didn't know what I had done to cause this but I knew it was my fault that we didn't get any food.

Joan started to explain that sometimes the animal hears something and gets away, or that the hunt is 'off'..... I said no, I did something so that we didn't get the animal.  As I think of it now, I think that's weird, as at that point in history - food was life.  Why on earth would someone purposely let food get away?

I flipped back to the cave/fire/eating.  I realized after that they had killed me... and I was eaten.

Joan asked what else. I couldn't get any other information. She asked me to ask my higher guides to show me more information. I still couldn't get anything. She said that they were probably protecting me. I said I didn't understand, I want to know and how is this protecting me if I don't know. Basically we ended with me having to meditate and think and what had happened. She said that I would probably get more information in the days to come. And probably too in dreams.

I felt nauseous and down and wanting to cry after the session. Basically sat outside cried a bit and then decided to work in the garden. Afterwards I went and took a bath.

Today's Post

Note!  I found out that there are apps which I can do speak to text.  Yeah, even MORE rambling allowed.  ha ha ha.  But then too it helps to get down what I am thinking easier, and then edit it as I post.  Hopefully this, and the next posts, as it's really long, will make sense - with just a tad of my convoluted thinking.

Here goes: 

I hate this. I really struggle with the truth. I know that things can be changed and that you can create things in your head. Actually even scientists have gone on to prove that they can create a false memory. Because of that, I often wonder if what I think is true.  They've actually done studies where they have told certain participant's that they had something happened to them as a kid and eventually those people actually believed it. So that makes me wonder when I look back on the past as to whether or not what I remember is really the truth. But this isn't the first time I've written about this.  It's just that it comes up again and again because of how ambiguous things are. 

Thinking about what  was said with Joan and what came out of that session. And then I wondered okay is it true or is it not true. Is it something that I am creating in my head to give answers as to why.

I'm sitting here like, I really don't even know what to say because I keep going back to truth. And then I sort of feel like I could cry just because I guess I'm thinking about the session with Joan and came up about it.

After I talked with her and it wasn't really overly resolved I had decided to do suggested take a bath, cleaned out the tub and sat in an Epsom salt bath.  (after sitting in the garden and then going and pulling more weeds out)

I kind of just let my mind wander on everything that had happened and what have been said I kind of started either thinking of answers or creating answers. I wondered why on certain things and then I would start kind of not really deciding, but how it fit more like letting my mind go and coming up with an answer and then following that thought to another question.

So here I am, thinking all day on things from the session and from the bath. I didn't get any specific dreams that night so I'm just left with the thoughts, whys and wonders.

The session was in a way good, I was happy to talk with Joan.  It was left unresolved - at least for the moment.  She said I would eventually get thru it.  

Way too Hot

It's very humid out and I'm very hot and sweaty - even in the basement!  I also feel ugh with the weather. 

I did speak with Joan last night, and I'm processing what developed.

Right now I don't have much energy to write.  Tomorrow there is suppose (!) to be a storm, so might be cooler - and other then the usual housework and laundry, I will try to get to writing.  

I've finished the gardens!!!!  Well, there a semi-tiny amount I could rake in the back with a few weeds in it again, but it's not a major issue.  So the gardens are ready for Tim to come and mulch.  I hope he comes soon.  He said first week of June.

Man this house and garden cost us more then we planned.  AJ's not thrilled.  I'm not either, but it really starting to look good.

I'm off to drink some more water and look at comics.  

Ta

Humid Wednesday

Today's Wednesday.  Today's Humid and hot out.  Guess that about sums up everything.

Ok, I'll give a bit more.  Saw Jerilyn (therapist) today.  Really didn't have much to report to her.  Don't have much to report in general.

I'm still somewhat down.  I have been thinking about that.  Think I will discuss it with Joan tomorrow when she calls.  I will talk with her about the forgotten issue too.  I wonder if some of this down has to do with happy.  It's not like I'm unhappy.  I'm just not happy.  I'm content with things - hubby, pets, garden, house.  I'm down about things like friendships - they just don't seem one of the things I can do.  Looks like Michelle is off radar now.  Not that she's not a friend.... just that painting etc appears to have disappeared.  Even talking with her, I suggested lunch or dinner and she said she'd get back to me, but hasn't, even though we've talked since. Not going to push it.

Maureen and Mike are moving next week.  Again a friendship that wasn't quite working out for me.  I'm sorry to see them leave as I will miss her - on an occasional once in a while plan.  Daily or semi-weekly was too much for me with her.  Going to see them for lunch tomorrow.  Have to remember that card to give them.

I do talk occasionally with Monica who walks Molly.  Molly is an older, little dog not impressed with eager Jax.  They live down the street, not far.  Friendly woman, like her.  

Too hot to work outside today.  Might try a bit in the evening as I want to finish that big garden.  I've got most of it done on my own.  I had hoped the boy across the street would help, but he's be MIA lately.  Oh well.

Jax loves going to the dog park.  Went this morning for a bit.  He was in the big side for a while, but then too many big dogs came and I brought him over to the small side.  I just don't trust a lot / some of the big dogs.  Apparently there was an issue on Monday or Sunday with a husky attacking a Springer Spaniel pup.  Pup is ok.  I'd much rather Jax in the small side alone then chancing an unknown dog.  Even when some people say "Oh, my dog likes little dogs, he's friendly."  Then...yeah, he likes them alright!  For LUNCH!!!  Even though I'm nervous, I take Jax, and steel my nerves when I feel the big park might be ok, and sadden myself when I put him alone in the small side.

Still waiting to hear when AJ is going to the specialist.  If he has to have surgery....worried about that.  Hope they will let him go to rehab for a while.  I can't see me being able to lift him, help him up and down.  I can feed him, but the lifting and getting him onto the chair, couch, toilet, in/out of the car, into/out of bed, up and down stairs (I'd have to get him onto the chair lift then drive it up and down the stairs).   And showering....  I know it's a shoulder but as I've written - it's his only controllable arm that stabilizes his walking and getting up and down.  He loses that - well...basically...he's f*kd big time.....and I'm screwed trying to help him.  Of course I would do my best helping him, it's just.  Ok, no more thinking on that one.

I could write about how my pain is sore.  I have so much trouble sleeping because of it.  Constantly there , even writing my fingers ache.  My hips/legs are stiff for hours now in the morning.  Yeph, I still garden - but I can only do it for a little while now, and I'm very leery of kneeling as getting up is hard.  But my pain is nothing new.

Food...that's boring.  Nothing new there either.

Obviously I really don't have much to write about today.  So how about a few funnies before I sign off.  Let me see what I can find.

and finally.....

OH MY!  That's udderly ridiculous!   ha ha ha