Forgotten

Back to that Forgotten thing.

On Sunday I planned to go to my sister's place as she was having a Stampin Up class.  She does that stuff - cards etc.  Very good at it too.  Was to visit Mom before going to her place.  (they live close).

I woke that morning after a dream.  Again I was semi-upset and perplexed about the dream.  In it I was with mom and she had given me some leftover foods, I think like lasagna.  It was a tray of it.  Then in came my sister and her family and I was upset as now she was going to take the leftover foods.  I started crying and saying here take it, just forget about me.  My mother was looking at me with a confused look, my sister was saying you can have it, and I continued stressing about being forgotten about.  My mother gave me the tray again, but this time instead of leftover lasagna it had rows of slices of cake.  She wanted me to take it.  I looked and thought it was for my sister to take instead.  I wasn't sure if it was for me.   Woke feeling all emotional about it.

Thought about that as I drove (3 hour drive alone).  Leftovers, the real dinner meal, sis coming in, mom pushing sweets, and me saying I'm forgotten.  Above all they were confused as to why I thought I was forgotten.  And really, I can see why they thought that.  

If I were to read it basically - there wasn't much real substance love in our house when I was little, what love there was leftover was, in my feelings, suddenly given to my sister when she was born, although my mother loved me too, she tried to show it by feeding me sweets to make me happy, but I continued to feel forgotten about.  

I also thought about the need that I had to 'give it up' for my sister.  There's something in that, I continue to feel I need to give up my life etc for another - maybe because then I will be remember!  Oh, didn't connect that last part until I wrote it.

I wonder too if that's why I feel that AJ accepts being with me, but not that I would choose you as you are if I got to do it again thing.  I know he loves me today.

Got to my mom's and there was a note on the door that she was at my sis's.  The major wind storm had knocked down some trees into sis's pool.  My nephew Dan is back living with my mom at the moment, and his help was needed.  Mom brought him to help - and connect with his family.

********Note:  when I called mom to say I was coming, we talked.  Remember last Octoberish I wrote about Dan having issues / sis having issues and my feelings about sis's husband possibility of hurting them - wondering if I should contact the police.  Well, mom told me the other day that back then sis's hub was yelling at Dan about the cell phone, wanting to take it away, he cornered Dan, Dan wouldn't give it up, he grabbed his arm and twisted it to get the cell phone.  Brother Matt came in to stop him and hub let Dan go, Dan accidentally hit Matt in the head when his arm got loose.  Dan then CALLED 911 and told the police that his father was assaulting him.
Sis got home at 10pm to - police and ambulance at her house.  Hub was not arrested, but the next day Child Services came and dealt with them.  (Sis told me Sunday that looking back now the woman from Child Services really helped).  That's why they went to therapy - including hub.
Dan is back with mom cause hub says Dan's useless - and he's afraid Child Services will come back.

I KNEW IT!   I FELT IT!  I KNEW AT THAT POINT SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!  I WAS RIGHT!   Not that I'm happy that something did happen.  But I just felt it, and I had told mom then, she didn't say anything about it, and didn't say what had happened completely.

Ok, back to Sunday.
Instead of going to sis's right away I went shopping and had lunch - cuz I figured and thought there wasn't going to be lunch at sis's.  Mom's probably, but sis's no way.  I was right.

I enjoyed the class.  My cousin - Reg, her daughter-in-law (Gabbie), Gabbie's mom, sis's co-worker and sis's friend who helps do this Stampin Up thing were all there.  We made some daisies.  AJ really likes mine - said it turned out well.  Have to get around to photographing them and posting.  Will post on Krystal's Colours under Daisies if you want to see them.  

Don't rush to see the Daisies as I haven't even gotten my camera out yet.....but if you want to see my other stuff it's there.