He's so cute! Ok, to me he is. 🐶💖
Friday, December 30, 2016
Friday Ramble Part Deux
Wanted to get Jax his dinner and walk before it got dark. That and I hoped to get the shoveling done before dinner too. Which I did. I took a few photographs of Jax and his puppy dog.
He's so cute! Ok, to me he is. 🐶💖
He's so cute! Ok, to me he is. 🐶💖
Friday Ramble
I've been out of sorts lately. I'm on fire - and not in a good way. My RA has been flaring the last few days, and I'm in pain, on fire, and want to cry. I couldn't shovel yesterday - had to call Jason to help. Today I shoveled and at the rate this snow is coming down... looks like I will have to shovel again tonight.
I took some Prednisone yesterday. I'm burning on the edges now, would take more, but the pills were expired and the drug store I use is closed this week. At least the major fires have stopped. I got some sleep last night. I really feel the painful burning/fire at night when I'm sleeping. Guess that's because my body is stopped, compared to the movement during the day - right now just my left shoulder is burning. The pills also make me very, very hungry. Kicked me out of ketos yesterday. Very glad for those sticks - so helpful.
Yesteray had:
B - scrambled eggs with mushrooms and celery, 2 sausages, tea
3 thumbprints with nc pb and jam*
S - protein bar*
S - pepperitte*
L - ground chicken, asparagus, pasta, tea
S - pepperitte*
D - 1 lupin/cheese pancake with ground chicken, bok choy
1 lupin/cheese pancake with nc pb and jam*, tea
S - jello, protein bar*, hot shake*(?)
All those * are things I didn't really need. All allowable, but really too much. Most of my eating was tired and empty feeling hunger.
Today is better. So far:
B - 1/4 cup High fiber cereal, 1/2 cup almond milk
L - 4 Spinach bread, 3 with a bit of cream cheese salmon, 1 with bit of nc pb and jam, 2 hard boiled egg whites, coffee with caramel milk (Waldern's no carbs)
Planning for dinner - chicken, spinach, salad with dressing, tea and for snack either chicken or egg or soup.
Went shopping at Costco before the snows came. Got lots of chicken of course, and greens, and other household stuff. Cooked up 7 chicken breasts, making cauliflower soup and a cauli/broccoli soup. Got eggs - cooked some of those up too.
With this blizzard currently coming down looks like I will be getting more exercising. Oh, had to change the pills Dr B suggested for ones with a bit more 'up' - green tea extract in them. I'm just too down and tired. Though I know some of my tired is the flares, I just can't continue with being so wiped. LOOK, there's a break in the blizzard! The snow is lightly falling....at the moment.
For Christmas Jax got a stuffed dog that is twice his size. (among other toys of course) It's funny to watch him play with it. He grabs a leg, drags it, and shakes it. Have to keep him entertained!
I took some Prednisone yesterday. I'm burning on the edges now, would take more, but the pills were expired and the drug store I use is closed this week. At least the major fires have stopped. I got some sleep last night. I really feel the painful burning/fire at night when I'm sleeping. Guess that's because my body is stopped, compared to the movement during the day - right now just my left shoulder is burning. The pills also make me very, very hungry. Kicked me out of ketos yesterday. Very glad for those sticks - so helpful.
Yesteray had:
B - scrambled eggs with mushrooms and celery, 2 sausages, tea
3 thumbprints with nc pb and jam*
S - protein bar*
S - pepperitte*
L - ground chicken, asparagus, pasta, tea
S - pepperitte*
D - 1 lupin/cheese pancake with ground chicken, bok choy
1 lupin/cheese pancake with nc pb and jam*, tea
S - jello, protein bar*, hot shake*(?)
All those * are things I didn't really need. All allowable, but really too much. Most of my eating was tired and empty feeling hunger.
Today is better. So far:
B - 1/4 cup High fiber cereal, 1/2 cup almond milk
L - 4 Spinach bread, 3 with a bit of cream cheese salmon, 1 with bit of nc pb and jam, 2 hard boiled egg whites, coffee with caramel milk (Waldern's no carbs)
Planning for dinner - chicken, spinach, salad with dressing, tea and for snack either chicken or egg or soup.
Went shopping at Costco before the snows came. Got lots of chicken of course, and greens, and other household stuff. Cooked up 7 chicken breasts, making cauliflower soup and a cauli/broccoli soup. Got eggs - cooked some of those up too.
With this blizzard currently coming down looks like I will be getting more exercising. Oh, had to change the pills Dr B suggested for ones with a bit more 'up' - green tea extract in them. I'm just too down and tired. Though I know some of my tired is the flares, I just can't continue with being so wiped. LOOK, there's a break in the blizzard! The snow is lightly falling....at the moment.
For Christmas Jax got a stuffed dog that is twice his size. (among other toys of course) It's funny to watch him play with it. He grabs a leg, drags it, and shakes it. Have to keep him entertained!
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Poon Day
Today was Poon Day. Went down to see how I was doing.... and we went for lunch too. But before I write on that. Here's a photo from Christmas Day at AJ's family. Thought it turned out well.
Usually I don't care for photos of me as I find they don't make me look too good, my eyes tend to look shut and my mouth/teeth too weird. This one was nice. AJ, of course, always looks good in photographs. Oh, when I was trying on clothes for dinners - I ended up having to pull out the old ones that I kept. They looked better on me... so I'm down in size, though just a bit. Most of my current pants are stretchy as I don't have hips to hold up pants. Was a nice feeling. And I was able to wear my wedding ring, at least for the day. By night my hands swell still.
The last few days I have been back on program. Suddenly it was quiet again with the foods/eating compared to those few days before Christmas. Went and got more 'greens' too. Feeling good.
At Poons.... the results are in.... they are......WATER! 5 pounds off, but all water, no fat. Still, Dr B is pleased. Especially since I did it over Christmas. I also told her my tiny tastes, and she was happy with them too. She thought I did very well over all. Even though it's water, it's 5 pounds. I am officially 21 pounds down! I am so happy with the results too. It also has made me optimistic and eager to continue. After Poon we went for lunch in Barrie - I had a steak sandwich, minus the bun, and ordered veggies, the waitress came back to advise me that the chef says the carrots are higher in carbs as they also have brown sugar glaze on them. I had, as a flunk, mentioned I'm low carb to the waitress who mentioned it to the chef. That was good of them, I switched to the salad with oil/vinegar. As a treat, I had a hava from Poon store, and a coffee with French Vanilla flavouring again from Poon store. Was very happy.
Dinner tonight is just some pasta with cream cheese, 2 eggs, and a pepperette (again from the store). Breakfast was a shake, and at Poon's I had a bar - after weigh in of course!
Onward and downward!!! 😋👇
Sunday, December 25, 2016
Aftermas
Christmas visiting etc is OVER for this year. Realized I was stressing a bit before because, well because I had dreams of being slimmer/less weight then I am, and I wasn't. Also, worried I think over the food, even though I knew I wasn't going to cheat. Though I did - I tried a bacon wrapped chestnut, and 1/4 of a fork (if that, even less) of lemon-lime cheese cake. Those things don't bother me. I did binge a bit a few days before, and at AJ's family dinner on foods that are allowable for me. Like asparagus, meat, bit of cheese and my treats. Obviously I still deal with issues via foods. THAT was told to me a while ago that that was the way I am, and that it would probably never change too much. Overall I'm glad with the way I handled things for Christmas. I wasn't in ketos on the 23rd when I checked, and I was only unofficially down 2 pounds. Will have to check to see if I'm in ketos and where m unofficial weight is, I have an appointment with Dr Poon on Dec 28th.
There was underlying drama going on at my family's dinner. My sister told me some info that was happening. And there was the ongoing untalked about issue with my cousin's family. I just stepped back and reminded myself - not my pony show. AJ's family.... nothing but pleasant and friendly, no surprise at either place. Lots of compliments from AJ's family on my new short hair cut - they liked it. I still like it.
Funny how even though Christmas for the last few years with AJ has been peaceful and loving and pleasant....still has me at times in the gripe of childhood feelings and fears Christmas. I know it's the childhood memories that I long to avoid and yet they linger - even with years of therapy, even with total understanding of them/what happened, even with knowing one Christmas is not the memories of childhood Christmas, even with the joys of being with AJ and good Christmases...... I think this year it was the trigger of my change in eating and food that caused Christmas pasts to come up. Hence the deep desire to just stay home and avoid any place with festivities, eating and food. I didn't want to look at how I looked or what I ate. I still feel my foods overall were / are peaceful and my choices are content and peaceful - so that means, it was just the memories I was struggling with I think. I will have to meditate on this a bit. See what comes up.
Stress over food at these things is still going on as I'm learning. I know this, but it still was ... not really a challenge, more new? untested? The desserts at AJ's family was tricky as the women make delicious treats. I didn't have any of it!! I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I want my new life decision more - even if I binged somewhat on my foods. That I think is not dealing with the emptiness within self. That place where fear of ?? and loneliness ?? still surfaces at times. Those feelings that I didn't want to deal with at this time. Just because I don't want to deal with them, doesn't mean they aren't there or coming up. They will show up again I'm sure. Now hopefully that emptiness that I've been binging on instead will subside for a time and I can refocus on weight loss and eating healthier. Not so many treats! Maybe in the meantime I can look into those feelings of emptiness etc and heal them. It's a journey, it's my life.
There was underlying drama going on at my family's dinner. My sister told me some info that was happening. And there was the ongoing untalked about issue with my cousin's family. I just stepped back and reminded myself - not my pony show. AJ's family.... nothing but pleasant and friendly, no surprise at either place. Lots of compliments from AJ's family on my new short hair cut - they liked it. I still like it.
Funny how even though Christmas for the last few years with AJ has been peaceful and loving and pleasant....still has me at times in the gripe of childhood feelings and fears Christmas. I know it's the childhood memories that I long to avoid and yet they linger - even with years of therapy, even with total understanding of them/what happened, even with knowing one Christmas is not the memories of childhood Christmas, even with the joys of being with AJ and good Christmases...... I think this year it was the trigger of my change in eating and food that caused Christmas pasts to come up. Hence the deep desire to just stay home and avoid any place with festivities, eating and food. I didn't want to look at how I looked or what I ate. I still feel my foods overall were / are peaceful and my choices are content and peaceful - so that means, it was just the memories I was struggling with I think. I will have to meditate on this a bit. See what comes up.
Stress over food at these things is still going on as I'm learning. I know this, but it still was ... not really a challenge, more new? untested? The desserts at AJ's family was tricky as the women make delicious treats. I didn't have any of it!! I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I want my new life decision more - even if I binged somewhat on my foods. That I think is not dealing with the emptiness within self. That place where fear of ?? and loneliness ?? still surfaces at times. Those feelings that I didn't want to deal with at this time. Just because I don't want to deal with them, doesn't mean they aren't there or coming up. They will show up again I'm sure. Now hopefully that emptiness that I've been binging on instead will subside for a time and I can refocus on weight loss and eating healthier. Not so many treats! Maybe in the meantime I can look into those feelings of emptiness etc and heal them. It's a journey, it's my life.
Friday, December 23, 2016
Quiet Drama Season
Almost Christmas time, tomorrow is Eve, and then Day. Looks like there will be a bit of snow tomorrow morning but then it will be good for both days. So that means driving to my cousin's place for Eve, and AJ's family for Day. Best is the Eve, not that it's my family but because Jax can come with. AJ's family is 46 this year - so Jax is not invited. It's an hour drive there and then another hour drive home. Jax should be fine, he's young, has good 'hold', and we won't be gone for long.
I have my treats to bring with me to both places, and feel I have no desire to go off plan. Going off is the worse idea - at least for me. I would have such a horrible time then getting back on track if I did. Besides, I know this is a life change - one that I want to do. I find that I am doing well and peaceful on it.
Speaking of which... I see a social worker, but I also every once in a while see another worker. She works more in the energy realm. I saw her the other day and talked about my feelings of being down but fine. She explained that what was going on with me was I was bored. Just plain bored, and that was normal. I wasn't having drama in my life. I wasn't FEEDING the drama, I wasn't creating any drama either. My food is very peaceful, I am good with it, and not feeling stressed over my choices. It's what I have longed for, for so long. Doesn't mean I don't think every once in a while of wanting a something - but really, most 'somethings' I can create and have. My life doesn't have any drama (at least at the moment) and that's again what I want. I just desire a peaceful, calm, light, enjoyable life. One where food doesn't control my life. What a graceful Christmas gift.
So being bored means - life is normal. Hum. She laughed and said I could create drama if I wanted..... NO, I don't want it. I'll take the boring normal. It's something I've never had most of my life, so this is very new and different. I'm guessing in time I will find a peaceful way thru and start doing that which I'm drawn to do. She said at the moment just watch the drama around, and if I just want to sit and stare at a tree - then do it. I shall be at family and watch the drama! ha ha ha. Actually I don't see either family having much drama - neither really have it, they all get along, even the 46!
Tonight we have some neighbours over for dinner. Simply shepperd's pie, green bean salad, peppers and jello with berries. No mashed potatoes - mashed cauliflower.
Wishing all a quiet, peaceful, drama-free Christmas Season. Til after Christmas.
Ta
I have my treats to bring with me to both places, and feel I have no desire to go off plan. Going off is the worse idea - at least for me. I would have such a horrible time then getting back on track if I did. Besides, I know this is a life change - one that I want to do. I find that I am doing well and peaceful on it.
Speaking of which... I see a social worker, but I also every once in a while see another worker. She works more in the energy realm. I saw her the other day and talked about my feelings of being down but fine. She explained that what was going on with me was I was bored. Just plain bored, and that was normal. I wasn't having drama in my life. I wasn't FEEDING the drama, I wasn't creating any drama either. My food is very peaceful, I am good with it, and not feeling stressed over my choices. It's what I have longed for, for so long. Doesn't mean I don't think every once in a while of wanting a something - but really, most 'somethings' I can create and have. My life doesn't have any drama (at least at the moment) and that's again what I want. I just desire a peaceful, calm, light, enjoyable life. One where food doesn't control my life. What a graceful Christmas gift.
So being bored means - life is normal. Hum. She laughed and said I could create drama if I wanted..... NO, I don't want it. I'll take the boring normal. It's something I've never had most of my life, so this is very new and different. I'm guessing in time I will find a peaceful way thru and start doing that which I'm drawn to do. She said at the moment just watch the drama around, and if I just want to sit and stare at a tree - then do it. I shall be at family and watch the drama! ha ha ha. Actually I don't see either family having much drama - neither really have it, they all get along, even the 46!
Tonight we have some neighbours over for dinner. Simply shepperd's pie, green bean salad, peppers and jello with berries. No mashed potatoes - mashed cauliflower.
Wishing all a quiet, peaceful, drama-free Christmas Season. Til after Christmas.
Ta
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Bake Off
I did it. I got the baking done. Got up early, had flax/chia/hemp/protein powder mixed with hot water and a bit of almond milk for breakfast, and tea. Then read my emails, and got ready. Had my recipes planned out, started at 10am. Worked until 3pm with all the baking.
Also had lunch between too. Turkey sausage, stemmed cabbage, kale microgreens and tea.
Made baby finger almond prints. (instead of thumb prints as they were smaller, and minus the jam - wanted to freeze some, will add the jam as I have them), then Protein Bread, Spinach Bread, Lupin Muffins. Bottom one is lunch.
After lunch:
Hard Boiled Eggs, Pancakes (that tiny, tiny black dot is AJ's pancake.... he was so thrilled when I told him that's what he got! ha ha), Flax/chia Breakfast bars, and lastly Forgotten Cookies - aka Meringues - Caramel Flavour.
That's me working away!
Best thing that happened - all what I made turned out delicious!!! A lot of times things sound good, but once I make them, I don't like the taste. Not the case with these things. I was so pleased with the results. Will have to make these things again.
After all this, I need a rest.... but it was time to walk Jax, and I had an appointment to go to at 630pm. More on that another time. I'm a happy baker.
Also had lunch between too. Turkey sausage, stemmed cabbage, kale microgreens and tea.
Made baby finger almond prints. (instead of thumb prints as they were smaller, and minus the jam - wanted to freeze some, will add the jam as I have them), then Protein Bread, Spinach Bread, Lupin Muffins. Bottom one is lunch.
After lunch:
Hard Boiled Eggs, Pancakes (that tiny, tiny black dot is AJ's pancake.... he was so thrilled when I told him that's what he got! ha ha), Flax/chia Breakfast bars, and lastly Forgotten Cookies - aka Meringues - Caramel Flavour.
That's me working away!
Best thing that happened - all what I made turned out delicious!!! A lot of times things sound good, but once I make them, I don't like the taste. Not the case with these things. I was so pleased with the results. Will have to make these things again.
After all this, I need a rest.... but it was time to walk Jax, and I had an appointment to go to at 630pm. More on that another time. I'm a happy baker.
Monday, December 19, 2016
Monday's Joys
I'm feeling better. I think it was the prescription pills I was on for my face (given to me by my family doctor for acne. I'm 53 and I get pimples! ha ha). My face has cleared up though, so that's good. Hopefully I won't have to go on them again.
I never did get to the baking yesterday.....3 snow shovelings and a drive in a blizzard to get a coffee and safflower seeds! I'm fed up with those birds eating everything. They hate safflower seeds. I put it out and after a few weeks they usually are gone for a long while. Was actually very busy yesterday. Energy is up too. Shoveling, cleaning, changing the bedding, laundry, driving in a blizzard, cooked dinner, looked up recipes (favorite peaceful hobby) ... I wonder if I will be able to get exercising into these days too.
Those birds have disappeared this afternoon... like family when there's no food and drink left. The safflower seeds are working their magic.
This morning we both had physio. New appointment. Spent the time doing intake - almost 1 hour, only on my shoulders/neck issues - next intake on my hips/legs issues. Then work on the plan decided. Will start first week on January 2017. AJ gets to work on his left shoulder and left leg.
Breakfast was a quick shake. Lunch - because I had to go back for another appointment with the social worker, was a protein bar and then because I was still hungry some miracle noodles and a scoop of salmon cream cheese, tea. Dinner was stemmed cabbage, Sobey's chicken, bit of cauliflower, jello and tea. Snack before bed - probably a heated protein drink.
Tomorrow - going to aim for that baking again. Have no plans to go anywhere until 4pm, and there's suppose to be no snow. Wish me luck!
I never did get to the baking yesterday.....3 snow shovelings and a drive in a blizzard to get a coffee and safflower seeds! I'm fed up with those birds eating everything. They hate safflower seeds. I put it out and after a few weeks they usually are gone for a long while. Was actually very busy yesterday. Energy is up too. Shoveling, cleaning, changing the bedding, laundry, driving in a blizzard, cooked dinner, looked up recipes (favorite peaceful hobby) ... I wonder if I will be able to get exercising into these days too.
Those birds have disappeared this afternoon... like family when there's no food and drink left. The safflower seeds are working their magic.
This morning we both had physio. New appointment. Spent the time doing intake - almost 1 hour, only on my shoulders/neck issues - next intake on my hips/legs issues. Then work on the plan decided. Will start first week on January 2017. AJ gets to work on his left shoulder and left leg.
Breakfast was a quick shake. Lunch - because I had to go back for another appointment with the social worker, was a protein bar and then because I was still hungry some miracle noodles and a scoop of salmon cream cheese, tea. Dinner was stemmed cabbage, Sobey's chicken, bit of cauliflower, jello and tea. Snack before bed - probably a heated protein drink.
Tomorrow - going to aim for that baking again. Have no plans to go anywhere until 4pm, and there's suppose to be no snow. Wish me luck!
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Spicy
Found a recipe for '''chili''. Made with stewing beef and ground beef. Turned out well - per AJ. He enjoyed it. Unfortunately it's not for me. 😱 Too much cayenne. But then again, any cayenne is usually too much for me. I tried to keep it very light, guess it didn't happen. I'm one who more and more just like plan favour. I do want favour, but just can't take the spicy anymore. Good thing AJ loves spicy.
So, for dinner I had left over drumsticks and stemmed cabbage. Also made a chia/flax muffin and from the ONS store I found No Carb Beanit peanut butter - delicious, with a bit of jam. Jello and tea for the ending.
Breakfast today to a warmed up pancake (have to make more of them, excellent to keep in the freezer), some low fat turkey bacon, hot 'french vanilla' protein shake and tea. Was hungry after 1 hour of shoveling all that snow. Lunch was chia muffin (Beanit PB and Jam added), tea and 'split pea' soup.
Tomorrow for breakfast - planning on hot cereal of chia/flax. Found a recipe for it, will try it out.
As you can guess, I'm working on that fiber plan! And trying to remember the water.... Not too much cheese lately. That's good. I found a recipe for no guilt brownies - basically with egg whites. Haven't decided if I will make it yet. Though the recipe for meringue seems ok. I'm really working at keeping things on the Phase 1 plan. Using that more then making Phase 2 meals / recipes.
Considering it was to snow all day, I just needed to shovel this morning. Thankfully it was nice and sunny the rest of the day. There has been a bit of flakes coming down tonight - they say we might get more tomorrow. I'm for the snow skipping us. That way I can really focus on cooking / baking instead. Seems when I need to shovel, it just wipes me out for hours and I just don't have the energy (or mood) to cook a lot. The vitamins Dr B suggested are helping, just not all that much. I do get things like shoveling and house cleaning done, just not the cooking. My shoulders are painful from the shoveling - will need to get a massage to help that. Legs still ache, though that's where I think the vitamins are helping the most, they aren't as bad as they were before. At least I'm not crying over the pain anymore.
Spent some time wrapping AJ's presents. Jax and the cats don't get their presents wrapped. Jax was very interested in what I was hiding in my hands. Hence his stocking is higher up. ha ha.
Plan tomorrow - bake!
So, for dinner I had left over drumsticks and stemmed cabbage. Also made a chia/flax muffin and from the ONS store I found No Carb Beanit peanut butter - delicious, with a bit of jam. Jello and tea for the ending.
Breakfast today to a warmed up pancake (have to make more of them, excellent to keep in the freezer), some low fat turkey bacon, hot 'french vanilla' protein shake and tea. Was hungry after 1 hour of shoveling all that snow. Lunch was chia muffin (Beanit PB and Jam added), tea and 'split pea' soup.
Tomorrow for breakfast - planning on hot cereal of chia/flax. Found a recipe for it, will try it out.
As you can guess, I'm working on that fiber plan! And trying to remember the water.... Not too much cheese lately. That's good. I found a recipe for no guilt brownies - basically with egg whites. Haven't decided if I will make it yet. Though the recipe for meringue seems ok. I'm really working at keeping things on the Phase 1 plan. Using that more then making Phase 2 meals / recipes.
Considering it was to snow all day, I just needed to shovel this morning. Thankfully it was nice and sunny the rest of the day. There has been a bit of flakes coming down tonight - they say we might get more tomorrow. I'm for the snow skipping us. That way I can really focus on cooking / baking instead. Seems when I need to shovel, it just wipes me out for hours and I just don't have the energy (or mood) to cook a lot. The vitamins Dr B suggested are helping, just not all that much. I do get things like shoveling and house cleaning done, just not the cooking. My shoulders are painful from the shoveling - will need to get a massage to help that. Legs still ache, though that's where I think the vitamins are helping the most, they aren't as bad as they were before. At least I'm not crying over the pain anymore.
Spent some time wrapping AJ's presents. Jax and the cats don't get their presents wrapped. Jax was very interested in what I was hiding in my hands. Hence his stocking is higher up. ha ha.
Plan tomorrow - bake!
Thursday, December 15, 2016
No More!
It's only December 15, 2016 and I'm finished with all this shoveling! Was out 3 times so far today - after this going out again for another round. Apparently Friday and Saturday are snow again too. You'd think I'd lose weight with all this shoveling. Especially since I've stopped the cheese! Ha ha. Well, not stopped cheese, just eased up on it.
Thought too I was nuts. At 745am this morning, it was clear, so I quickly shoveled out the car etc, got showered, had egg whites, chia muffin, turkey bacon for breakfast (AJ made it, the wonderful hubby he is) and ran out the door as snow started again - had to have blood work, and thought I'd go to art group. As I drove to the lab, the snow got worse. Thankfully I had an appointment for the lab, so I was in and out fast. Decided to skip art group, went to Wal-Mart instead. Really needed a warm hat, and a bit of food. Found lots of celery for $1.00, among other things. And a furry, warm red hat.
It was a blizzard as I made my way to the gas station and home. Basically guessed where the road was. Thankfully made it safely home, to shovel again.
Had a protein bar. Later lunch was broccoli slaw with some turkey slices. Out to shovel again.
Dinner tonight is Taco salad. Looking forward to that (after shoveling).
Those starlings (birds) have found the feeders again. I thought they went south for the winter. Going to need to get some safflower seeds I guess. They don't like those.
So, I have decided - No More Starlings (or blackbirds) at the feeders. And No More Snow for the rest of the winter season. Yeah, I don't think it will happen either.
Boy are my shoulders and arms sore. Remember lift with the knees.
Thought too I was nuts. At 745am this morning, it was clear, so I quickly shoveled out the car etc, got showered, had egg whites, chia muffin, turkey bacon for breakfast (AJ made it, the wonderful hubby he is) and ran out the door as snow started again - had to have blood work, and thought I'd go to art group. As I drove to the lab, the snow got worse. Thankfully I had an appointment for the lab, so I was in and out fast. Decided to skip art group, went to Wal-Mart instead. Really needed a warm hat, and a bit of food. Found lots of celery for $1.00, among other things. And a furry, warm red hat.
It was a blizzard as I made my way to the gas station and home. Basically guessed where the road was. Thankfully made it safely home, to shovel again.
Had a protein bar. Later lunch was broccoli slaw with some turkey slices. Out to shovel again.
Dinner tonight is Taco salad. Looking forward to that (after shoveling).
Those starlings (birds) have found the feeders again. I thought they went south for the winter. Going to need to get some safflower seeds I guess. They don't like those.
So, I have decided - No More Starlings (or blackbirds) at the feeders. And No More Snow for the rest of the winter season. Yeah, I don't think it will happen either.
Boy are my shoulders and arms sore. Remember lift with the knees.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Cheese Sins
I have a confession.... apparently I'm having too much cheese. I saw Dr B yesterday at Dr Poon's. I AM down 2.3 pounds (2 lbs of fat). After discussing the foods, we figured it is the cheese that's holding me back. Then again, I was eating cheese basically 2-3 times a day, pretty much every day. The eggs / egg whites are fine. I am to also to add more fiber (having trouble getting enough of that), more water, and less salt.
Dr B had more time to talk today, so that was good. I got a better understanding (hence less cheese, and my dairy issues) and plan for working at weight loss. I also actually had time to talk to her about feeling down. She asked about my energy level (blah, down too). She suggested some pills that they sell to help. I'm open to trying them. Especially if they will help me feel better. They mostly are vitamins (b6, b12, mag, potassium, folic acid, cq10). Looking forward to that helping with the wanting / doing exercising. Might even help my leg pains?
We (AJ and I) went shopping at Walmart after. Walmart up here is more peaceful then down in Thornhill. Afterwards we went for lunch at Wendy's. Had a bunless burger and bunless chicken. To be fair - I did have about 5 fries from AJ, and a sip of his Iced Tea. After we had Tea from Tim's and I had a seasame halva from the Poon store. AJ had a muffin. Yeah, I was very hungry. Only had a slice of protein bread with a bit of sf jam and tea for breakfast. Dinner last night was left over casserole (rest went into the freezer) and broccoli - no salt.
I got a high fiber hot cereal from the Poon store for breakfast today, with 2 breakfast sausages (Poon again). Lunch - 'split pea' soup and a small protein bar. Dinner - omelette with broccoli and chia (no cheese!) and leftover green bean salad. Maybe a hot protein drink instead of tea.
Going to make some chia/flax muffins tomorrow and maybe some flax wraps. All of that is going to require me to drink more water.
Ahh, my cheese sins are over!
Dr B had more time to talk today, so that was good. I got a better understanding (hence less cheese, and my dairy issues) and plan for working at weight loss. I also actually had time to talk to her about feeling down. She asked about my energy level (blah, down too). She suggested some pills that they sell to help. I'm open to trying them. Especially if they will help me feel better. They mostly are vitamins (b6, b12, mag, potassium, folic acid, cq10). Looking forward to that helping with the wanting / doing exercising. Might even help my leg pains?
We (AJ and I) went shopping at Walmart after. Walmart up here is more peaceful then down in Thornhill. Afterwards we went for lunch at Wendy's. Had a bunless burger and bunless chicken. To be fair - I did have about 5 fries from AJ, and a sip of his Iced Tea. After we had Tea from Tim's and I had a seasame halva from the Poon store. AJ had a muffin. Yeah, I was very hungry. Only had a slice of protein bread with a bit of sf jam and tea for breakfast. Dinner last night was left over casserole (rest went into the freezer) and broccoli - no salt.
I got a high fiber hot cereal from the Poon store for breakfast today, with 2 breakfast sausages (Poon again). Lunch - 'split pea' soup and a small protein bar. Dinner - omelette with broccoli and chia (no cheese!) and leftover green bean salad. Maybe a hot protein drink instead of tea.
Going to make some chia/flax muffins tomorrow and maybe some flax wraps. All of that is going to require me to drink more water.
Ahh, my cheese sins are over!
Monday, December 12, 2016
Monday's Rambles
The weekend was busy.....though it's not like there was much happening. Mostly a lot of SNOW! Ugh. Guess who gets to shovel. And shovel, and shovel. I've had enough of the shoveling already. And it's only December. The weather gets to me too, last few weeks I've been stiff and struggling with walking Jax. It's like my body is lead - so hard to move. There's no lightness in it. By night time my right leg is so painful I could cry. Sometimes walking Jax, I wonder how I'm going to get home because of being so sore and stiff. The shoveling doesn't help. Today I fell twice and slipped numerous times walking Jax. I don't even want to eat chocolate because it won't stop the pain.
Speaking of eating - I've been doing well. I got keto sticks, I'm monitoring and I'm good in ketos. Hopefully the weight loss will show too. I'm still on plan. On Saturday we went to my mothers - she's well and active as ever - I brought an egg pancake, had some chicken, cheese, some pork and a few veggies available. She never noticed my short hair, or any weight loss on me - guess in a way that's better as I don't have to explain anything.
Yesterday we had company for dinner. Made a casserole - chicken, turkey sausage, mushrooms, cauliflower and I added spinach. Also, a green bean salad, and broccoli, for dessert - jello with a few blackberries. Today I had 2 spoons of last night's dinner before shoveling, then an omelette for breakfast, and a bar for lunch - just didn't have it in me to eat anything else. Tonight for dinner (not last night's dinner again, think I will freeze that) but my favorite famous low carb 'split pea' soup. I found the recipe years ago, and still make it as it's so good. Especially since when we were in Pickering I remembered Bruno's Meats and thought my chances of getting a smoked turkey thigh would be good. It was!!! I got two. The best way to make the recipe is to have smoked turkey - which, surprisingly is very hard to find (at least around here). I'm making it between writing this. Looking so forward for it tonight......maybe I will make some protein bread to go along with it. Oh, excellent idea.
Think I hurt my right foot and hip more with that last fall. I feel like my foot is swelling a bit. As it is I'm almost waddling when I walk already with the pain of that right leg on a good day.
Yeah, I'm not too up today. Noticed lately I'm not happy? joyful? excited? light? I not sure what, I am mostly content. I'm happy with my choices and decision of weight loss, my way of doing it, my foods, my family, my home, basically my health. I'm not depressed, I guess just a bit down. For no reason that I can relate to. Might be the season - not enough light outside? Christmas? Snow? I don't have the drive to exercise YET. Though I clean the house, walk Jax, and shovel, shovel, shovel. Maybe not enough dopamine hits. AJ says it's looking like snow/not good driving at Christmas Eve or Day. That means not seeing my family or his this Christmas if I don't drive. Sobey's had a turkey on sale last week - looks like I'll make that for us. Today that sounds like the best idea.
Talked with Wendy today - she was a patient at RH when I was there, different program though. Nice woman, enjoyed her company. Plan to visit her in the summer, she lives near St Jacob's Market. I thought we could go - take Jax with - see her/her husband, go to the market and stay overnight at a hotel. Make it a mini vacation. Would be nice. Something to look forward to.
Tomorrow we go to Dr Poon. Even though I know I've been eating on plan, and in ketos - I am nervous. Optimistic that there will be a weight loss. If not, well, I will continue working on it. Hope there's no snow to shovel.
Think that's about all my tired, sore, soul has to write today. Off to make that protein bread before it gets too late. Will let you know what happens tomorrow in a day or so.
Speaking of eating - I've been doing well. I got keto sticks, I'm monitoring and I'm good in ketos. Hopefully the weight loss will show too. I'm still on plan. On Saturday we went to my mothers - she's well and active as ever - I brought an egg pancake, had some chicken, cheese, some pork and a few veggies available. She never noticed my short hair, or any weight loss on me - guess in a way that's better as I don't have to explain anything.
Yesterday we had company for dinner. Made a casserole - chicken, turkey sausage, mushrooms, cauliflower and I added spinach. Also, a green bean salad, and broccoli, for dessert - jello with a few blackberries. Today I had 2 spoons of last night's dinner before shoveling, then an omelette for breakfast, and a bar for lunch - just didn't have it in me to eat anything else. Tonight for dinner (not last night's dinner again, think I will freeze that) but my favorite famous low carb 'split pea' soup. I found the recipe years ago, and still make it as it's so good. Especially since when we were in Pickering I remembered Bruno's Meats and thought my chances of getting a smoked turkey thigh would be good. It was!!! I got two. The best way to make the recipe is to have smoked turkey - which, surprisingly is very hard to find (at least around here). I'm making it between writing this. Looking so forward for it tonight......maybe I will make some protein bread to go along with it. Oh, excellent idea.
Think I hurt my right foot and hip more with that last fall. I feel like my foot is swelling a bit. As it is I'm almost waddling when I walk already with the pain of that right leg on a good day.
Yeah, I'm not too up today. Noticed lately I'm not happy? joyful? excited? light? I not sure what, I am mostly content. I'm happy with my choices and decision of weight loss, my way of doing it, my foods, my family, my home, basically my health. I'm not depressed, I guess just a bit down. For no reason that I can relate to. Might be the season - not enough light outside? Christmas? Snow? I don't have the drive to exercise YET. Though I clean the house, walk Jax, and shovel, shovel, shovel. Maybe not enough dopamine hits. AJ says it's looking like snow/not good driving at Christmas Eve or Day. That means not seeing my family or his this Christmas if I don't drive. Sobey's had a turkey on sale last week - looks like I'll make that for us. Today that sounds like the best idea.
Talked with Wendy today - she was a patient at RH when I was there, different program though. Nice woman, enjoyed her company. Plan to visit her in the summer, she lives near St Jacob's Market. I thought we could go - take Jax with - see her/her husband, go to the market and stay overnight at a hotel. Make it a mini vacation. Would be nice. Something to look forward to.
Tomorrow we go to Dr Poon. Even though I know I've been eating on plan, and in ketos - I am nervous. Optimistic that there will be a weight loss. If not, well, I will continue working on it. Hope there's no snow to shovel.
Think that's about all my tired, sore, soul has to write today. Off to make that protein bread before it gets too late. Will let you know what happens tomorrow in a day or so.
Thursday, December 8, 2016
A Skulk
I may be a Vixen, but I'm not in a skulk (or a leash.... oh, that's kinky)! ha ha ha
The wonderful world of Google says a group of foxes is a skulk or a leash. AJ and I were talking of foxes because we have many running around the Cove here this fall/winter. Actually lately I haven't seen any - which apparently works for me and Jax!!
There are fox tales going around. AJ came back from a meeting where a woman was saying her granddaughter (about 4-6 yrs) was at the front door screaming because a fox was at the door. The woman went to the door, saw the fox going around the house, she went to the back patio door, saw the fox, and it went to the front door again! It wanted to get in.
Other one, my friend Joanne was walking Teddy and Chole (both Havanese and Teddy is half brother with my Jax). She turned around and the fox was following her and the little dogs. She stamped her foot, tossed a stick, it still wouldn't back off. Then a person in her car came up and honked the car horn until it left - Joanne said she was almost home, and the car woman followed her to make sure they got home safely.
So I'm now walking, and taking Jax out carrying an air horn. I hope to never run into a fox! Thing is, there was a fox coming around our bird feeder for quite a few weeks. I even was out there one day with Jax when it sat and looked at us. I didn't think much of it as Jax was on the deck locked safely there with me. The one neighbour has a big boxer - rarely out and now a new neighbour moved in on the other side of us...with a big golden lab. So Jax is between two big dogs. I wonder if that's helping - haven't seen the fox since the new neighbour moved in. Or they are hibernating.
Yesterday I started back on the eggs. Made up pancakes, waffles, muffins to freeze. Had grill cheese for dinner (waffles with cheese in the middle) added lettuce and ketchup in it too. Breakfast was an omelette, and Lunch was a grill cheese too.
Today:
Breakfast - shake with hemp seeds
Lunch - cabbage salad and chicken and egg muffin
Dinner - salmon, green beans, broccolinie..... and just wanted something - jello.
Tea was in all that too.
Tomorrow will have more eggs again. Not doing the egg fast per sec, more increasing the eggs.
Snow has started tonight. There's a snow storm coming tonight / tomorrow. I hope it will be cleared by Saturday morning as we plan to see my mother.
The wonderful world of Google says a group of foxes is a skulk or a leash. AJ and I were talking of foxes because we have many running around the Cove here this fall/winter. Actually lately I haven't seen any - which apparently works for me and Jax!!
There are fox tales going around. AJ came back from a meeting where a woman was saying her granddaughter (about 4-6 yrs) was at the front door screaming because a fox was at the door. The woman went to the door, saw the fox going around the house, she went to the back patio door, saw the fox, and it went to the front door again! It wanted to get in.
Other one, my friend Joanne was walking Teddy and Chole (both Havanese and Teddy is half brother with my Jax). She turned around and the fox was following her and the little dogs. She stamped her foot, tossed a stick, it still wouldn't back off. Then a person in her car came up and honked the car horn until it left - Joanne said she was almost home, and the car woman followed her to make sure they got home safely.
So I'm now walking, and taking Jax out carrying an air horn. I hope to never run into a fox! Thing is, there was a fox coming around our bird feeder for quite a few weeks. I even was out there one day with Jax when it sat and looked at us. I didn't think much of it as Jax was on the deck locked safely there with me. The one neighbour has a big boxer - rarely out and now a new neighbour moved in on the other side of us...with a big golden lab. So Jax is between two big dogs. I wonder if that's helping - haven't seen the fox since the new neighbour moved in. Or they are hibernating.
Yesterday I started back on the eggs. Made up pancakes, waffles, muffins to freeze. Had grill cheese for dinner (waffles with cheese in the middle) added lettuce and ketchup in it too. Breakfast was an omelette, and Lunch was a grill cheese too.
Today:
Breakfast - shake with hemp seeds
Lunch - cabbage salad and chicken and egg muffin
Dinner - salmon, green beans, broccolinie..... and just wanted something - jello.
Tea was in all that too.
Tomorrow will have more eggs again. Not doing the egg fast per sec, more increasing the eggs.
Snow has started tonight. There's a snow storm coming tonight / tomorrow. I hope it will be cleared by Saturday morning as we plan to see my mother.
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
On The Road Again
Cars.... what a blessing. A few months ago we needed to bring our car in because of the service recall. We decided to go to where we bought it which is close to my mother's place - thought it was a good idea. Called them, confirmed it would take 4 hours, including oil change, tire change. Booked for 1030am, by 1230pm they called and said the car wasn't in yet. Kinda blew at them. We got the car at 2pm - advising us that they ''needed to order the service recall part''. What??? We booked weeks ahead so it could be done.
Anyway, we agreed and yesterday we brought the car down again - even though mom wasn't going to be home. Yeah, she went partying. We got there at 1030am and I clearly stated we needed the car at 230pm as it took us 2 hours to get back home. We had to pick up Jax at 5pm. Service man offered us a rental car.... yes, that would work especially since AJ uses a walker. I asked for new wipers too.
We went for lunch - Moxies. Excellent! I had the Lettuce Bun Burger and veggies. Was delicious, so happy for my decision to go there. Then to the mall, basically walked around, found a small gift for AJ. By 200pm we were ready, and went back to the dealer...... Yup. He looked at me, told me the car hadn't even been brought in, it wouldn't be ready until later then next day, which was why he gave us the rental. REALLY! After a bit of blasting on our part, and wanting the wipers free, they found two techs to work on the car, but still would be 2 hours. Too late to pick up Jax. Too long a drive. We decided we would stay at a hotel and they promised us the car in the morning.
I had 1/2 protein bar at Tim's as we discussed our options. Had the other half later that night. We decided on Holiday Express Inn in Whitby - they had a room. We picked up 1/4 chicken and kale salad from Superstore. Realized when we were in the room, that this was the hotel where we spent our night after our wedding. And again, it was a great hotel. Offered us all the stuff we needed at the last mintue - toothpaste, shaving cream, razor etc.
Breakfast included was 2 spoons of egg, 1 hardboiled egg, 1 bacon strip, tea. (for me). Got our car, they tried to charge us for the wipers. Got on the road early. We needed to get back up to Barrie as the funeral for our friend Charles was this morning. We got back for the reception. They did have his ashes there, so we got to say goodbye too.
I could have eaten all those cookies. It hit me hard that I was never going to see him again, hug him again, laugh with him again. I started crying, especially when I hugged Anne. I didn't want to deal with the uncomfortable emotions. I had taken 2 eggs with me from breakfast, and had a few veggies. That helped. I did know too that I choose not to eat those foods.
Jax was happy when we picked him up. He's spent most of the afternoon/evening sleeping. Thankfully our neighbour had come over to take care of our cats. I was very pleased with my choices of foods, even though I used acceptable protein bars, and the foods had a lot of salt. I didn't eat things that weren't acceptable. For me though, the bars are too much - as in, they kick me out of keto. Still a blessing to have for emergencies. Showed that I was able to make it thru unplanned meals/stays etc. Glad I'm home, and tomorrow start back on my egg plan. Not really the fast, just more eggs like the first week. I got keto sticks too to help me see where I am on the carbs. I imagine I'm up in weight, BUT the blessing is - I stayed on track! Other times, something like that would have given me the excuse to just eat, or skip until getting home. I'm pleased with my choices and now know keeping emergency supplies in my purse is a good idea. Need to remember too - this is a life change for me, and things happen - can I stay on track? If so, the weight will do what it does, and I can be happy that I know my decisions are wise.
As for the car...... next time there is a service recall... it's going to be easier to just buy a new car! ha ha ha 😃🚙
Anyway, we agreed and yesterday we brought the car down again - even though mom wasn't going to be home. Yeah, she went partying. We got there at 1030am and I clearly stated we needed the car at 230pm as it took us 2 hours to get back home. We had to pick up Jax at 5pm. Service man offered us a rental car.... yes, that would work especially since AJ uses a walker. I asked for new wipers too.
We went for lunch - Moxies. Excellent! I had the Lettuce Bun Burger and veggies. Was delicious, so happy for my decision to go there. Then to the mall, basically walked around, found a small gift for AJ. By 200pm we were ready, and went back to the dealer...... Yup. He looked at me, told me the car hadn't even been brought in, it wouldn't be ready until later then next day, which was why he gave us the rental. REALLY! After a bit of blasting on our part, and wanting the wipers free, they found two techs to work on the car, but still would be 2 hours. Too late to pick up Jax. Too long a drive. We decided we would stay at a hotel and they promised us the car in the morning.
I had 1/2 protein bar at Tim's as we discussed our options. Had the other half later that night. We decided on Holiday Express Inn in Whitby - they had a room. We picked up 1/4 chicken and kale salad from Superstore. Realized when we were in the room, that this was the hotel where we spent our night after our wedding. And again, it was a great hotel. Offered us all the stuff we needed at the last mintue - toothpaste, shaving cream, razor etc.
Breakfast included was 2 spoons of egg, 1 hardboiled egg, 1 bacon strip, tea. (for me). Got our car, they tried to charge us for the wipers. Got on the road early. We needed to get back up to Barrie as the funeral for our friend Charles was this morning. We got back for the reception. They did have his ashes there, so we got to say goodbye too.
I could have eaten all those cookies. It hit me hard that I was never going to see him again, hug him again, laugh with him again. I started crying, especially when I hugged Anne. I didn't want to deal with the uncomfortable emotions. I had taken 2 eggs with me from breakfast, and had a few veggies. That helped. I did know too that I choose not to eat those foods.
Jax was happy when we picked him up. He's spent most of the afternoon/evening sleeping. Thankfully our neighbour had come over to take care of our cats. I was very pleased with my choices of foods, even though I used acceptable protein bars, and the foods had a lot of salt. I didn't eat things that weren't acceptable. For me though, the bars are too much - as in, they kick me out of keto. Still a blessing to have for emergencies. Showed that I was able to make it thru unplanned meals/stays etc. Glad I'm home, and tomorrow start back on my egg plan. Not really the fast, just more eggs like the first week. I got keto sticks too to help me see where I am on the carbs. I imagine I'm up in weight, BUT the blessing is - I stayed on track! Other times, something like that would have given me the excuse to just eat, or skip until getting home. I'm pleased with my choices and now know keeping emergency supplies in my purse is a good idea. Need to remember too - this is a life change for me, and things happen - can I stay on track? If so, the weight will do what it does, and I can be happy that I know my decisions are wise.
As for the car...... next time there is a service recall... it's going to be easier to just buy a new car! ha ha ha 😃🚙
Sunday, December 4, 2016
Biting off Emotions
Anger. Worry. Upset. Knew it! Could use that crunchy foods. Sigh.
I got an email from my sister letting me know that our mother fainted and was in the hospital. She was messengering me about it.... but I'm rarely on my cell phone, and not on Facebook that much. I basically live life and add a computer into it, instead of live on my computer and visit the outside. When I called her, she quickly advised me her cell phone was dying. I asked if mother was ok - yes. And then asked if anything happened again, please CALL me, on the home phone first as, again I don't keep my cell phone on or near me. She said ok and that they were going home now.
I have issues with my sister. We just don't communicate well. I want to talk, but we somehow butt heads when we do - especially when things are stressful. Will be fun when our mother dies!!!! Not.
I eventually found her messages on FB. Basically they found a heart mummur and she's getting older (mom's 83). I have a feeling of what's coming, and even knowing that, it's hard to keep emotional anxiety in control. I did my best, and I know my sister did her best. I have FB messaged her an apology - hopefully that will help. Remember to breathe....and sigh. And let go.
I was thinking the other day that I did well when I ate more eggs and a bit of cheese - wasn't as hungry. I thought I'd go back to it, then looked up some egg recipes and found, of all things, a blog where she did an Egg Fast. Site number 2 that I found is here. First site was - this one. I found great recipes from them! Looking forward to trying each one. More going to re-add eggs in then to completely do the fast as I'm just starting out and haven't stalled.
Monday AJ and I were to go to Moxies in Pickering. We have to bring the car in for a recall and need back down there as they ordered the part. Moxies has a lettuce burger. Now I will need to rethink my lunch/snack foods as we will probably go see my mom. IF she stays home and doesn't go out like she originally planned. Knowing my mother, she will go out to her club's Christmas party! We did originally plan to go down this coming Saturday. She likes to party. Good for her. And this blog write up helped me - don't need those chips now.
I got an email from my sister letting me know that our mother fainted and was in the hospital. She was messengering me about it.... but I'm rarely on my cell phone, and not on Facebook that much. I basically live life and add a computer into it, instead of live on my computer and visit the outside. When I called her, she quickly advised me her cell phone was dying. I asked if mother was ok - yes. And then asked if anything happened again, please CALL me, on the home phone first as, again I don't keep my cell phone on or near me. She said ok and that they were going home now.
I have issues with my sister. We just don't communicate well. I want to talk, but we somehow butt heads when we do - especially when things are stressful. Will be fun when our mother dies!!!! Not.
I eventually found her messages on FB. Basically they found a heart mummur and she's getting older (mom's 83). I have a feeling of what's coming, and even knowing that, it's hard to keep emotional anxiety in control. I did my best, and I know my sister did her best. I have FB messaged her an apology - hopefully that will help. Remember to breathe....and sigh. And let go.
I was thinking the other day that I did well when I ate more eggs and a bit of cheese - wasn't as hungry. I thought I'd go back to it, then looked up some egg recipes and found, of all things, a blog where she did an Egg Fast. Site number 2 that I found is here. First site was - this one. I found great recipes from them! Looking forward to trying each one. More going to re-add eggs in then to completely do the fast as I'm just starting out and haven't stalled.
Monday AJ and I were to go to Moxies in Pickering. We have to bring the car in for a recall and need back down there as they ordered the part. Moxies has a lettuce burger. Now I will need to rethink my lunch/snack foods as we will probably go see my mom. IF she stays home and doesn't go out like she originally planned. Knowing my mother, she will go out to her club's Christmas party! We did originally plan to go down this coming Saturday. She likes to party. Good for her. And this blog write up helped me - don't need those chips now.
Saturday, December 3, 2016
I'm a Vixen
I'm a Vixen.... no, not one of Santa's reindeer. When I was at art class the other day, Charlotte saw me and said she liked my new short hair cut. I mentioned that it was coloured brown with reddish tint along with the streaks. She said, of course, everyone needs a bit of red in their hair..... it makes you a Vixen. ha ha ha. Like it.
This Vixen though has been hungry lately. Not sure why. Might be nerves over the weight loss I did have and therefore wanting to eat, or might just be that week of being hungry, or the protein bars. Either way I need to watch it. I'm still on Phase 1, even though I was told I could do Phase 2. I have added the carrots and onions in. Going to make more Oopsie bread this weekend. Didn't make any this week and found I was missing something. I think that the Oopsies helps.
Started my December exercise challenge yesterday. It's every other day. Went for a massage (deep tissue one that it's relaxing, more ouch, ooo, ouch type) as my leg has been very painful for the last few weeks. Takes a while to get an appointment with Jane, she's very busy. Feels better now but body is tired.
Actually was tired all day. Also someone posted on Poon Facebook that they wanted to do a 'tapping' challenge for December. As I know about tapping, (helps with emotional release) I thought that wouldn't be a bad idea to do. So I'm up for that. I now need to find my info book on it. Not sure how she wants to do it, so I will wait and see. Might also help with the nerves/fears of weight loss and eating. Actually probably will.
Have been reading about Lupin Flour and looking for recipes. I have some as it's very low in carb. Basically looks like bread or muffin ideas. Something I think for later, need to get to the next weight loss point and appointment to make sure I'm doing well. That's part of it, I fear I'm not doing well, or going to lose it. I know I am eating on plan, but there's that voice inside that says I am having too much, or the wrong thing, or it's not right somehow, that I'm going to gain the weight etc.... I fight that more then the cravings as it's more insidious. The cravings are clear and manageable, but the dark thoughts are harder. Then I fear I have done something wrong and my weight will be up. I'm too close to where I started (at 241.5 pounds) which is too easy to get back to. So I fear the Lupin Flour muffin - even though that would be a good thing to pack and carry with me so I don't go into a craving when I'm not home.
The other day when I only had the 1/2 protein bar for lunch, I was hungry at dinner and I ate. I noticed when I was eating that I was eating fast. I just couldn't feel full. That might be where all this hunger is coming from..... I wonder as I'm typing this. I know when the body is in starvation mode it A) holds on to weight, B) wants more food because it was starving before and is afraid will again and C) takes a while to trust again. Ahhhh, light bulb. I am going to have to carry more foods/better foods with me. Have to find those portable foods and make sure I have proper meals - or at the very least, enough that rounds out to a sustainable snack.
There was a drink, able to make hot too, on the Poon FB that I tried today. Was good. I get tired of tea all the time. Use to have hot chocolate and Tim's French Vanillas, and now there's just tea. This one I made hot with almond milk, and PB2, I have some Walden's Caramel so I didn't need to add stevia. Made jammie day better. Reminds me too, that I have a recipe somewhere for Turmeric tea.
So, I'm a Vixen.... ha ha ha
This Vixen though has been hungry lately. Not sure why. Might be nerves over the weight loss I did have and therefore wanting to eat, or might just be that week of being hungry, or the protein bars. Either way I need to watch it. I'm still on Phase 1, even though I was told I could do Phase 2. I have added the carrots and onions in. Going to make more Oopsie bread this weekend. Didn't make any this week and found I was missing something. I think that the Oopsies helps.
Started my December exercise challenge yesterday. It's every other day. Went for a massage (deep tissue one that it's relaxing, more ouch, ooo, ouch type) as my leg has been very painful for the last few weeks. Takes a while to get an appointment with Jane, she's very busy. Feels better now but body is tired.
Actually was tired all day. Also someone posted on Poon Facebook that they wanted to do a 'tapping' challenge for December. As I know about tapping, (helps with emotional release) I thought that wouldn't be a bad idea to do. So I'm up for that. I now need to find my info book on it. Not sure how she wants to do it, so I will wait and see. Might also help with the nerves/fears of weight loss and eating. Actually probably will.
Have been reading about Lupin Flour and looking for recipes. I have some as it's very low in carb. Basically looks like bread or muffin ideas. Something I think for later, need to get to the next weight loss point and appointment to make sure I'm doing well. That's part of it, I fear I'm not doing well, or going to lose it. I know I am eating on plan, but there's that voice inside that says I am having too much, or the wrong thing, or it's not right somehow, that I'm going to gain the weight etc.... I fight that more then the cravings as it's more insidious. The cravings are clear and manageable, but the dark thoughts are harder. Then I fear I have done something wrong and my weight will be up. I'm too close to where I started (at 241.5 pounds) which is too easy to get back to. So I fear the Lupin Flour muffin - even though that would be a good thing to pack and carry with me so I don't go into a craving when I'm not home.
The other day when I only had the 1/2 protein bar for lunch, I was hungry at dinner and I ate. I noticed when I was eating that I was eating fast. I just couldn't feel full. That might be where all this hunger is coming from..... I wonder as I'm typing this. I know when the body is in starvation mode it A) holds on to weight, B) wants more food because it was starving before and is afraid will again and C) takes a while to trust again. Ahhhh, light bulb. I am going to have to carry more foods/better foods with me. Have to find those portable foods and make sure I have proper meals - or at the very least, enough that rounds out to a sustainable snack.
There was a drink, able to make hot too, on the Poon FB that I tried today. Was good. I get tired of tea all the time. Use to have hot chocolate and Tim's French Vanillas, and now there's just tea. This one I made hot with almond milk, and PB2, I have some Walden's Caramel so I didn't need to add stevia. Made jammie day better. Reminds me too, that I have a recipe somewhere for Turmeric tea.
So, I'm a Vixen.... ha ha ha
Thursday, December 1, 2016
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
This week I went to the hair dresser. I saw a new woman working at the shop near us, and I asked if she was busy at the moment. Nope. Thought I would get my hair trimmed as I felt awful everytime I looked in the mirror. Tammie asked what I would like done. I said, whatever - colour it, streak it, trim it, but I don't like short hair. Ended up with it coloured (brown with reddish tint), streaked blond, and very, very, very short hair. Basically only hair long on the top. I actually like it. She said it would look good, and she was right.
So, I'm able to do Phase 2 on Dr Poon. Hence, we went for lunch today at Mucho Burrito. Had the salad bowl - minus the edible bowl. Was good. Haven't figured out dinner yet, might be that other half of the protein bar and tea. Breakfast was chia pudding with granola fiber I got at the store. Need to add a bit more fiber into things.
Talked with the naturopath about weight loss, hormones, digestive system and sleep. Spent the 2 hours discussing everything on it. He will email me his thoughts and suggestions next week.
The exercise physio explained I needed to watch my right foot, as it tends to point out. So that homework is to focus on keeping my right foot pointing straight. And there are a few more exercises for me to do. I want to do the Poon facebook challenge - 6 min exercises. It's December already and I have to look them up and get them started!!!!!
I'm hungry, so I'm off to get dinner. I read a recipe in which you take the protein bar, put it in the microwave for a few seconds, nuke it, flatten it, nuke it... and you get a big cookie. Might try that. Will be good with the tea.
So, I'm able to do Phase 2 on Dr Poon. Hence, we went for lunch today at Mucho Burrito. Had the salad bowl - minus the edible bowl. Was good. Haven't figured out dinner yet, might be that other half of the protein bar and tea. Breakfast was chia pudding with granola fiber I got at the store. Need to add a bit more fiber into things.
Talked with the naturopath about weight loss, hormones, digestive system and sleep. Spent the 2 hours discussing everything on it. He will email me his thoughts and suggestions next week.
The exercise physio explained I needed to watch my right foot, as it tends to point out. So that homework is to focus on keeping my right foot pointing straight. And there are a few more exercises for me to do. I want to do the Poon facebook challenge - 6 min exercises. It's December already and I have to look them up and get them started!!!!!
I'm hungry, so I'm off to get dinner. I read a recipe in which you take the protein bar, put it in the microwave for a few seconds, nuke it, flatten it, nuke it... and you get a big cookie. Might try that. Will be good with the tea.
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Drop off
Did you think I disappeared? Not. Day one - internet issues, Day two - company all day (which fyi, was enjoyable, so glad we were able to get together for lunch.....and then dinner) Besides, if I decide to stop posting, I'd let you know.
And today I was all day at Dr Poon's office. I had a quick meeting with Dr Bartoum then physio intake, exercise plan and lastly naturopath. Last one was to be 15 mins meet and greet, then I booked for an appointment which ended up being almost 2 hours. So what happened with Dr B?
weight - 228.5 (-13 pds, down 10pds fat and 3pds water)
BMI - down 2
Fat % - down 1.6%
Fat Mass - down 10 pounds
Happy about the results.
Dr B was about 2 mins, if that. But then, I knew it would happen, and my goal is just to continue. I didn't have any questions for her anyway. She has allowed me onions and carrots now (basically phase 2, but I'm going to continue with phase 1 with bits of phase 2 like the onions and carrots)
I did get a few things at the store, like BBQ sauce, a few protein bars for emergencies. Which came in handy as I didn't have lunch with me, and had 1/2 a bar and water. Actually helped me get to dinner.
B - shake, hard boiled egg, tea
L - 1/2 cinnamon protein bar, water
D - pork steak, asparagus/mushrooms, salad and dressing, tea
S - halva bite (bought that)
Yesterday had:
B - shake
L - chicken, salad/dressing, chia muffin, tea
D - chicken, salad/dressing, tea
It's been a very long day - 1 1/2 hour drive down, 5.5 hours there, 1 1/2 hour drive home. More on it tomorrow...or Friday. Tomorrow is art and I've been missing going!! Look forward to it.
Ta
And today I was all day at Dr Poon's office. I had a quick meeting with Dr Bartoum then physio intake, exercise plan and lastly naturopath. Last one was to be 15 mins meet and greet, then I booked for an appointment which ended up being almost 2 hours. So what happened with Dr B?
weight - 228.5 (-13 pds, down 10pds fat and 3pds water)
BMI - down 2
Fat % - down 1.6%
Fat Mass - down 10 pounds
Happy about the results.
Dr B was about 2 mins, if that. But then, I knew it would happen, and my goal is just to continue. I didn't have any questions for her anyway. She has allowed me onions and carrots now (basically phase 2, but I'm going to continue with phase 1 with bits of phase 2 like the onions and carrots)
I did get a few things at the store, like BBQ sauce, a few protein bars for emergencies. Which came in handy as I didn't have lunch with me, and had 1/2 a bar and water. Actually helped me get to dinner.
B - shake, hard boiled egg, tea
L - 1/2 cinnamon protein bar, water
D - pork steak, asparagus/mushrooms, salad and dressing, tea
S - halva bite (bought that)
Yesterday had:
B - shake
L - chicken, salad/dressing, chia muffin, tea
D - chicken, salad/dressing, tea
It's been a very long day - 1 1/2 hour drive down, 5.5 hours there, 1 1/2 hour drive home. More on it tomorrow...or Friday. Tomorrow is art and I've been missing going!! Look forward to it.
Ta
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Quickie
Just needed to post a short piece today. Have to get it out of my head so it doesn't roll around in there and end up hitting a spot that will cause me to want to eat.
I'm sad. This morning as I was brushing my teeth, AJ came in and said that Bud had died yesterday. In our Cove is a photography club that we both belong to, and Bud is a member there (along with his wife, Annie). Bud was a professional photographer and a wonderful man. Annie and him were driving about 6 weeks ago when they got hit. Bud hit the windshield, etc, he was the worse of the two. I felt then he was going to die. But then we started getting reports that he was doing better, came home, before I left for RH, I heard he was in the hospital again. We got a message a few days ago that the photography club meeting was cancelled as Annie was with Bud..... and early this morning we got the email he died. My little heart is crying and sad. He was funny, and polite, a tease (loved that I had someone to joke with!), very caring, and patient with me. Willing to explain how to take a better photograph. NOT PICTURE! It was always a photograph, pictures were different. I will miss him. :(
On that there is a part that would love to eat, especially something sweet and fattening. Not going to do it. Won't bring him back, and I need to feel my sadness not eat it away. I think after this I will get dressed and ask my walking friend Anne if she'd like to go for a walk. After all it is 1:15pm.
Breakfast
B: omelette, chia bun, tea
L: nothing
D: planning for left over chicken and zucchini/mushroom bake.
Ta
I'm sad. This morning as I was brushing my teeth, AJ came in and said that Bud had died yesterday. In our Cove is a photography club that we both belong to, and Bud is a member there (along with his wife, Annie). Bud was a professional photographer and a wonderful man. Annie and him were driving about 6 weeks ago when they got hit. Bud hit the windshield, etc, he was the worse of the two. I felt then he was going to die. But then we started getting reports that he was doing better, came home, before I left for RH, I heard he was in the hospital again. We got a message a few days ago that the photography club meeting was cancelled as Annie was with Bud..... and early this morning we got the email he died. My little heart is crying and sad. He was funny, and polite, a tease (loved that I had someone to joke with!), very caring, and patient with me. Willing to explain how to take a better photograph. NOT PICTURE! It was always a photograph, pictures were different. I will miss him. :(
On that there is a part that would love to eat, especially something sweet and fattening. Not going to do it. Won't bring him back, and I need to feel my sadness not eat it away. I think after this I will get dressed and ask my walking friend Anne if she'd like to go for a walk. After all it is 1:15pm.
Breakfast
B: omelette, chia bun, tea
L: nothing
D: planning for left over chicken and zucchini/mushroom bake.
Ta
Friday, November 25, 2016
Friday Rambles
Not much to report today. Last couple of days have been quiet. Have been on track with my Poon foods. Today was:
S - chia pudding - 2 mouthfuls as it wasn't good
B - shake
L - broccoli salad and grill chicken, tea
D - zucchini/bok choy stir fry, ground chicken, JELLO, and tea
Just decided that today we would have jello (sugar free), because - well just because. I had the snack at 6am this morning as I was going to head out after breakfast to Wal-Mart. Which wasn't busy at 830am. Best deal I got was at PetSmart. I got a huge pillow bed for Jax. Jax, and the two cats would fit on it, without touching each other......though the cats wouldn't go for that idea of being on a pillow with each other. ha ha.
I really didn't plan to go Black Friday shopping, I just had to get a few things at Wal-Mart and needed to go early as a friend was coming over in the afternoon. (my walking friend, Anne)
I did watch more of that Dr T DVD. I had a huh shock by something she mentioned. She was talking on how food addiction hits all three - serotonin, dopamine, and endorphin, in the brain and the only other thing that hits all three is alcohol. What shocked me was I remember I was putting the wine in the fridge years ago, knowing I was doing it because I wanted to feel numb, and also knowing somewhere back deep in my mind that it wasn't really the best plan - I understand now that had I gone thru with that plan and started drinking, on top of my eating, I never would have survived. I would have gone down a path that would have only led to death. My eating was slowly killing me, but adding alcohol to it, I wouldn't have been able to live thru it. I think too I would have died soon after, as in less then 5 years. The increase of what I would have done to get that numbness feeling would have been so fast and quick. I NOW understand, I can not drink alcohol at all.
The other thing I saw as that chocolates and sugar are an opiate. The numbness of pain just as the endorphin does. Sugar also hits the dopamine. But it confirms to me that I was eating chocolates to numb myself.
Tomorrow is jammie day. Considering they are talking of rain/snow, I'm glad we're not doing anything but reading and relaxing. Next week will be busy for us.
S - chia pudding - 2 mouthfuls as it wasn't good
B - shake
L - broccoli salad and grill chicken, tea
D - zucchini/bok choy stir fry, ground chicken, JELLO, and tea
Just decided that today we would have jello (sugar free), because - well just because. I had the snack at 6am this morning as I was going to head out after breakfast to Wal-Mart. Which wasn't busy at 830am. Best deal I got was at PetSmart. I got a huge pillow bed for Jax. Jax, and the two cats would fit on it, without touching each other......though the cats wouldn't go for that idea of being on a pillow with each other. ha ha.
I really didn't plan to go Black Friday shopping, I just had to get a few things at Wal-Mart and needed to go early as a friend was coming over in the afternoon. (my walking friend, Anne)
I did watch more of that Dr T DVD. I had a huh shock by something she mentioned. She was talking on how food addiction hits all three - serotonin, dopamine, and endorphin, in the brain and the only other thing that hits all three is alcohol. What shocked me was I remember I was putting the wine in the fridge years ago, knowing I was doing it because I wanted to feel numb, and also knowing somewhere back deep in my mind that it wasn't really the best plan - I understand now that had I gone thru with that plan and started drinking, on top of my eating, I never would have survived. I would have gone down a path that would have only led to death. My eating was slowly killing me, but adding alcohol to it, I wouldn't have been able to live thru it. I think too I would have died soon after, as in less then 5 years. The increase of what I would have done to get that numbness feeling would have been so fast and quick. I NOW understand, I can not drink alcohol at all.
The other thing I saw as that chocolates and sugar are an opiate. The numbness of pain just as the endorphin does. Sugar also hits the dopamine. But it confirms to me that I was eating chocolates to numb myself.
Tomorrow is jammie day. Considering they are talking of rain/snow, I'm glad we're not doing anything but reading and relaxing. Next week will be busy for us.
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Very Interesting.......
Ok, so the title for this is more very interesting to me probably. I did listen to a podcast the other day by John. (it was in the special editions) Here are the highlights that I found interesting:
- If you make food an option, it will always be the only option. Food is not an option.
- I'm not a slow learner, I'm a quick forgetter.
- I may not be much, but I''m all I think about.
- To get/recover: physically first then emotionally (mentally) and then spiritually. You lose it in the reverse order. First you lose God/Spiritually connection which causes an Emotional uproar which causes you to pick up (physically).
- Bridge between Physical and Spiritual is Emotional (mental)
- We deal with things on an Emotional level because we have a Spiritual gap. We have a sort of hole that is missing and as a result we deal with things with our emotions which are out of whack. We take them to a degree that makes them a problem.
- You are always on a diet of one kind or another. Even eating healthy is basically a diet. We all have to eat in a certain way. (I have been on a no liver diet since I left my mother's house..... I don't like liver.)
- I need to take ownership of my foods, and not just hope the food will become in order.
- But not so regimented food plan that I will rebel against it because I'm made it an authority figure.
- I make the choice of what I follow in foods. I need to know the integrity of my food plan.
- Here's an idea to ask if you should be eating a certain food: If while you're eating it, you are wondering when you can eat it again.... you probably should be eating it.
- The last addiction is the hardest to give up because then you have to live your life unvarnished.
There you have it. Today's podcast was good, but not as interesting to me. Look forward to the next one.
I am feeling better, more up and energetic last two days. Probably cleaned out from the detoxing - and the easing up of foods on my gall bladder. Finally. My family doctor went thru the blood work, and ordered some more. He was very good at taking the time to explain a few I had questions on. I am so grateful we have him!!!!
I've been working at keeping up a menu plan that is flexible, but still in line with the Poon foods I desire to eat. Today was:
B: vegan shake, tea with stevia
S: hard boiled egg
L: lettuce, Drew's dressing (bottle called Drews), leftover pork steak, opsie bread, cream cheese/mustard, tea with stevia
D: Crockpot stewing beef and cabbage/green peppers, tea with stevia
As you notice, tea has stevia again. Just 2 drops. So far Meyer Lemon tea has the best flavour and I'm mixing that one with another milder teas that I still have.
One thing that made my little heart cry.... I checked my weight on the doctor's scale. I know it wasn't Poons, and I need to start just going with his instead. I just needed to know where I was and if what I was doing was working. I've always struggled with weight loss, especially without 'pills', that never really got far. I wanted to know I was doing right with my foods. I found out my scale weighs 3 pounds LESS then the doctors. I was in a bit of a shock and had to work thru my feelings coming up - and I was going to the store afterwards. I did stay with my food choices, didn't have too much trouble at the store. It wasn't until I was driving home that I was able to see the light. I realized the first 7 days I ate like there was no tomorrow in choices. Between Nov 7 - 15, I was at RH and had to eat that food, losing only 2 pounds. On Nov 16th I promptly started Poons....soo between the 2 pounds plus Nov 16 to Nov 22 - I lost 9 pounds in total. That means in one week I lost 7 pounds. That helped me feel better over the weight loss. And helped me see I am doing well with my food choices. Yeah!
- If you make food an option, it will always be the only option. Food is not an option.
- I'm not a slow learner, I'm a quick forgetter.
- I may not be much, but I''m all I think about.
- To get/recover: physically first then emotionally (mentally) and then spiritually. You lose it in the reverse order. First you lose God/Spiritually connection which causes an Emotional uproar which causes you to pick up (physically).
- Bridge between Physical and Spiritual is Emotional (mental)
- We deal with things on an Emotional level because we have a Spiritual gap. We have a sort of hole that is missing and as a result we deal with things with our emotions which are out of whack. We take them to a degree that makes them a problem.
- You are always on a diet of one kind or another. Even eating healthy is basically a diet. We all have to eat in a certain way. (I have been on a no liver diet since I left my mother's house..... I don't like liver.)
- I need to take ownership of my foods, and not just hope the food will become in order.
- But not so regimented food plan that I will rebel against it because I'm made it an authority figure.
- I make the choice of what I follow in foods. I need to know the integrity of my food plan.
- Here's an idea to ask if you should be eating a certain food: If while you're eating it, you are wondering when you can eat it again.... you probably should be eating it.
- The last addiction is the hardest to give up because then you have to live your life unvarnished.
There you have it. Today's podcast was good, but not as interesting to me. Look forward to the next one.
I am feeling better, more up and energetic last two days. Probably cleaned out from the detoxing - and the easing up of foods on my gall bladder. Finally. My family doctor went thru the blood work, and ordered some more. He was very good at taking the time to explain a few I had questions on. I am so grateful we have him!!!!
I've been working at keeping up a menu plan that is flexible, but still in line with the Poon foods I desire to eat. Today was:
B: vegan shake, tea with stevia
S: hard boiled egg
L: lettuce, Drew's dressing (bottle called Drews), leftover pork steak, opsie bread, cream cheese/mustard, tea with stevia
D: Crockpot stewing beef and cabbage/green peppers, tea with stevia
As you notice, tea has stevia again. Just 2 drops. So far Meyer Lemon tea has the best flavour and I'm mixing that one with another milder teas that I still have.
One thing that made my little heart cry.... I checked my weight on the doctor's scale. I know it wasn't Poons, and I need to start just going with his instead. I just needed to know where I was and if what I was doing was working. I've always struggled with weight loss, especially without 'pills', that never really got far. I wanted to know I was doing right with my foods. I found out my scale weighs 3 pounds LESS then the doctors. I was in a bit of a shock and had to work thru my feelings coming up - and I was going to the store afterwards. I did stay with my food choices, didn't have too much trouble at the store. It wasn't until I was driving home that I was able to see the light. I realized the first 7 days I ate like there was no tomorrow in choices. Between Nov 7 - 15, I was at RH and had to eat that food, losing only 2 pounds. On Nov 16th I promptly started Poons....soo between the 2 pounds plus Nov 16 to Nov 22 - I lost 9 pounds in total. That means in one week I lost 7 pounds. That helped me feel better over the weight loss. And helped me see I am doing well with my food choices. Yeah!
Monday, November 21, 2016
The Lure of Chocolate
I was thinking of my chocolate trigger food and what I have been reading in the study book I got.
I know remembering about my trigger food is euphoria of memory and ... ah I don't want to get the study book out, but it's something like the ending of the pain of forgetting. I am so grateful for what I did learn, and that I could get the books/dvd to help me understand / learn. And hopefully, because of me, someone with issues going in might not have the problem with them as I had, because they will accept their issues.
There is a slight resentment there towards them at RH, but I also know I got what I needed. If I keep thinking I missed something important, then I will build that resentment and lose my abstinence. (14 days! yeah) What I need to do is read the Big Book of AA page 417 on acceptance is the answer, then trust my Divine Spirit will lead me to any more important information I need in my journey. My next resentment to work on is, my tea tastes BLAH without more stevia.....! ha ha ha The stevia is acceptable on Dr Poon's list, I'm just wanting to cut it down a lot.
Back to the chocolate thoughts - I haven't figured out if cocoa is triggering as I mentioned earlier. I really don't think it does. When I was walking Jax, it occurred to me that years ago, I didn't have trouble with it in general. and I read about combination foods triggering the other day. I wondered if that was what it was with cocoa / chocolate. It's the combination of cocoa, sugar, fats, and the extras they add that trigger me to no end. Well, that and it being my go to as a small child..... which I think made it become my trigger. Just like some can't have bread because it reminds them of their grandma's baking bread memory, though they are fine with other types of dough foods. Sometimes there's a lot in just a little thing. Explains too why when I would make my own 'chocolate' it was eh ok, and I didn't go back for it. Basically made it with nutbutter, cocoa and stevia. Apparently big business mixes sugar/fats/salt together to get people hooked on a product. They look for that combination that hits a person's sweet spot just enough to keep them wanting more, but not enough to overly have them notice. Hence the just can't eat one potato chip plan.
I didn't make it to the meeting last night because of the weather, more on the windy, falling snow then on a storm. I choose wisely to avoid as much night driving as possible. I spoke with the person listed for the meeting, she reminded me about on line meetings, and talks to listen to, like - A Vision 4 You. Going to listen to one today when AJ goes to exercise. Other then walking, I'm avoiding exercise per advice from RH when detoxing the 3 weeks.
Today's food plan is:
B - 2 hard boiled egg whites, (AJ got the yolks) 1 leftover egg muffin, slice of oopsie with cream cheese and mustard, 2 tsp of chia pudding. Tea (that needed more stevia...)
L - chicken/bacon slaw, tea
D - pork steak, broccoli, salad and dressing, tea
S - rest of chia pudding, somewhere will be a slice of oopsie/cheese again probably, haven't decided where/when.
I'm off to go listen to those podcasts.
Ta
I know remembering about my trigger food is euphoria of memory and ... ah I don't want to get the study book out, but it's something like the ending of the pain of forgetting. I am so grateful for what I did learn, and that I could get the books/dvd to help me understand / learn. And hopefully, because of me, someone with issues going in might not have the problem with them as I had, because they will accept their issues.
There is a slight resentment there towards them at RH, but I also know I got what I needed. If I keep thinking I missed something important, then I will build that resentment and lose my abstinence. (14 days! yeah) What I need to do is read the Big Book of AA page 417 on acceptance is the answer, then trust my Divine Spirit will lead me to any more important information I need in my journey. My next resentment to work on is, my tea tastes BLAH without more stevia.....! ha ha ha The stevia is acceptable on Dr Poon's list, I'm just wanting to cut it down a lot.
Back to the chocolate thoughts - I haven't figured out if cocoa is triggering as I mentioned earlier. I really don't think it does. When I was walking Jax, it occurred to me that years ago, I didn't have trouble with it in general. and I read about combination foods triggering the other day. I wondered if that was what it was with cocoa / chocolate. It's the combination of cocoa, sugar, fats, and the extras they add that trigger me to no end. Well, that and it being my go to as a small child..... which I think made it become my trigger. Just like some can't have bread because it reminds them of their grandma's baking bread memory, though they are fine with other types of dough foods. Sometimes there's a lot in just a little thing. Explains too why when I would make my own 'chocolate' it was eh ok, and I didn't go back for it. Basically made it with nutbutter, cocoa and stevia. Apparently big business mixes sugar/fats/salt together to get people hooked on a product. They look for that combination that hits a person's sweet spot just enough to keep them wanting more, but not enough to overly have them notice. Hence the just can't eat one potato chip plan.
I didn't make it to the meeting last night because of the weather, more on the windy, falling snow then on a storm. I choose wisely to avoid as much night driving as possible. I spoke with the person listed for the meeting, she reminded me about on line meetings, and talks to listen to, like - A Vision 4 You. Going to listen to one today when AJ goes to exercise. Other then walking, I'm avoiding exercise per advice from RH when detoxing the 3 weeks.
Today's food plan is:
B - 2 hard boiled egg whites, (AJ got the yolks) 1 leftover egg muffin, slice of oopsie with cream cheese and mustard, 2 tsp of chia pudding. Tea (that needed more stevia...)
L - chicken/bacon slaw, tea
D - pork steak, broccoli, salad and dressing, tea
S - rest of chia pudding, somewhere will be a slice of oopsie/cheese again probably, haven't decided where/when.
I'm off to go listen to those podcasts.
Ta
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Sunday rambles
Have been out of sorts the last few days. Very tired. Can't figure out if it's from detoxing still, my gall bladder, or just tired from everything. I know my iron is down (saw the blood work). It's not as simple as take some iron. I need to confirm what the other iron levels are (more blood work to come then) before I take iron as I've had trouble since my last 'dieting and illness'. Need to be careful - and I want to do weight loss in a healthy way this time, so it will last.
Saturday's meals were:
B - egg/kale muffin and chia pudding
L - veg soup (made it yesterday) and oopsie slice, with laughing cow cheese (I know, I know, cheese is dairy - I can tolerate BITS of dairy, just not 8oz for breakfast and then 4oz for bed, and then another 8oz the next day....etc)
S - oppsie slice again
D - a very delicious recipe I found of cabbage tuna casserole. Was very filling, and quite good. Will make it again. Best part, it filled me up but not to the point of gb pain.
I have been in a bit of grieving process - might be the tiredness too - talking with AJ yesterday, I said the one thing I couldn't get when I was at RH was an understanding of my food addiction and if I really was. Years and years ago I gave up chocolate bars etc for 6 years. As I spoke with AJ, I was struggling with the issue of foods and that I was getting stressed about everything I was eating. Not a good idea for me. As we talked, I realized I got off track when I started the chocolates again. Now I could see chocolates are my trigger food. Sugar will get me there too, but not to the extreme as chocolates. When sugar is limited, I am better. The wheat, gluten, and grains are a choice I want to limit also. I do better on low carb. Because of this insight.... I know chocolates are gone again, and I could cry. I haven't figured out if cocoa is out. There is something about store brought/made chocolates that trigger me. Occasionally I would make my own chocolate and, well, it just didn't do it for me. So that still might be an option, at the moment not.
RH the focus was on healthy eating and keeping off the sugar/wheat/grains. I did lose 2.5 pounds while I was there (per the RH doctor's scale). I checked my weight today on my scale and I'm down 11.5 pounds. When I see my family doctor I will check on his scale - and mine - and see how close they are, and confirm.
I would like to study my books/dvd for an hour a day, just to keep on track and have more understanding. With the coming snow storm today, I will not be going to a meeting, not driving in bad weather. I know I need to keep aware of my addiction / trigger especially since shopping yesterday at the grocery store, I needed to leave the chocolates and it wasn't easy, not that hard either, but more just awareness and longing cravings. Being tired makes them louder. I know I choose this route. I know this is what I want - to be clear in my head, healthy in my body, and stable with my emotions.
Saturday's meals were:
B - egg/kale muffin and chia pudding
L - veg soup (made it yesterday) and oopsie slice, with laughing cow cheese (I know, I know, cheese is dairy - I can tolerate BITS of dairy, just not 8oz for breakfast and then 4oz for bed, and then another 8oz the next day....etc)
S - oppsie slice again
D - a very delicious recipe I found of cabbage tuna casserole. Was very filling, and quite good. Will make it again. Best part, it filled me up but not to the point of gb pain.
I have been in a bit of grieving process - might be the tiredness too - talking with AJ yesterday, I said the one thing I couldn't get when I was at RH was an understanding of my food addiction and if I really was. Years and years ago I gave up chocolate bars etc for 6 years. As I spoke with AJ, I was struggling with the issue of foods and that I was getting stressed about everything I was eating. Not a good idea for me. As we talked, I realized I got off track when I started the chocolates again. Now I could see chocolates are my trigger food. Sugar will get me there too, but not to the extreme as chocolates. When sugar is limited, I am better. The wheat, gluten, and grains are a choice I want to limit also. I do better on low carb. Because of this insight.... I know chocolates are gone again, and I could cry. I haven't figured out if cocoa is out. There is something about store brought/made chocolates that trigger me. Occasionally I would make my own chocolate and, well, it just didn't do it for me. So that still might be an option, at the moment not.
RH the focus was on healthy eating and keeping off the sugar/wheat/grains. I did lose 2.5 pounds while I was there (per the RH doctor's scale). I checked my weight today on my scale and I'm down 11.5 pounds. When I see my family doctor I will check on his scale - and mine - and see how close they are, and confirm.
I would like to study my books/dvd for an hour a day, just to keep on track and have more understanding. With the coming snow storm today, I will not be going to a meeting, not driving in bad weather. I know I need to keep aware of my addiction / trigger especially since shopping yesterday at the grocery store, I needed to leave the chocolates and it wasn't easy, not that hard either, but more just awareness and longing cravings. Being tired makes them louder. I know I choose this route. I know this is what I want - to be clear in my head, healthy in my body, and stable with my emotions.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Poonified
Well, I'm on my Pooning. I also called my doctor about my gall bladder (see him next Wednesday) and started watching that DVD - very interesting.
Also got out to rake the leaves, apparently the weather will not be great this weekend.
This morning was a vegan shake - so glad to have something easier on my stomach. Lunch was chicken and salad.... and peppermint tea. Of all the things, tea is what I'm struggling with - most of the herbal teas I have now have no flavour. Have to find one that does.
Tonight's dinner will be Trout and salad and veg. I found a recipe for Chia pudding, so I'm going to make that for tonight's later snack as I don't want more meat, especially before bed.
Sunday I'm off for a meeting. Not much else to report today. Haven't been sleeping well as I get nauseous laying down.
Off to pick up Jax from daycare.
Ta
Also got out to rake the leaves, apparently the weather will not be great this weekend.
This morning was a vegan shake - so glad to have something easier on my stomach. Lunch was chicken and salad.... and peppermint tea. Of all the things, tea is what I'm struggling with - most of the herbal teas I have now have no flavour. Have to find one that does.
Tonight's dinner will be Trout and salad and veg. I found a recipe for Chia pudding, so I'm going to make that for tonight's later snack as I don't want more meat, especially before bed.
Sunday I'm off for a meeting. Not much else to report today. Haven't been sleeping well as I get nauseous laying down.
Off to pick up Jax from daycare.
Ta
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Sir, There was an Attack on the Right Flank
Surprise! Not exactly 21 days later, I know.
I didn't get success at asking them if I could avoid the dairy. Basically was told at RH to eat the dairy or leave. I found (later) I could avoid the nightshades as tomatoes were in salads, and I could pick around them. But the dairy.... there was a lot of it. When I went there and talked with the intake person, I explained about the dairy etc, she got the manager who said either eat it or leave. I felt my heart sink, I hadn't even unpacked yet or started anything. I get it is an addiction centre and people try to get their own way. Which I was doing, and they don't go for that. I knew too that I desperately needed to get 'clean', so I agreed and signed off on it. I had a feeling in the back of my head at that point I wasn't going to be able to stay 21 days, that I would stay until I couldn't handle the dairy anymore.
After a week, and many meals of dairy, the dairy became a secondary issue. I started having gall bladder pain. Now, I have been told about 2 years ago that I had polyps in my gall bladder, and then later gall stones. Once in a while it would flare a bit, but not enough to send me to the hospital to remove it, or for me to think on it a lot. I had read large amounts and a lot of fat weren't good for gall bladder issues. I basically forgot about it as it wasn't an issue for me. I didn't relate 20 ounces with large amounts (I knew it was but not large amounts that bother gb)......though I now think that was my Divine Spirit clouding that thought. Would have stopped me? Maybe? I don't know. What I do know is that I needed to detox. By Monday I was in pain with my right flank side and back side. My full stomach was pushing too much on my gall bladder and there was pain into my back. When I found out there was dairy that night, I basically lost it. I was crying. The inflaming I was getting from the dairy/nuts/eggs was getting worse, and the pain I had all day (had been already starting in day 4 with my gb), I just didn't know what to do.
I talked with the person in charge of the night shift. We decided on me having nuts (very common food there, almost daily, and RA inflaming but more manageable then dairy) I was to talk with my counselor in the morning. I couldn't sleep that well with the pain during the night. I thought in the morning I would try to stay even though I was worried I'd end up in the hospital having surgery at some point of the next 15 days. In the last 2 years, since I've known about my gb, I've never worried about surgery at all - until these last few days. I hoped I could somehow continue there. For breakfast, it was yogurt - I knew I was done. Even if they stopped the dairy at this point, I was so inflamed, my gb was causing a lot of pain - I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't eat the basic same things over and over (like nuts and eggs) without the inflammation flares, and I couldn't push the gb pain to the point of emergency surgery with the large amounts.
I said good bye to certain friends, saw the one woman I felt I needed to share something with to help her (Divine Spirit put us in the same room together alone - something her and I wouldn't normally do). I knew once I was leaving I wouldn't be able to talk to any of the others again after that. Saw my counselor and told her I was done. I said I would keep my promise, and I was ready to leave. She did offer to try to see if she could stop the dairy, but I said no, not with the gb pain on top of it. If she had succeeded, I suspect I have been back a few days later in agony. Leaving at that point I would have felt like an all consuming as*, instead of someone wisely taking care of themselves. I KNOW I need to listen and honour my body. Kinda one of the points I was going there for.
She was kind about it, and because I was there 8 days, I was able to get the book the doctor wrote, I also had gotten the doctor's CDs on the Biology of Addictions. She is a fantastic doctor. I got another CD on the food addiction part, wanted to give it away, but that plan on who I thought to give it to wasn't going to work, so I will offer it to my family doctor instead. Today I can watch my own copy with AJ, and start reading her book.
I'm still in some detoxing. My gb is much quieter. I'm still on plan. I've just moved up my days from 21 to 8 - re-adjusted the foods (more in amounts - have less and not that much in types) Still on no sugar, wheat, grains, and doing low carb. I have my support system in place, and I'm continuing.
I needed that time away in a place that would be able to start me off clean as I couldn't do it at home. At least not that easily at home. Granted 21 days there would have been more helpful, but I have now 8 days. I learnt a lot being there even in those few days. I received numerous insights, made friends, and got started off certain foods. Was it a waste of time? Knowing about my issues with dairy etc, gall bladder - should I have gone? Should I have removed myself from going? WITHOUT A DOUBT I know going was the best decision and glad I did. I needed to be there, not just for me but for a few specific women and their journey. My time, short as it was, had value for me.
I didn't get success at asking them if I could avoid the dairy. Basically was told at RH to eat the dairy or leave. I found (later) I could avoid the nightshades as tomatoes were in salads, and I could pick around them. But the dairy.... there was a lot of it. When I went there and talked with the intake person, I explained about the dairy etc, she got the manager who said either eat it or leave. I felt my heart sink, I hadn't even unpacked yet or started anything. I get it is an addiction centre and people try to get their own way. Which I was doing, and they don't go for that. I knew too that I desperately needed to get 'clean', so I agreed and signed off on it. I had a feeling in the back of my head at that point I wasn't going to be able to stay 21 days, that I would stay until I couldn't handle the dairy anymore.
After a week, and many meals of dairy, the dairy became a secondary issue. I started having gall bladder pain. Now, I have been told about 2 years ago that I had polyps in my gall bladder, and then later gall stones. Once in a while it would flare a bit, but not enough to send me to the hospital to remove it, or for me to think on it a lot. I had read large amounts and a lot of fat weren't good for gall bladder issues. I basically forgot about it as it wasn't an issue for me. I didn't relate 20 ounces with large amounts (I knew it was but not large amounts that bother gb)......though I now think that was my Divine Spirit clouding that thought. Would have stopped me? Maybe? I don't know. What I do know is that I needed to detox. By Monday I was in pain with my right flank side and back side. My full stomach was pushing too much on my gall bladder and there was pain into my back. When I found out there was dairy that night, I basically lost it. I was crying. The inflaming I was getting from the dairy/nuts/eggs was getting worse, and the pain I had all day (had been already starting in day 4 with my gb), I just didn't know what to do.
I talked with the person in charge of the night shift. We decided on me having nuts (very common food there, almost daily, and RA inflaming but more manageable then dairy) I was to talk with my counselor in the morning. I couldn't sleep that well with the pain during the night. I thought in the morning I would try to stay even though I was worried I'd end up in the hospital having surgery at some point of the next 15 days. In the last 2 years, since I've known about my gb, I've never worried about surgery at all - until these last few days. I hoped I could somehow continue there. For breakfast, it was yogurt - I knew I was done. Even if they stopped the dairy at this point, I was so inflamed, my gb was causing a lot of pain - I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't eat the basic same things over and over (like nuts and eggs) without the inflammation flares, and I couldn't push the gb pain to the point of emergency surgery with the large amounts.
I said good bye to certain friends, saw the one woman I felt I needed to share something with to help her (Divine Spirit put us in the same room together alone - something her and I wouldn't normally do). I knew once I was leaving I wouldn't be able to talk to any of the others again after that. Saw my counselor and told her I was done. I said I would keep my promise, and I was ready to leave. She did offer to try to see if she could stop the dairy, but I said no, not with the gb pain on top of it. If she had succeeded, I suspect I have been back a few days later in agony. Leaving at that point I would have felt like an all consuming as*, instead of someone wisely taking care of themselves. I KNOW I need to listen and honour my body. Kinda one of the points I was going there for.
She was kind about it, and because I was there 8 days, I was able to get the book the doctor wrote, I also had gotten the doctor's CDs on the Biology of Addictions. She is a fantastic doctor. I got another CD on the food addiction part, wanted to give it away, but that plan on who I thought to give it to wasn't going to work, so I will offer it to my family doctor instead. Today I can watch my own copy with AJ, and start reading her book.
I'm still in some detoxing. My gb is much quieter. I'm still on plan. I've just moved up my days from 21 to 8 - re-adjusted the foods (more in amounts - have less and not that much in types) Still on no sugar, wheat, grains, and doing low carb. I have my support system in place, and I'm continuing.
I needed that time away in a place that would be able to start me off clean as I couldn't do it at home. At least not that easily at home. Granted 21 days there would have been more helpful, but I have now 8 days. I learnt a lot being there even in those few days. I received numerous insights, made friends, and got started off certain foods. Was it a waste of time? Knowing about my issues with dairy etc, gall bladder - should I have gone? Should I have removed myself from going? WITHOUT A DOUBT I know going was the best decision and glad I did. I needed to be there, not just for me but for a few specific women and their journey. My time, short as it was, had value for me.
Sunday, November 6, 2016
ALL'S CALM ON THE FRONT
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, I was checking my luggage and figuring things out. Almost time to go.
One of the things I need to pack is a journal. Found this one at the Dollar store.
Thought it was a good one for what I'm doing.
Noticed the last few days that I am calmer. I'm not talking endlessly about what I am doing, whether it's the right thing etc. Which from past experience for me it means I have accepted and made a decision. With everything I've done to get ready, I am sure of my decision. I have noticed too, that those foods I will mainly let go of, I have started letting go of already. Like Wood Pie, the meal was good, and we brought half home for Saturday, but it wasn't something I was interested in anymore. I was at Goodness Me, as I walked in I thought of the Smores cookies, and it was no, they are gone. DQ, as I was eating it, this doesn't taste that good. My body is SOOO ready for change. I didn't write yesterday (as you might have noticed) because of that DQ. I was very ill Friday night. My stomach worked overtime at getting that dairy and sugar thru my system - painfully. At 230am that night, my loving, supportive hubby woke and asked me if I was in pain. Then asked again as I didn't answer. This time my answer was, I'm killing myself. AJ responded, oh sweetie, what can I do to help you? I said I'm killing myself with the foods. Him - That's why you are going to RH to detox...." I thought - this is it. I've hit my bottom. I know I can not have these foods. During the weekend I needed to recover from my unhealthy food binge. Good bye, I pray!
I rechecked my luggage. Talia said that they had Advil there, so I removed my bottle. Don't think I have anything I can't have.
Everything inside and outside is completed as far as I know. I've packed up outside things, Jason came and cut the grass, the trees/roses are wrapped, bird feeders are full and winter covers are done. Inside is cleaned and organized to make it easier for hubby. Jax's walker is prepared and I've discussed that I will be gone for a while with Jax, and the cats. I've also talked with the neighbours.... I think AJ will be better cared for then when he is living with me!
As I will be gone - hopefully - for 21 days, this blog will be very quiet. Ha ha ha. I hope to post soon after I get back, but I suspect I will need a few days, so start looking on November 29/30th if you are interested. Til then, I'm wishing everyone well, good health and joyful journeys.
One of the things I need to pack is a journal. Found this one at the Dollar store.
Thought it was a good one for what I'm doing.
Noticed the last few days that I am calmer. I'm not talking endlessly about what I am doing, whether it's the right thing etc. Which from past experience for me it means I have accepted and made a decision. With everything I've done to get ready, I am sure of my decision. I have noticed too, that those foods I will mainly let go of, I have started letting go of already. Like Wood Pie, the meal was good, and we brought half home for Saturday, but it wasn't something I was interested in anymore. I was at Goodness Me, as I walked in I thought of the Smores cookies, and it was no, they are gone. DQ, as I was eating it, this doesn't taste that good. My body is SOOO ready for change. I didn't write yesterday (as you might have noticed) because of that DQ. I was very ill Friday night. My stomach worked overtime at getting that dairy and sugar thru my system - painfully. At 230am that night, my loving, supportive hubby woke and asked me if I was in pain. Then asked again as I didn't answer. This time my answer was, I'm killing myself. AJ responded, oh sweetie, what can I do to help you? I said I'm killing myself with the foods. Him - That's why you are going to RH to detox...." I thought - this is it. I've hit my bottom. I know I can not have these foods. During the weekend I needed to recover from my unhealthy food binge. Good bye, I pray!
I rechecked my luggage. Talia said that they had Advil there, so I removed my bottle. Don't think I have anything I can't have.
Everything inside and outside is completed as far as I know. I've packed up outside things, Jason came and cut the grass, the trees/roses are wrapped, bird feeders are full and winter covers are done. Inside is cleaned and organized to make it easier for hubby. Jax's walker is prepared and I've discussed that I will be gone for a while with Jax, and the cats. I've also talked with the neighbours.... I think AJ will be better cared for then when he is living with me!
As I will be gone - hopefully - for 21 days, this blog will be very quiet. Ha ha ha. I hope to post soon after I get back, but I suspect I will need a few days, so start looking on November 29/30th if you are interested. Til then, I'm wishing everyone well, good health and joyful journeys.
Friday, November 4, 2016
Friday's Ramble
Beautiful day today around here. Woke after a good night's sleep (for a change). Don't know if the sleeping better is because of our new curtains - black out ones. Or just because I'm calmer about going on Monday.
Since it was early I suggested to hubby, let's go to Cookstown. Jax got to go to doggy daycare, he's tuckered out tonight. We got there and started looking for snow boots for AJ. Decided for Christmas he wanted new snow boots. We were there for about 15 mins. We agreed, turned around, walked out, and drove back to Walmart. Immediately found a nice tan pair of boots. Because of AJ's stroke, he needs lighter boots as his right side foot tends to drag a bit, lifting a heavy boot could cause him to trip. Of course it was Walmart, so we picked up a few other things.
Next was off to the music store. I have two nephews (my sister's boys) who are into music. One plays the guitar and drums, the other, trumpet and piano (also both sing). Picked up a travel trumpet stand, drumsticks, and pics. They are actually for the boys' birthdays and not Christmas. Drummer is in December and Trumpeter is in February. I will be bringing the gifts at Christmas but sis will keep them until their birthdays. They get lots for Christmas.
Went to Wood Pie for lunch. It was good. Then off to pick up cheese for AJ while I'm gone. He loves cheese.... Sunday is shopping day with him - gets to pick up all those things he'd like to have. AJ is actually a good healthy eater, not really into junk food etc. Cheese is his favourite.
Tomorrow there is a Health Fair in our community. Since AJ's on the board he will be there early. I'll drop him off, come back home as Jane the dog walker is coming over to walk with me and Jax, and get some tips of things around etc. She's never walked Jax, but does know him.
So tonight is a just relax and watch TV night.
Since it was early I suggested to hubby, let's go to Cookstown. Jax got to go to doggy daycare, he's tuckered out tonight. We got there and started looking for snow boots for AJ. Decided for Christmas he wanted new snow boots. We were there for about 15 mins. We agreed, turned around, walked out, and drove back to Walmart. Immediately found a nice tan pair of boots. Because of AJ's stroke, he needs lighter boots as his right side foot tends to drag a bit, lifting a heavy boot could cause him to trip. Of course it was Walmart, so we picked up a few other things.
Next was off to the music store. I have two nephews (my sister's boys) who are into music. One plays the guitar and drums, the other, trumpet and piano (also both sing). Picked up a travel trumpet stand, drumsticks, and pics. They are actually for the boys' birthdays and not Christmas. Drummer is in December and Trumpeter is in February. I will be bringing the gifts at Christmas but sis will keep them until their birthdays. They get lots for Christmas.
Went to Wood Pie for lunch. It was good. Then off to pick up cheese for AJ while I'm gone. He loves cheese.... Sunday is shopping day with him - gets to pick up all those things he'd like to have. AJ is actually a good healthy eater, not really into junk food etc. Cheese is his favourite.
Tomorrow there is a Health Fair in our community. Since AJ's on the board he will be there early. I'll drop him off, come back home as Jane the dog walker is coming over to walk with me and Jax, and get some tips of things around etc. She's never walked Jax, but does know him.
So tonight is a just relax and watch TV night.
Thursday, November 3, 2016
Autumn's Broken Nails
I went to art class today! Finished my picture I started the other day. Thought it turned out well.
The picture is on a desk. The brown isn't part of the picture. Up on the wall with the rest of my paintings it goes. Look forward to going back to group in December. It's very healing.
I love autumn. The colours, the cooler weather, the crispness in the air, even the odd rainy day. It's always been my favourite season. The only 2 problems.... #1 my fingernails start breaking. 11 months of the year my fingernails break very easy, but in August they are strong and long. By mid-September they start their journey of breaking again. It must be all the summer sun that helps them. The 2nd issue is, the cooler weather and rain causes flares and more pain. It's not a season that is easy on my health. Winter isn't that great either, but come Spring/ Summer - the living is easy.
I realized today that this time my life change is again different on another level. The first time I lost weight, I started April 1st. Yes, I know the date, because that was the date I started a new office job, and walked in being the 'new' me - going for the different person and size and lost the weight during the summer/autumn. By the late fall/winter I was down to 180 lbs, getting thru autumn's health issues and enjoying the weight loss. The second time was in late May. Again, by the time late fall/winter came, I was down to 185 lbs and enjoying the second new life even with health issues happening in autumn. See it?
For the first time, I am starting a life change in autumn/winter even though health flares are happening, mentally I'm in a great positive place, spiritually I'm light :) ..... optimistically planning to enjoy weight loss, better health by late winter/early spring. I wonder if my fingernails will be able to also change, and stay strong and long 12 months a year.....?
The picture is on a desk. The brown isn't part of the picture. Up on the wall with the rest of my paintings it goes. Look forward to going back to group in December. It's very healing.
I love autumn. The colours, the cooler weather, the crispness in the air, even the odd rainy day. It's always been my favourite season. The only 2 problems.... #1 my fingernails start breaking. 11 months of the year my fingernails break very easy, but in August they are strong and long. By mid-September they start their journey of breaking again. It must be all the summer sun that helps them. The 2nd issue is, the cooler weather and rain causes flares and more pain. It's not a season that is easy on my health. Winter isn't that great either, but come Spring/ Summer - the living is easy.
I realized today that this time my life change is again different on another level. The first time I lost weight, I started April 1st. Yes, I know the date, because that was the date I started a new office job, and walked in being the 'new' me - going for the different person and size and lost the weight during the summer/autumn. By the late fall/winter I was down to 180 lbs, getting thru autumn's health issues and enjoying the weight loss. The second time was in late May. Again, by the time late fall/winter came, I was down to 185 lbs and enjoying the second new life even with health issues happening in autumn. See it?
For the first time, I am starting a life change in autumn/winter even though health flares are happening, mentally I'm in a great positive place, spiritually I'm light :) ..... optimistically planning to enjoy weight loss, better health by late winter/early spring. I wonder if my fingernails will be able to also change, and stay strong and long 12 months a year.....?
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Busy, busy, busy
Today was another very busy day. Didn't get much sleep either. Woke at 130am, got up at 330am and finally at 6am was sleepy enough to go back to bed until 8am. Not a good thing - sleep is very important. I have been noticing that I really haven't had a restful, good sleep in months. I hope going to RH will also help that. I am wondering if my adrenals are over-stressed with all that is going on. I'm monitoring that closer as I don't want or need to get ill. Think once I'm finally at RH and starting, although it has it's own stresses, it will be good.
Got onto Dr Poon's FB, eager to start reading on it. My journey there was good overall. I found the doctor a bit dull. I didn't have a chance to really ask any questions as my intake with her was long due to my health issues. I got my little strip of paper with my info on it.
weight: 241.5 lb
bmi: 37.3
fat %: 50.4%
fat mass: 121.5 lb
Desirable range:
weight: 163 lbs (per the doctor, not on the paper)
fat %: 23-34%
fat mass: 36-62 lb
TARGETS:
bf: 34%
predicted weight: 181.5 lb
predicted fat mass: 61.5 lb
FAT TO LOSE: 60 LBS
I really like the breakdowns. They give me clearer goals instead of just weight. I like it because now I will be able to see number changes in other areas, especially if the weight loss is slow. Then I will be able to also ask what I need to do.
There are a few differences between RH and Poon which I knew would happen. Biggest is eat when hungry until comfortably full instead of RH's eat 20 ounces until it's gone. I suspect I will be very glad when I am detoxed, and out to easy up on all those veggies. I like the eating until comfortably full idea much better.
They had a low carb store - I did get a few things. I met a lovely woman who has been on Dr Poon for 2 yrs, she made a few suggestions - directing me to some salad dressing which I was really looking for. Some days I'm just not interested in oil and vinegar dressing. I also picked up 2 boxes of sugar free jello. That's a safety thing for me as I don't know how I will feel when I get home about desserts/snacks (I know I will have to mega drop them, but for those few times that I'm just wanting something and can't let it go, I will have a safety food item to help). I looked at other things, but they have wheat or soy which I know I don't want. Besides healthy, normal, real food will be best.
I also got to find out that my metabolism is very slow. I really, really don't burn enough in general. That can and will change!
They offered some training which via my small insurance would cover a bit. Talking with AJ about it, we decided I would take a few courses in resistance training, especially since that will help me lose fat, not just weight. That's where yesterday's 12 Simple tricks also comes in. Similar statement.
I still haven't sat down and studied much of the papers I got. Had an appointment with the social worker to discuss how I am doing, then going for blood work, then shopping and then.... got home, and Princess's side of lip was swollen! Quickly to the vet - she has an infection on her gums. Antibiotics and rinsing now required. They said the rinsing until Monday morning would be ok, but would be better if I could find someone who can do it for longer. AJ can't hold her down and rinse her mouth as it requires two hands - he's only got one workable hand, the other has sporadic movements. Princess is a double rescued cat - my mother rescued her, and I rescued her from my mother's house. (the other cat continuously attacked her) She is very attached and trusting of me.
I'm off to check out facebook.
Ta!
Got onto Dr Poon's FB, eager to start reading on it. My journey there was good overall. I found the doctor a bit dull. I didn't have a chance to really ask any questions as my intake with her was long due to my health issues. I got my little strip of paper with my info on it.
weight: 241.5 lb
bmi: 37.3
fat %: 50.4%
fat mass: 121.5 lb
Desirable range:
weight: 163 lbs (per the doctor, not on the paper)
fat %: 23-34%
fat mass: 36-62 lb
TARGETS:
bf: 34%
predicted weight: 181.5 lb
predicted fat mass: 61.5 lb
FAT TO LOSE: 60 LBS
I really like the breakdowns. They give me clearer goals instead of just weight. I like it because now I will be able to see number changes in other areas, especially if the weight loss is slow. Then I will be able to also ask what I need to do.
There are a few differences between RH and Poon which I knew would happen. Biggest is eat when hungry until comfortably full instead of RH's eat 20 ounces until it's gone. I suspect I will be very glad when I am detoxed, and out to easy up on all those veggies. I like the eating until comfortably full idea much better.
They had a low carb store - I did get a few things. I met a lovely woman who has been on Dr Poon for 2 yrs, she made a few suggestions - directing me to some salad dressing which I was really looking for. Some days I'm just not interested in oil and vinegar dressing. I also picked up 2 boxes of sugar free jello. That's a safety thing for me as I don't know how I will feel when I get home about desserts/snacks (I know I will have to mega drop them, but for those few times that I'm just wanting something and can't let it go, I will have a safety food item to help). I looked at other things, but they have wheat or soy which I know I don't want. Besides healthy, normal, real food will be best.
I also got to find out that my metabolism is very slow. I really, really don't burn enough in general. That can and will change!
They offered some training which via my small insurance would cover a bit. Talking with AJ about it, we decided I would take a few courses in resistance training, especially since that will help me lose fat, not just weight. That's where yesterday's 12 Simple tricks also comes in. Similar statement.
I still haven't sat down and studied much of the papers I got. Had an appointment with the social worker to discuss how I am doing, then going for blood work, then shopping and then.... got home, and Princess's side of lip was swollen! Quickly to the vet - she has an infection on her gums. Antibiotics and rinsing now required. They said the rinsing until Monday morning would be ok, but would be better if I could find someone who can do it for longer. AJ can't hold her down and rinse her mouth as it requires two hands - he's only got one workable hand, the other has sporadic movements. Princess is a double rescued cat - my mother rescued her, and I rescued her from my mother's house. (the other cat continuously attacked her) She is very attached and trusting of me.
I'm off to check out facebook.
Ta!
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Quickie
Whew. Loooong day. Went this morning to see Dr Poon. Dropped Jax off at doggy daycare, then AJ and I drove to Thornhill. Took a little over an hour there. Also then over an hour back.
I was grateful to go, glad I'm going to do this, and have stuff to read. Will write more over the next few days.
One tidbit I got was similar to a reading I got from http://www.care2.com/greenliving/12-simple-tricks-that-lower-cortisol-levels-naturally.html
quote:
I was grateful to go, glad I'm going to do this, and have stuff to read. Will write more over the next few days.
One tidbit I got was similar to a reading I got from http://www.care2.com/greenliving/12-simple-tricks-that-lower-cortisol-levels-naturally.html
quote:
12. Exercise moderately
Exercise releases endorphins in the brains that reduce stress and anxiety. Note that intense training can raise cortisol. Stick to exercises in your strength level and don’t exercise for more than an hour.
To me, he other 11 was interesting too.
Came home and walked with Jax, and the neighbour Annie for an hour. Enjoy the company on the walks, makes them more interesting getting to talk with someone.
Tomorrow is garbage day, so tonight I got everything together and out. Had to completely clean the cat litter area, wash the containers, floor, and fresh litter. I know, exciting stuff!
I am going to relax, look at the papers, and go to bed.
Til tomorrow
Ta
Monday, October 31, 2016
Joys of Food?
I heard that RH is very, very strict! I am going to go thru my luggage again to make sure that I have NOTHING that will cause me to be kicked out. I really want to be there for the 21 days. It does have my anxiety a bit on edge because of them being so strict, so I just keep believing I will make the 21 days. Went today a bought a PRESTO card for the Go Train and subway. Have a few tokens for the subway in case the Presto card doesn't work there or on the streetcars. Makes it easier then carrying around so much money and tokens. Confirmed my arrival with them - it's all a go!
AJ asked me today what 'last meals' I was still wanting. Basically just Wood Pie in Barrie - they make very good pizza, and if I'm going to have a last pizza, I would like a very good one. Taco Bell taco and a Dairy Queen blizzard. I know, SERIOUSLY Taco Bell?? It's just a maybe, I don't know what else kinda thought. I really can't think of anything else I really want to have. I know we will have bagels - oh that's another one - (not the bagel) but brie cheese. I don't do well with dairy (I know, I know Dairy Queen) and brie cheese will tire me out... but it's cheese! Dairy will be on that list of things with sugar/wheat/grains. It is not something my body likes.
Speaking of - my body doesn't like cucumbers that much either. How interesting. Or radishes. Then again it's radishes - one can live without those!!! Just don't tell AJ I said that. :)
Funny how over time there are foods that the body just doesn't want anymore. I personally have found that with myself. Though I think even as a child I was reacting to foods but didn't know it. I knew as a child I just didn't want to drink milk - white or chocolate. It was something that didn't agree with me. Ice cream and chocolates.... those I could get down. ha ha ha.
Today is Halloween - what a great day as a child!!! Or an adult. :) Didn't buy a box of chocolates - to be honest, I do stare at them at the store. Problem is the boxes have the ones I like in them and have ones I don't like. If I can find them with what I like and AJ likes, that's better. Then again, I really don't need them. Especially considering November 1 - tomorrow, I go see Dr Poon!!!
Ta
AJ asked me today what 'last meals' I was still wanting. Basically just Wood Pie in Barrie - they make very good pizza, and if I'm going to have a last pizza, I would like a very good one. Taco Bell taco and a Dairy Queen blizzard. I know, SERIOUSLY Taco Bell?? It's just a maybe, I don't know what else kinda thought. I really can't think of anything else I really want to have. I know we will have bagels - oh that's another one - (not the bagel) but brie cheese. I don't do well with dairy (I know, I know Dairy Queen) and brie cheese will tire me out... but it's cheese! Dairy will be on that list of things with sugar/wheat/grains. It is not something my body likes.
Speaking of - my body doesn't like cucumbers that much either. How interesting. Or radishes. Then again it's radishes - one can live without those!!! Just don't tell AJ I said that. :)
Funny how over time there are foods that the body just doesn't want anymore. I personally have found that with myself. Though I think even as a child I was reacting to foods but didn't know it. I knew as a child I just didn't want to drink milk - white or chocolate. It was something that didn't agree with me. Ice cream and chocolates.... those I could get down. ha ha ha.
Today is Halloween - what a great day as a child!!! Or an adult. :) Didn't buy a box of chocolates - to be honest, I do stare at them at the store. Problem is the boxes have the ones I like in them and have ones I don't like. If I can find them with what I like and AJ likes, that's better. Then again, I really don't need them. Especially considering November 1 - tomorrow, I go see Dr Poon!!!
Ta
Sunday, October 30, 2016
The MEgan Heart
Sigh. My MEgan heart is at it again. I'll be interested to see how this plays out in my life over the years to come. (For those reading, or don't remember, MEgan is not the girl name, but my desire to be a vegan but yet having meat in my mouth).
I continue to look at vegan recipes. The aka idea of Food Porn I guess. I can see at this point, I will eventually go back to more being vegan. Maybe even totally!
I'm not going to get into the discussion of meat vs vegan vs vegetarian etc. I believe that's something each person has to know in their own hearts. Yes, one needs to be informed.
Besides, I went to a shop offering How to Become a Vegan class. It really was WHY to become a Vegan class. They showed gross pictures. I think when I put my fingers in my ears, closed my eyes, and lalalalalala'd to myself - they talked louder and later glared at me. Never went back. Really lost a customer. That wasn't why I was there. I didn't need that. I'm too soft-hearted with animals as it is. It pains me. Enough on that.
I do look for friendly, grass-fed meats. There are some places around here that offer that. Being low carb means most protein does come from meat. Especially starting off on low carb. My hope is once I'm at my weight, I am able in to re-introduce more plant proteins without weight gain. Only time will tell with this.
Some days I feel much better with just the veg meals, seems it's easier on my stomach. Today I feel kinda doped and burny - had dairy and salsa yesterday. Not in the mood or have the energy to do much today. Still have some outside work to finish before I go. Counting down the days.
Do you know what they call Bacon? The Vegan Killer. ha ha I thought that was funny when I heard it. Think it was on Eat: The Story of Food. Still watching food movies. Can't find anymore on Sugar, and that Carb one. Guess I will have to check with the library if they have them. Tomorrow is VON exercises. That will help with getting me into they yard in the afternoon.
As Poon will probably say; Eat those Greens!
I continue to look at vegan recipes. The aka idea of Food Porn I guess. I can see at this point, I will eventually go back to more being vegan. Maybe even totally!
I'm not going to get into the discussion of meat vs vegan vs vegetarian etc. I believe that's something each person has to know in their own hearts. Yes, one needs to be informed.
Besides, I went to a shop offering How to Become a Vegan class. It really was WHY to become a Vegan class. They showed gross pictures. I think when I put my fingers in my ears, closed my eyes, and lalalalalala'd to myself - they talked louder and later glared at me. Never went back. Really lost a customer. That wasn't why I was there. I didn't need that. I'm too soft-hearted with animals as it is. It pains me. Enough on that.
I do look for friendly, grass-fed meats. There are some places around here that offer that. Being low carb means most protein does come from meat. Especially starting off on low carb. My hope is once I'm at my weight, I am able in to re-introduce more plant proteins without weight gain. Only time will tell with this.
Some days I feel much better with just the veg meals, seems it's easier on my stomach. Today I feel kinda doped and burny - had dairy and salsa yesterday. Not in the mood or have the energy to do much today. Still have some outside work to finish before I go. Counting down the days.
Do you know what they call Bacon? The Vegan Killer. ha ha I thought that was funny when I heard it. Think it was on Eat: The Story of Food. Still watching food movies. Can't find anymore on Sugar, and that Carb one. Guess I will have to check with the library if they have them. Tomorrow is VON exercises. That will help with getting me into they yard in the afternoon.
As Poon will probably say; Eat those Greens!
Saturday, October 29, 2016
After reading Poonapalooza
Feeling better...able to ramble!
I finished reading the past journey of Leigh - Poonapalooza and Punchapalooza - it is truly inspiring for me what is wrote. It really helped me to remind me that I will need to completely let go of sugar/wheat/grains. I needed to sit for weeks and hours and read her complete journey. Now I also follow her FaceBook page.
Ironically reading her story is similar to going to an AA or OA meeting and listening to someone share their life experience. I guess that's why I found her blog so enlightening, I can relate. She writes of understanding that she binge eats and learns her limits, of what motivated her and the whats of life.
I have moved on to other blogs, but they aren't as lasting as Poonapalooza or as ...delightful.... it's about the only word I can currently think of. They are helpful as I can see where they are coming off the rails in some ways (from my own understanding and limited knowledge - so much easier to see in others then in self!!!!) They write one day being excited of starting and that's it. Came across some that also mention Leigh but then... Just one day, or a few days and they are gone. A few are a little longer. At least I will have something to remind me of the journey if I run into challenges. Well, that and hopefully Dr Poon's Facebook group.
I don't think I will be able to do the exercises as Leigh does. It does cause me to WANT to as I read what she's doing, but I hear my body screaming no! Not in a way that says no exercise, but more in a way that says I can't do that much, too extreme for my body. I don't see me even wanting! to run long distance in the rain, snow, sleet, freezing cold or even on a nice day. Maybe a nice day little sprint would be fine - as in a few houses while walking. Did that before in my years of exercising for hours, and some backwards walking - but not hours of running, it's just not in me.
When I think of the VON smart exercise program - I get a thumbs up from my body, when I think of my rebounder - thumbs up, I remembered a DVD I have from a wrestler - Diamond Dallas Page's DDP Yoga (This Aint Your Mama's Yoga) - thumbs up, Kellogg's DVD Core Strength and Flexibility DVD (from AJ - years ago when Kellogg's was giving them away, before we even met) - thumbs up, and my Beginner's Yoga DVD - that get's an eh: a limpy thumb. Funny how DDP Yoga is oh yeah, and regular Yoga is limpy. I think because DDP has that core strength workout. I've had those DVD's for 3 years - saw it one night late, and said to AJ: I'm ordering that. Then promptly put it away. (Hopefully for this time!) Walking, gardening and light snow shoveling also get thumbs up. Heavy snow shoveling requires me calling Jason to come help me. So in the end I do have some very good exercise programs to come home to. There is also the gym if need be.
Leigh is now training for boxing. That sounds.... sorta sexy to me. I'd like to do that, but there are kettle bells to lift and my previous teared shoulders yell - H*ll no way!!!
I don't mind the sweating. The whole idea though, - which I already did know is - just do what works for you. Same as she's able to eat tomatoes and eggplants, I just burn for hours if I eat those. It's following your own path. Do what gets you to your own goals and dreams. Enjoy the journey of it, live all out. I think Leigh would agree with that.
I finished reading the past journey of Leigh - Poonapalooza and Punchapalooza - it is truly inspiring for me what is wrote. It really helped me to remind me that I will need to completely let go of sugar/wheat/grains. I needed to sit for weeks and hours and read her complete journey. Now I also follow her FaceBook page.
Ironically reading her story is similar to going to an AA or OA meeting and listening to someone share their life experience. I guess that's why I found her blog so enlightening, I can relate. She writes of understanding that she binge eats and learns her limits, of what motivated her and the whats of life.
I have moved on to other blogs, but they aren't as lasting as Poonapalooza or as ...delightful.... it's about the only word I can currently think of. They are helpful as I can see where they are coming off the rails in some ways (from my own understanding and limited knowledge - so much easier to see in others then in self!!!!) They write one day being excited of starting and that's it. Came across some that also mention Leigh but then... Just one day, or a few days and they are gone. A few are a little longer. At least I will have something to remind me of the journey if I run into challenges. Well, that and hopefully Dr Poon's Facebook group.
I don't think I will be able to do the exercises as Leigh does. It does cause me to WANT to as I read what she's doing, but I hear my body screaming no! Not in a way that says no exercise, but more in a way that says I can't do that much, too extreme for my body. I don't see me even wanting! to run long distance in the rain, snow, sleet, freezing cold or even on a nice day. Maybe a nice day little sprint would be fine - as in a few houses while walking. Did that before in my years of exercising for hours, and some backwards walking - but not hours of running, it's just not in me.
When I think of the VON smart exercise program - I get a thumbs up from my body, when I think of my rebounder - thumbs up, I remembered a DVD I have from a wrestler - Diamond Dallas Page's DDP Yoga (This Aint Your Mama's Yoga) - thumbs up, Kellogg's DVD Core Strength and Flexibility DVD (from AJ - years ago when Kellogg's was giving them away, before we even met) - thumbs up, and my Beginner's Yoga DVD - that get's an eh: a limpy thumb. Funny how DDP Yoga is oh yeah, and regular Yoga is limpy. I think because DDP has that core strength workout. I've had those DVD's for 3 years - saw it one night late, and said to AJ: I'm ordering that. Then promptly put it away. (Hopefully for this time!) Walking, gardening and light snow shoveling also get thumbs up. Heavy snow shoveling requires me calling Jason to come help me. So in the end I do have some very good exercise programs to come home to. There is also the gym if need be.
Leigh is now training for boxing. That sounds.... sorta sexy to me. I'd like to do that, but there are kettle bells to lift and my previous teared shoulders yell - H*ll no way!!!
I don't mind the sweating. The whole idea though, - which I already did know is - just do what works for you. Same as she's able to eat tomatoes and eggplants, I just burn for hours if I eat those. It's following your own path. Do what gets you to your own goals and dreams. Enjoy the journey of it, live all out. I think Leigh would agree with that.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Am I alive?
Uh. This is going to be short again today. Half way thru the night I got a blippen headache. (weather probably) Took Jax out for a pee at 5am, took an Advil and went back to bed. Don't take much more then an Advil because I react to meds often, and even an Advil will have me stoned some days, today is one of them. Had to miss art class today - didn't like that!
This is how my thinking is working today:
This is how my thinking is working today:
So I'm just going to either go back to bed or veg and watch mindless TV shows!
We have to go visit my mother tomorrow and bring our car in for the tire change, which will take most of the day - the drive down and up, the visit and the car. I think there will be no posting tomorrow. Not much is happening anyways, and I'm just going along with the boring daily chores etc needed to be done. Counting down the days.
Oh man is the hail coming down now!!!! Glad I'm not driving anywhere.
Til the weekend then.
Ta.
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