The Lure of Chocolate

I was thinking of my chocolate trigger food and what I have been reading in the study book I got.

I know remembering about my trigger food is euphoria of memory and ... ah I don't want to get the study book out, but it's something like the ending of the pain of forgetting.  I am so grateful for what I did learn, and that I could get the books/dvd to help me understand / learn.  And hopefully, because of me, someone with issues going in might not have the problem with them as I had, because they will accept their issues. 

There is a slight resentment there towards them at RH, but I also know I got what I needed.  If I keep thinking I missed something important, then I will build that resentment and lose my abstinence. (14 days! yeah)  What I need to do is read the Big Book of AA page 417 on acceptance is the answer, then trust my Divine Spirit will lead me to any more important information I need in my journey. My next resentment to work on is, my tea tastes BLAH without more stevia.....!  ha ha ha  The stevia is acceptable on Dr Poon's list, I'm just wanting to cut it down a lot.

Back to the chocolate thoughts - I haven't figured out if cocoa is triggering as I mentioned earlier. I really don't think it does. When I was walking Jax, it occurred to me that years ago, I didn't have trouble with it in general. and I read about combination foods triggering the other day.  I wondered if that was what it was with cocoa / chocolate.  It's the combination of cocoa, sugar, fats, and the extras they add that trigger me to no end. Well, that and it being my go to as a small child..... which I think made it become my trigger.  Just like some can't have bread because it reminds them of their grandma's baking bread memory, though they are fine with other types of dough foods. Sometimes there's a lot in just a little thing.   Explains too why when I would make my own 'chocolate' it was eh ok, and I didn't go back for it.  Basically made it with nutbutter, cocoa and stevia.  Apparently big business mixes sugar/fats/salt together to get people hooked on a product.  They look for that combination that hits a person's sweet spot just enough to keep them wanting more, but not enough to overly have them notice.  Hence the just can't eat one potato chip plan.

I didn't make it to the meeting last night because of the weather, more on the windy, falling snow then on a storm.  I choose wisely to avoid as much night driving as possible.  I spoke with the person listed for the meeting, she reminded me about on line meetings, and talks to listen to, like - A Vision 4 You.  Going to listen to one today when AJ goes to exercise. Other then walking, I'm avoiding exercise per advice from RH when detoxing the 3 weeks.

Today's food plan is:
B - 2 hard boiled egg whites, (AJ got the yolks) 1 leftover egg muffin, slice of oopsie with cream cheese and mustard, 2 tsp of chia pudding.  Tea (that needed more stevia...)
L - chicken/bacon slaw, tea
D - pork steak, broccoli, salad and dressing, tea 
S - rest of chia pudding, somewhere will be a slice of oopsie/cheese again probably, haven't decided where/when.

I'm off to go listen to those podcasts.

Ta