Sunny Sunday

Not much happening.  That guy who saw the house last Wednesday came back with an offer.  So that's 2 people that saw this house, and 2 people that have put in offers.  His was even lower in $$$$$$$$$$ then the first one.  Seriously???? But this one didn't have selling his house condition, just home inspection.  We sent it back with a higher price.  And he wanted the sauna!  ha ha.  I've been trying to sell that for years, so I was fine with it going with the house.  He's to get back today (4pm) about the price change.  If not, we will just continue to wait for the next person to make an offer.

I am calmer.  The homeopathic pills and drops have helped.  Continuing on an IP / Poon eating.  At least I'm not going crazy anymore with the eating or foods. Seeing Marly tomorrow, and Jacqui got back to me - see her Tuesday.  Still weighing, down 1 lbs from yesterday.

We got new cell phones, which I've had to re-learn.  And yesterday we got new computers.  More re-learning.  Had to bring the computer back as when they downloaded the extra megs the sound wire wasn't re-attached, apparently.  Back to the old computer for a few more days.  Good thing we kept our old ones. The guy has to come by on Thursday to look at AJ's computer as it's having issues with staying in Windows 10.  Keeps going back to Windows 7, need to remove that.  AJ's screen is so big I can read it from my seat!  He needs a screen big enough for him to see.  Mine's a 15 in compared to 17 in.  When we move, we are thinking I might get a big screen to attach to - if I'm not having my computer on this movable table.  Will see.

Beautiful day.  Want to go water the flowers later, and wash the bird feeder area / feeders.  Other then that, just waiting for answers....or offers.

Nerves and Disappointment

Ouch.  I went to the Nerve Doc.  He did testing.  Basically electric impulses and then needles into the muscles.  I'm fine, as I suspected.  I knew nothing would come thru - usually what happens.  I do apparently still have minor carpal tunnel in my right arm.  I use to have it very bad when I worked.

The electric impulses hurt, but when he put the needle into my shin muscle, I semi-jumped and started seriously crying.  It was painful.  He asked why I was crying.  Duh, it hurt.  Asked if I wanted to stop.  It took me a bit, but I was able to stop crying and continue.  He continued putting the needle into my right leg, then my right arm, and one in my back.  The back one is causing me trouble with breathing today.  The rest of the needle spots still ache.  I'm sore because of all of it.

I'm not in a good place since yesterday.

I went to bed the other night, and had taken some Ignatius homeopathic pills. Have been taking them more often.  It helps calm my thinking, also works on grief.  I was sleeping, and then woke about an hour later, I heard the word - disappointment.  I thought about about that and realized I'm disappointed.  I'm disappointed about the selling of the house taking so long (the guy liked our house/price but not the back yard.  The woman liked our house, put the conditional offer in which wasn't good for us, and the couple liked our house but wasn't ready to move - then why look?)  I'm disappointed that I can't make an offer on a house/move until we sell.  I'm disappointed with myself at being so upset/impatient etc.  I'm disappointed with me eating!  I'm disappointed I will not continue with IP as I should.  Though today I'm back on IP.  I'm disappointed I have gained some of the weight.  I'm disappointed  I don't take it seriously enough to really push myself thru and continue to my goal weight.  I'm disappointed I'm just eating whatever.  I'm disappointed with life.  I'm seriously down about things.  I'm not in a good place because of all this.  And the electric / needles didn't help - hurt physically which also pushed onto my emotions and sadness.

I thought of taking some homeopathic pills for disappointment.  The girl at the health store didn't know enough, but suggested (via the book) on Ignatius!!!  ha ha ha.  Got some more as I was running out.

Slept last night a bit better.  That helped.  I'm still tired this morning and going to go for a nap after this.  Nothing else planned for the day - it's only 1130am!  At least the weather is comfortable and nice.  Wish someone would make an offer - that is acceptable! - so we could go to London and look.  Found quite a few I'd like to look at.  Everything in it's own time.........

Rain

Cool day, now it's raining.  Weekend will be sunny, and then sunny for the rest of the week......apparently.

We had someone come in today to see the house.  No reply yet - hopefully tomorrow there will be good news.  This waiting is boring, and time consuming. Also doesn't do well - puts me on edge.  I cleaned and polished the house.  I pulled weeds outside and tidied what I could.  I need to stop that.  I end up eating over it.  By last night I was munching on Poon foods too much.  Today because we were out all day, AJ needed to get new pants.  HE of course, loses weight easily.  I did get a few tops/pants too.  One pant was a bit tight, it was a large. The medium didn't fit, and the extra large was too big.  The large fit the best, but still that just a bit tight feeling.  Was on sale, so I bought it - also praying I will fit better in them asap.  Jax went into daycare.  We had breakfast out, lunch out, and dinner take home. Back to IP tomorrow.

I get to take a shower tomorrow too!  So glad I can get this tape off me.  It's painful.  Suppose to keep the halter on until 3pm, but will take it off at 8am and shower.  I need to go to PetValu (seniors day), drop off the halter, and pick up some IP foods and head to my next test - nerve doc.  Need to remember to put on socks and runners for that.  They want my feet warm.

I hate when I go off plan, I GO off plan.  When I'm on IP I'm basically fine.  I wonder why that is.  I know it's not like I can live off plan like crazy.  I wonder if it's because I know I still want to lose 30 more pounds, and I need to get back on it so I some how think it's a get it in before I stop idea.  Whatever the reason - it's not go enough to continue.  Neither is the stress / anxiety over selling or moving acceptable to go off plan. Inside me says, eh, whatever.  How interesting.  Will bring that up at my appointment with Marly on Monday!

Those two days I was on IP / Poonish - dropped 4 lbs.  Probably found a few today.  Strongly recommend to anyone - this is not the way to do it!!!!!  Just continue and don't cheat.  Get to your goal.  Even though my original goal was 180 lbs (at 184 lbs) my new goal is still 155 lbs.  Maybe that's what I need to work on  -  that 155 lbs vs 180 lbs idea.  Still not acceptable to stay at 180 lbs for me.  Time to clear that out too!

I'm ready for bed.  Long day.  Night.

Monday Update

Ok day.  Not much happening the last few days.  Not much to say.  I started IP yesterday.  So far, eh, ok.  Basically still on it, minor Poon add ons.  Content on it.  Eventually plan (?) to do more and more IP only.  By 4pm I'm tired and down. That's probably detox and I shouldn't be Pooning it.

I started back too on daily scaling.  That is a big help for me.  I knew I'd go up 5 lbs, but the other 4 lbs ticked me off.  I'm down 2 lbs today.  I am staying away from the fast foods and junk foods.  So I figure adding a bit more veg or meat isn't that bad.

One of the things I packed is the food scale.  So I can't weigh my foods.  I tried looking at the dollar store for a cheap one, nothing.  I am eyeballing bascially. After 8 months of doing diet / 3 months of weighing, I have some idea of measures.  Not that I won't go over - I have to watch the jicama sizes as that one always has thrown me when I'd weigh it, and realize how small 1 cup or 1/2 cup would be.  I'm not over hungry.  More munchy / tired eating.  Again, something I need to watch.  I do have another appointment with Marly next Monday.

B - 1/3 of IP shake / coffee

L - IP muffins / cucumbers / zucchini and egg / IP nacho chips / tea

S - 2/3 of shake

D - jicama / turkey cups (made them a while ago and just heated 2 up) / swiss chard/mushrooms / salba square (Poon treat) / tea

S - 3/3 of shake and will probably have something IP

That makes it 4 IP packages (should be 3, but 4 is allowed the first week - yeah that's pushing it, I know), and 1 Poon snack.  I don't think I'm over 4 cups veg or over 8 oz meat. Need to get that water back in though.  Trying to remember that. The shake has a lot of water in it, and same with the tea - so not too bad.

This week I have a lot of testing appointments.  Today was echo / stress / halter monitor - all on my heart.  I wonder if there's something going on as the echo tech called me back to re-test a lower left corner.  I have the halter on for 3 days. It's a preventive measure as parents have heart conditions, and my RA doc wanted to confirm nothing going on with my heart.

Next, tomorrow morning I have an ultrasound on my stomach.  I think it's my yearly gallbladder ultrasound.  Really don't expect my polyp to be bigger, or any more gall stones.  Since I've been Pooning/IPing, I haven't had gallbladder issues.  So that will be nothing happening there.

Then I got a call today that the nerve doc had a cancellation for Thursday.  I forgot about having to go see him.  Originally I would be going in October/ November per the secretary.  This Thursday I will go for tests etc.  Must have socks and running shoes on to have warm feet / and clean feet.... either you get warm or clean in the summer..... ha ha ha.  But I will wash and put on socks/ runners and go see them.  They will be testing my nerves due to the RA doc requesting it because of those blood levels being so high.  (Is it my heart or my muscles or my nerves????)  If it's muscle, I might have to have a biopsy too.  I wonder if all of this is coming up so quickly and now because we are moving! That would be great.  Guessing though, that I will end up dealing with any results more so in the new town then here. (hopefully)  

Nothing on the moving/selling/buying.  Saw another interesting house, but we aren't going down until we know we've sold this house.  So I just watch and look.

That's about it for today.

Nope, Not Taking It

Finally got that offer from the person who looked at our place on Wednesday. First it was too low in $$, and second it was based on them selling their house. Which in itself, isn't the worse thing in the world - except they have listed their house very, very, very high for the area it's in.  Our agent was surprised at the listing.  Then there was a very long end date.  I don't want to move at the end of October/November.  So, back it went, and we didn't sign it off.

They can sell and then come back.  They might find another house here they like better / less price, but then again, we could find another person to buy too. There was another couple that came on the open house (which finally was listed) they liked the house too except they haven't sold their place either and aren't all that ready to move.  I told our agent that they drove back home, decided to list their house and will be back next week to buy our place!  She laughed but agreed that would be great.

I told AJ tonight that I was so F*N DONE!  My pants are tight, I don't like the feeling, and I'm ready to do this again.  I'm calmer with selling and looking at buying.  I'm just looking because I'm wanting to keep up to date with it.  But I'm done with the foods.  I was at the Bulk Barn today, I was looking to see what I could get, and all of it was uninteresting to me.  I realized I'm just not that interested anymore - the stress level is low/gone, and seriously do I really want the foods more then the weight loss?  I picked up a few things for AJ and Jax, and a couple of things (very few - 4 chocolate caramel squares) and that was it. Again I realized I was done with the foods.  I can see myself going back.

The other night I had a dream and in the dream I was swearing all over the place that I wanted to go back into the white energy stream I saw.  There was another energy stream, but I wasn't interested in it anymore, and I was swearing that I wanted that 'one'.  I woke realizing / sensing it had to do with the foods and weight loss and IP etc.  I wanted back in.

We have another open house tentatively scheduled for August 19, 2017. Hopefully we wont need to do it again.  The cats were looking at us from the cage in the car wondering why we were driving around and then sitting there. We did drive to the other person's place as we found out their street and saw their house.  Nice, but again as I wrote - in a bit of a dumpy area down the street from them.  Oh well.... those other people will come back to us with a perfect offer!  😀

Sad

I'm in a sad place today.  I'm just sad all over.  Went to art class - sad I'm going to be no longer going there when we move.  Sad at no longer having that contact with the women I have come to be comfortable with.  I know I could possibly find another art class where we move to.

I'm sad about having to leave all the contacts I've made here - doctors, Jacqui, Marly, art class, few neighbours.  My purple house..... -correction, THE purple house.  I look a few times at places closer, where AJ would have access to things, the houses are just way out of our price range.  Even townhouses.  End up back in the London area.  Even thinking of adding St Thomas back on the list, as if we get into the more main area we will be better - AJ says they have 8 Tim Hortons!

I'm sad that we are having trouble with our open house plans.  On realtor it does not show that we are having an open house this weekend/Saturday at 1030am. But it does show our agent's other listing's open house at 1230pm and another open house listed for 1pm in our area.  At least we are in the paper.  We had someone come thru at dinner time last night, haven't heard anything.  I had hoped we wouldn't have to do the open house (because the house would be sold by then) so we wouldn't have to take the cats out - they are weirded out by all the constant cleaning as it is!

Today I'm sad about all the moving, selling, looking - instead of hoping, I'm just eh, if it happens, it happens, when it happens.  But I also know, I'm one that ok we made this decision move, lets get going with it.  Move along the sale of this place to SOLD, and lets get looking at where/houses we are going to.  I don't want to wait these next 2 1/2 months having this house listed/not sold/waiting to sell only to have it taken off the market and put back on in the spring.  I don't want to drag out the boxes with coats and boots etc out/open them for the winter at this place.  Let's get going Spirit!  I also know everything in it's right time, and we will have everything happen in perfect order.

I'm sad that I'm struggling with the foods.  I start off ok in the morning but end up eating all over the place by the evening.  Last night we ended up for dinner at the beach (had to get take out as we had to get out of the house) with ribs/wings, and went for ice cream.  Seriously!!!!  What the f* is wrong with me?  This morning started with IP shake/spinach.  At art class had coffee, brownies, bit of cheese.  Sigh.

I'm also sad because before bed last night I took some homeopathic pills to help me relax from the anxiety.  They blah me down.  So I feel sad.  I could cry.  I must be irritating you by all this whining I'm doing!!!  I'm irritated by it.  I don't have the patience for me to be so wishy-washy with the eating.  Either f*n do it, or quit b*tching about it!!!  Makes me sad.  ha ha ha.

Going to plan for Sunday - back to IP or at least IP breakfast and dinner/snacks, and a Poon lunch.  Yah, ok, I know, I've been saying these things for the past 2 weeks.  Isn't that sad?  🙀😜

Plan and Move

Yesterday's appointment with Marly was wonderful!  So helpful and insightful!

I explained she was right about us moving - before we even knew or thought about moving.  I explained about the driving up and down and being so long and busy at it.  That I intentionally went off the rails - knowing I was stopping my IP or Poon eating.  I ate at Tim's and Wendy's a lot - especially donuts and frostys. She asked if I was eating more sugar and salt.  Yes... I had started wanting and eating fries.

Marly explained that because of all the mental thinking etc my body wants and needs sugar.  Because of the driving, physical etc my body wants salt.  Hence the desire and need for sweets and salt.  Explained every time I was punishing myself for wanting it, instead of just accepting and knowing this is what my body needs, those punishing times caused more issues then my eating the food.

I also realized there were times that I was totally fine with my choices - donuts and all, and other times I wasn't.  The times I was fine - my weight didn't move. Only when I felt upset / guilty etc did I gain some weight.  (still at the 5 pounds up)  I like IP as it's more compatible with me.  Even though I went to Poon for a weigh in. (down on Poon 5 lbs, but up 5 lbs on IP)  I can do IP shakes in the morning, even muffins, but by the end of the day, I'm leaning towards Poons if anything.  I think I will stay on that track as I am just not focused and stressed about selling.  I could cry as I'm not good at waiting.  I just need to do something with the foods - not go crazy with it.

She realigned my bars.  I feel much more peaceful.  She reminded me to run my bars myself when I need to, and call her if I need.  I have booked appointments with her every 2 weeks until the end of August.

We talked about the moving.  She said she saw things all happening in September.  As in we sold, and move in September.  So having an open house this weekend - could possibility bring in a buyer, and by the end of July we have settled the selling part of this house (no longer our house - I am remembering to remove myself from this house).  We then continue to look for a house, find it - she felt more Strathroy, (and a red brick house, with white shutters) - and move into our new house in September.  That works for me!!!  YES!!!

Oh, I pray this weekend / next week we have this house sold!!

There it Goes

We quickly went back down to Strathroy / north of London.  There was a house that peered perfect for us.  It was all on one floor and a basement completed. We questioned some black mold looking stuff.  Later confirmed it wasn't an issue. So we put in an offer.  There was another couple that also put in an offer.

I felt the house was energy wise heavy and would need a spiritual cleansing.  I felt the house was perfect for us, as in the layout etc.  But I just didn't feel like it was really the house for us.  I just didn't feel like we would be there long - for the rest of our lives.

When our agent called this morning and said we didn't get the house, the other couple offered more.  I wasn't willing to go higher with $$.  It was actually a relief.  Agent said she was surprised we put in an offer, and that it just didn't appear I was in love with the house - there was no emotion about it.  Usually she could read me as to whether I liked the house or not.

We decided to focus on selling our house.  That way we know the amount of money we have for a house.  We are also just going to look for houses that meet all our requirements.

Also, I'm tired of the foods.  I feel like I'm eating more and more basically because we are eating out, and the serving is more then I can eat - and I eat it all because of the cost.  Really have to work on that one.

I can't decide if I want to go back to Ideal Protein or back to Poon.  Poon offers a bit more choice of foods especially with any traveling.  I like IP more in the food as I like the control and taste of the foods more.  But then again, some of the Poon food is good too.  Sigh.

I have an appointment with Marly tomorrow - so glad about that.  I will ask her for some guidance about it.  I have been very tired with all the driving back and forth, and the foods.

I also think I don't want to live in Strathroy.  I like Tillsonburg best, and then London.

Currently there are 7 houses for sale here in the area we live.  We are the highest priced.  Hopefully we will sell soon.  And I can figure out what I want to do with the foods - IP/Poon......

Rain and Then Some

UGH!  It POURED!  Big time as we drove down to London.  Rained all the way. Sometimes it was blinding rain.  Was stressful, but we made it in perfect time. The first house was so perfect.  Exactly what we wanted, but it backed onto a major road - that continuous noise would not be healing for me.  I wish we could have moved the house to another location.  It was only 14 yrs old, and sparkly clean, neat and well maintained.

The second house that we liked was lovely.  Older, nice, on a quiet street. Backed onto houses with kids. (not really for me) Was a bit more run down, but still lovely.  Wrong location too.  Was in another city, as we drove around the city there we realized this was not for us.  There was no real place for AJ to go - even though it had transit. Both houses were on the high end of our pricing.  First one we would have to go a bit over to get the bid thru (per the agent), the other would cost us too much to fix it up in a way that would work for us.  So we let both go. And drove home. Mostly ok drive, some rain, and more traffic.  Picked Jax up at 5pm.  Left at 7am.

We stopped at Tim's for dinner.  Last night I didn't sleep well - had about 2 - 3 hour sleeps.  Then 2 - 3 hour drives.  I did bring IP shakes, and meal replacement bar.  Did end up at Tim's too for chili/bagel/donut/cookie.  Frozen cherries and IP snack bar at home. The shakes and meal replacement bar were helpful.  Tim's wasn't a good choice, but I was so wiped/spaced out I went to food to keep awake.  I can see that being off IP/Poon will be challenging for me - especially at the moment.

Our current house is listed - as of yesterday.  Today I'm already ready to lower the price as we have listed very high.  I could cry on wanting it sold, and I am stressed over the waiting and the uncontrollable/unknown guessing price. Our buying also hings on how much we get from the sale of the house.  We could go a bit higher if we sell higher, but if we go lower then we have to buy lower of course.

When we got home tonight....there were new houses listed.  And there were 2 well within our lower price!  They looked perfect, and the location looked good too.  Ugh.  Now what.  I had thought when we drove home that we would back off looking until we sold, but these houses are in our price range - do we let them go and hope for others in our price, or go and look?  I know there will always be houses.  At first we were thinking of driving down tomorrow again, or on the weekend.  We decided we will go on Tuesday.  If the houses are gone, then they weren't for us.  They do need some work from what we can see.  We also decided we needed to see around 5 houses - otherwise we will wait.

I called my mother yesterday and told her we were moving / and why. Eventually she was semi-ok.  My sister emailed me a very, very short email that said good luck.  She sounded pissed/upset about it, probably because it upset mom. Wonderful - no wonder I didn't want to say anything to them.  AJ's family was much better about the move - they were more acceptable about it.

Well that's about it for the moment.  This house is perfectly clean....it's pouring rain out.....Jax is wiped (from all that doggy daycare playing today)....... I'm very full and tired and there's nothing I can do but wait for the next move. ha ha ha

Night.

Listing

I am so ready for bed.  Last night I could feel my fibro points throbbing.  I didn't mention that to AJ as he would insist I don't do anything.  I packed 45 boxes - and moved them into the shed.  Our shed is a few houses up, had to put them on a trolley and pull them up.  I was able to get about 36 of the boxes in there.  The rest I stuffed around the house, in the closets.  Did this all in 3 days.

Then I called the woman who comes to clean for us once in a while.  She was scheduled to come this morning.  And at 8am she called and said she couldn't come.  Thanks a lot!  I just she just didn't want to do move cleaning.  The real estate agent was coming in at 2pm this afternoon.

AJ cleaned the kitchen, and I booted around - dusting, windows, vacuuming, mopping, and bathroom.  Remember AJ had a stroke, basically uses one hand, and is balanced challenged.  So him only in the kitchen was a big help.  He really work hard - I could see he was trying to do a great job that I would like, instead of just 'clean' it up idea.  I told him how wonderful he did.  I hope he felt good about it.  It really did help me.  He wanted to do the kitchen and bathroom like he usually does, but better.  (Those two rooms are ones he can clean).  I was so glad he did the kitchen, as I would still have to do the tub.

I finished at 12, and got into the shower - and re-cleaned the tub.  I went to weigh in with IP.  I am up 1 lbs.  Considering I'm basically eating Wendy's / Timmy's and IP/Poon bits.  Laura asked what happened.  I told her I can't focus on IP/weight loss with cleaning/selling/looking for a home.  We are on the road too much, and too busy.  Though now that this house is completely clean (!) and set to be listed tomorrow morning, I should have a bit more time.  Problem is, can't mess the kitchen too much.

We are going back down to London/St Thomas/Ingersoll on Thursday.  Hopefully just for the day.  I am going to bring Jax in with food just in case.  I spoke with Steph (real estate agent here) and she said it was ok that the cats would be in the house, they could still show it.  That is a big help!  We can travel and still show the house.  For the open house - planned for next Saturday - we will remove the cats.  I so pray we will sell quickly and for the perfect price.

Walking Jax this afternoon with Anne I found a PENNY! I laughed.  I told Anne that we sold our house for a pretty penny!  ha ha ha.  That's great.  Pennies are not something one finds much anymore - a rarity.

As for food - it's Wendy's / Tim's or IP.  Wendy's is mostly salads.  Tim's is donuts and coffee.  IP is quick packages or shakes.  Tonight, I feel like some chips (IP) and go to bed.

Night.

Back

We spent 3 days looking at houses.  Almost found 2, but they weren't it.  Lots of driving around, and lots of 'this isn't my house' statements.  We decided instead of looking and not knowing what we are selling/getting for our house, that we would put our house up for sale next week/over next week.  Depends on how fast I can clean....and WHERE to put things!

Spent this morning boxing and putting things in the shed.  I still have lots to do... it's lunch time at the moment.

While we were away, I had given up IP eating.  Ate whatever was around - basically quick food.  Last night, and this morning I decided to go back to IP eating.  It feels better.  I am back to it, and going to look for houses, I will aim to do the best at keeping on it, though I'm not going to be so strict that I over stress about it.  Yes, I did gain about 5 pounds.  Especially since I didn't phase off.  I'm not thrilled, but not surprised or over upset about it.  Not going to focus on working on weight loss, more like aiming to do the program as I can and see what the weight loss will be.

I need to get back to cleaning and boxing.  Til next time.

Ta

Taking a Drive

So we are off tomorrow for a house hunt in the London, On area.  Hopefully something comes of it.  Right now, I should be packing as we are going to stay over night Wednesday, maybe even Thursday.

Because of the driving, moving, staying over, packing, etc - I've put IP on hold.  I am 178 lbs - which is my original goal.  I'm trying to do more Poon Phase 2 - but that is kinda out the window too at the moment.  So, my goal right now is just to maintain it.

Jacqui said my weight issue will be fine - I've gotten a handle on it and will balance out.  Still I'm going to see Marly on July 17th and continue working on things - weight and money.  There is just a bit of me that still wants to eat even though I'm full.  I think that's more because I am allowing myself things, and there's that part that wants it before I say no again.  It is realizing that I'm not going to say no - but that it needs to be in balance.  Example instead of writing or packing, I could get a bar even though I'm full.  I remind myself, when I'm hungry and feel a bar is ok, I will have it, otherwise - no, I'm not hungry, there's no reason to eat anything now.  Drink water.  ha ha ha.

A lot of the houses we wanted to see are gone.  The one house is still there, but the agent says she doesn't think he will go down in price too much.  I'm not doing any biding wars, and I'm not going over our price just for a house.  If it's not acceptable....well then, it's not our house.  End of story.  I do need to remind myself that tomorrow!  I probably won't be blogging until the weekend.  Look for it then.

I'd better get to cleaning, packing, and taking out the garbage....

Perfect

Perfect.  Just perfect.  Things are just perfect.

Been thinking, and talking a lot with AJ about moving.  We are doing it.  Got the pre mortgage approval and are planning this week to go visit Tillsonburg.  It really has come down to AJ's decision to move.  He really can't get around here without me.  I have always felt a little guilty about moving here because of his loss of independence.  But to be fair - he's always maintained he was fine with the decision, and liked living here.  He was semi-lying to me.  And he has not said anything about how he felt really for the last four years.  Hence the lot of talking.  I wanted to be really, really, really clear on his feelings.  I do still have the guilt about moving here, but not that much as he never spoke up either - so that wasn't fair to me.

Still grieving moving.  More so because this house and property are finally in order the way I wanted.  I LOVE my purple house! (Hope someone else will too) And I really grieve moving away from all my rocks/plants/trees.  I wish I could take them all with me.  I told AJ that I will take some rocks with me.  Walked around last night asking who wanted to move with us.  Got a bunch.  I personally moved, lifted, carried, place each rock/stone.  I wish I could take the trees we got for our birthdays 3 years ago.  All the plants I carefully picked and got.  Sigh. 

The other part of me is fine with moving.  I really don't care for the politics around here.  I do want a better backyard.  I would like a roomier house and a concrete not modular house.

Where does perfect come in?

A few nights ago (not sleeping, but thinking of moving etc - ps still doing that), I was thinking of what $$ to sell for and what $$ to buy for so that I could visualize.  I didn't want to limit things and not get the 'right' price.  Then I suddenly remembered a few years ago I read a book that talked on this subject - of visualizing the right thing using moving as an example.  The book writer talked about using the word perfect.  That instead of visualizing a number that might limit use the word perfect.  Because really, in the end what one wants is what is perfect for them.  So, repeat / visualize / think 'we sold this house for the PERFECT price'.  (might even be more then we thought! but at least it will be what we need).  We 'bought our new house for the PERFECT price.  (might have been listed really high, we offered what we could - and surprise they accepted).  

Can even use that perfect for other things, like: I am the perfect weight!  We won a perfect amount of money in the lottery!  

Hence things are perfect with me.  And if you would be willing to send us good thoughts, well, that would be............. just perfect.  😊😊😊😊

Happy Canada Day

Just a quick post.

Will be spending Canada Day in the closet...... cleaning out.  AJ has his scooter all done up and is going to be in the community parade.  He's part of the computer club section.  It will be a nice parade, I'm sure.  Saw it last year.  This year - I need to get started cleaning.  Besides it's very humid out, and I'm fatigued.

Looked at places in London Ontario last night (on the web).  Found 5 that we are going to go see on Wednesday July 5.  Hopefully.

How have I been doing with the food / eating during all this?  Actually well. Though yesterday I was so wiped and nausead that I slept for a while and got up and ate about 5 packages and 1 bread with almond butter and jam.  I'm ok with it. Back on shakes and eggs today.  My weight ate the last weigh in was again another 4 pounds down.  On my scale I'm 179.8 lbs, IP I'm 180.8 lbs.  I did not weigh this morning! ha ha ha.  I kinda think by doing basically shakes and eggs that after 2 weeks I need a bit of food.  On Wednesday I am planning to bring chicken meatballs / shakes / muffins and maybe some jicama if I get my butt out to buy it.  We might also stay overnight, depending on how many houses we see etc.  So I will bring extra packages along.

I'm off to the closet.  For those in Canada - Happy Canada Day.  For those in the States.....well, Happy Canada Day.  (you will need to wait a few more days) 😏