Saturday, December 3, 2016

I'm a Vixen

I'm a Vixen.... no, not one of Santa's reindeer.  When I was at art class the other day, Charlotte saw me and said she liked my new short hair cut.  I mentioned that it was coloured brown with reddish tint along with the streaks.  She said, of course, everyone needs a bit of red in their hair..... it makes you a Vixen.  ha ha ha.  Like it.

This Vixen though has been hungry lately.  Not sure why.  Might be nerves over the weight loss I did have and therefore wanting to eat, or might just be that week of being hungry, or the protein bars.  Either way I need to watch it.  I'm still on Phase 1, even though I was told I could do Phase 2.  I have added the carrots and onions in.  Going to make more Oopsie bread this weekend.  Didn't make any this week and found I was missing something.  I think that the Oopsies helps.

Started my December exercise challenge yesterday.  It's every other day.  Went for a massage (deep tissue one that it's relaxing, more ouch, ooo, ouch type) as my leg has been very painful for the last few weeks.  Takes a while to get an appointment with Jane, she's very busy.  Feels better now but body is tired.
Actually was tired all day.  Also someone posted on Poon Facebook that they wanted to do a 'tapping' challenge for December.  As I know about tapping, (helps with emotional release) I thought that wouldn't be a bad idea to do.  So I'm up for that.  I now need to find my info book on it.  Not sure how she wants to do it, so I will wait and see.  Might also help with the nerves/fears of weight loss and eating.  Actually probably will.

Have been reading about Lupin Flour and looking for recipes.  I have some as it's very low in carb.  Basically looks like bread or muffin ideas.  Something I think for later, need to get to the next weight loss point and appointment to make sure I'm doing well.  That's part of it, I fear I'm not doing well, or going to lose it.  I know I am eating on plan, but there's that voice inside that says I am having too much, or the wrong thing, or it's not right somehow, that I'm going to gain the weight etc.... I fight that more then the cravings as it's more insidious.   The cravings are clear and manageable, but the dark thoughts are harder.  Then I fear I have done something wrong and my weight will be up.  I'm too close to where I started (at 241.5 pounds) which is too easy to get back to.  So I fear the Lupin Flour muffin - even though that would be a good thing to pack and carry with me so I don't go into a craving when I'm not home.

The other day when I only had the 1/2 protein bar for lunch, I was hungry at dinner and I ate.  I noticed when I was eating that I was eating fast.  I just couldn't feel full.  That might be where all this hunger is coming from..... I wonder as I'm typing this.  I know when the body is in starvation mode it A) holds on to weight, B) wants more food because it was starving before and is afraid will again and C) takes a while to trust again.  Ahhhh, light bulb.  I am going to have to carry more foods/better foods with me.  Have to find those portable foods and make sure I have proper meals - or at the very least, enough that rounds out to a sustainable snack.

There was a drink, able to make hot too, on the Poon FB that I tried today.  Was good.  I get tired of tea all the time.  Use to have hot chocolate and Tim's French Vanillas, and now there's just tea.  This one I made hot with almond milk, and PB2, I have some Walden's Caramel so I didn't need to add stevia.  Made jammie day better.  Reminds me too, that I have a recipe somewhere for Turmeric tea.

So, I'm a Vixen.... ha ha ha

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