Cousin

After the class on Sunday........

As I drove home I wondered about my cousin Reg.  She seemed to be unfriendly, semi-angry with me.  I don't really know why.  She was polite in saying hi and bye, but didn't talk to me unless I asked her something - like do you like your present?  

I had given Reg - my small purple paint pour with the fairy in it
My sis - the green mountain pour (which she had liked - and was thrilled to get)
Mom - animal one
Aunt - glued on flower one

Reg said yeah, thanks.  Uhhhh I thought do you really like it/want it cuz if not I'll take it back.  I'm not upset if someone doesn't want a present / art that I made.  I'd rather them say don't like it, here have it back, then yeah thanks and chuck it in the garbage.  I know - a gift is a gift and they can do what they want with it.  My aunt makes a lot of quilty / knitting stuff that I have no use for and would rather not have.  Like knitted dolls - she said she didn't give me one for ? whatever holiday that was, cuz she didn't think I'd want it.  I told her thank you, I think they are lovely (which I really do) but you are right, I have no space for them.  I appreciate you offering and asking.  So I got nothing and sis got knitted dolls - I was fine with that.

Asked Reg if she had vacation this summer and was interested in coming for a visit -she said, I'm so busy at work and besides we have the cottage to go to.    Ok......

I remember as a child that she wasn't thrilled with me.  I remember the very, very few times I was allowed to be at my aunt's house with my cousin (visiting my aunt wasn't something that happened as she worked and on days off didn't want to have me there with Reg to look after.  Sometimes mom would beg her to take me as she needed to be somewhere etc and I would go to play).

Those times at my aunt's - my cousin had really nice toys which I didn't have, like Barbie and Skipper, Woody Woodpecker toy etc.  Reg would be totally p o'd at me wanting to play with her toys.  Even though she got to play with mine.  I even remember saying to her - but you get to play with my toys, can't I even play with one?  She wanted me to just watch her play with them.  Seriously???  She was really ticked when my aunt said to let me play with one..... and I got Skipper - no way could I touch Barbie.

Talking with my cousin has never been anything she's wanted.  It's fine if it's general weather, holidays etc but no way about emotions, feels, health,.......... childhood (!!!!! Hell no!!!!!!)  

As much as I struggle with my sister - at least sis is loving and semi-willing to talk.  She does care about me.  I don't think my cousin does.  I know Reg likes sis and does a lot of this Stampin stuff with her too.  Cousin has always liked sis - even as children, she would rather be with her then me.

I continued to drive and got down about my cousin.  I wondered what I had done.  Which made me realize it goes way back to childhood.  Thought oh great, f*k something else I have to peel off.....  Then I thought no, maybe it's not really about me, not really something I need to work on.  Maybe I could talk with Jacqui and see what her take is on all this.
Emailed her, and will talk with her on Thursday about it.  

Hopefully it's more her issue and I can just let it go / let it be.