Bath

In the bath as I thought about it. I started having thoughts. Here is where I wonder if I'm playing fill in the blanks or whether I was accessing information.

I sensed the word baby. I wondered if the baby was inside or outside of me. And then I wondered if the baby was dead.

I wondered if I stopped the kill of the animal or pig (for some reason I thought/felt it was a pig and not another type of animal) because it was a mother with babies. Did I associate with the mama pig because I was pregnant?

I felt that the male leader was already malicious, despised me, anger came out of him towards everyone.

Then I saw and sensed a cut on my stomach from the chest down words. I wondered if the cut was side to side. But I kept going back to up and down.

I realized then that the leader had gotten two people to hold my arms and another to cut my stomach open. He watched with delight. They ripped out my baby and smashed it. I was still alive and saw it. Then they pulled out my insides as I died. In the end the leader was eating the meat off my ribs.

What I wondered about too was:

Did my soul fragment?
Was there 5 people in the tribe?  (I don't think so, I think there were 8)
Was there 5 times I had been cannibalized - as in past lives?
Are there 5 pieces of me still unresolved/found?

I looked up soul fragment and came up with soul retrieval. I realized that I had found soul retrieval about 10 years ago and wondered then if this applied to me. Now I wonder again.

I emailed Joan on my questions and what had developed in the bath and she replied that she wanted to meditate on it over the weekend.

Here is my email to her:

Hi Joan

No dreams of insight last night.  🤔😥

Questions tho.

In the tub I thought as there was nothing else to do!  

What I thought was:

1.  Baby.  Huh.  Was baby inside or outside of me?  Why baby?  

2.  Why was I willing to scare away food?   Saw pig with babies.  But then we would have eaten the babies too.  AJ (my hubby now) says maybe the mama was pregnant and I knew this.  Was I then pregnant too and understood the feeling?

3.  5.  What was it about 5.  Then I wondered about canabalism and thought it's something that happens.  Thought did I try 5 more times to heal this and ended up being eaten?

4.  Or was there 5 tribe members?  Don't think so.....but did 5 of them eat on me?

Then I saw as I thought about the baby and mama pig. And that I was sad walking but not scared of the leader who was mean, angry, malicious.  When we got back and later there was venom as he talked to me about the afternoon to the point that he told 2 others to hold my arms......I saw someone, not leader but another as leader watched in pleasure, cut me from my chest stomach down.  I don't think they cut me low and across.  I think they took out my baby.  I was still alive and they smashed it.  They pulled out my insides as I died.

5.  Suddenly I wondered if my soul fragmented at this point.  Could the soul fragment?  Did my soul fragment in 5 pieces?  

I looked up soul fragmenting.  I've read about soul retrieval about 10 years ago and wondered if this happened to me then and now I was reading about it again last night.

Other then that I'm content today, almost as I'm lalalalala thinking.

Would you be willing/able to provide me with some insight on these?  Some direction as to if some of this is correct etc?

Would you like a payment too for time spent on this?  I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do next and with these ideas?  

Are they just logical ideas to fit in with the story blanks?  I feel deattached in a way from it all at the moment and wonder about that too.

Please advise if possible.

Thank you so much!

Hugs.

That's where I am now.