Into the Dreams

I'm back.  Had a few days to let things brew.  And yesterday with the wind there was a major power outage.....for hours and hours.......

So,

I sent an email to Joan to let her know what I realized about truth and belief.  She emailed me back and said it's like an onion.  Keep peeling the layers.

Then this morning I was up at 630am.  At first I thought I'd get up as I wasn't that tired, but then decided to go back to bed.  Saw my tablet and thought oh, I'll listen to something.  Decided on remembering.

I dreamed.  I could hear the music, but I was dreaming.  It was another binaural beat then what I started with, knew it had continued to the next 'beat'.  

I remember the last bit of the dream.  I was in a clinic or something.  I had watched two others ...people like co workers, but not co workers, partners but not them either - these two were/are the same as me - as in they are here for the same reason.  They were in the clinic for the same reason I was.  The clinic was the diabetic clinic.  They were authorities.  There were a lot of people walking around, being busy.  The other two left, and I continued to stay, to wander around waiting. I kinda knew I could leave too, but I didn't.  Not exactly sure why, but it was like I was keeping myself there because ?????  Like I felt I couldn't leave because I hadn't been cleared, and dammit I wasn't leaving until then.  I was there a long, long time. And I was upset that I was still wandering, waiting around, that no one was coming out.  Finally a guy happened to be passing me and noticed.  He asked why I was there.  I told him they hadn't given me my report to leave.  He said he would go and look into it for me.  He asked why I just didn't leave.  I told him I couldn't.  He walked off as I was saying they forgot about me.  I was completely, utterly devastated and distraught that I cried so deeply that I woke up.  I couldn't hold the dream because of the emotions of being forgotten, abandoned, left behind.  Mostly forgotten about.  

I struggled for a while after I got up with that dream, feeling.  Eventually the day got better.
Ended up doing a lot of physical work.  Put in the last of the border in the front, cleaned out some weeds in the front garden too.  Then we went for lunch and to buy some river rocks for the other side of the driveway.  They said they would deliver the rocks that evening.  Came back got things ready for the rocks.....after dinner he showed, and I moved rocks.

So thankful they young boy across the street came and helped.  So did the other two younger ones.  Got half the side done with their help.  Gave them a few dollars. Only did half as it was going to rain, and I didn't have anymore black weed control rolls left.  Have to get those tomorrow and finish off.  Older/single boy who first came said he'd help me.  I think his name is Bryon.  Don't remember the other two's names.  Tossed some grass seed down as it was raining and did the dinner dishes.

Was wiped, and stiff!  Had also taken Jax to the dog park in the morning.

So far it looks like I have:  truth, belief, being forgotten.  Abandoned and left behind are in there too, but it's more the forgotten that I feel was the issue.

I find it interesting too that it was the diabetic clinic - blood and sugar.  (and pee.....kidneys, and usually weight loss is another sign - which as we know.... doesn't tend to be up there on my list of things happening!  ha ha ha)