Craving Change

I started going to a class - 3 classes - on Tuesday about Craving Change in weight.  I have one more class coming up this Tuesday.  The class is interesting.  It was suggested by the NP and AJ encouraged me to go.  I'm glad I did.  Not that it's doing anything to motivate me to lose weight again.  I find it very amusing that I go early enough to go to Shopper Drug Mart, which is next door and I get a box of Milk Duds.  Yeah, Milk Duds.  I don't know why other then it's that physiological resentment of someone telling me I have to lose weight so I eat.  NOT that someone is telling me to lose weight.  And it's weird because I don't go over to Shoppers, which is close to the house, to get Milk Duds other times.  Milk Duds are only sold there.  They are one chocolate that I never tried until about 2 weeks before we left the old place and I popped into a gas station and saw them.

Back to the class... last class they mentioned about loving yourself at any size.  I spoke up about that and said if they had a course on that, I would come to it.  They then told me about a book called Health At Every Size.  I have ended up buying the book, I haven't gotten past page 3.  I will continue reading it.  I also decided I would talk to the one social worker running the course (along with a dietitian) to help me learn to love myself at every size.

I remember struggling with my size even when I was 180 lbs.  I still wanted to lose more wait - to get to 150 lbs.  I thought it was because I always believed I was to be that weight, 150 lbs.  Now I'm realizing it might not have been enough as I couldn't be happy at 180 lbs.  So, I think I need to look at loving my size and reading the book isn't just going to work, there is a bit of therapy needed.  I do have an appointment for some reiki, and then another appointment with Ann Marie to ask questions on the weight/loving/size etc.

Ah the joys of all of this........