Choices

I had my telehealth appoint with my RA today.  I told her I was in so much pain that I was willing to take even Humiria or Enbrel.  She laughed and said you must be in pain. YEAH.

In the end, I am back on Methotrexate, but needles so that it bypasses the stomach hence no nausea.  I hope it will bypass the fatigue too.  I don't look forward to needles, but I'm willing.  My hands hurt so much that I'm nausea'ed with it.  

Both hubby and I continue on our low carb, though today our new friends here brought us treats..... ha ha ha.  We just bump along, and continue on afterwards.  My hands hurt.... I'm sure if I was super strict with my foods etc that I might not have as much pain.  I just know I'm not living that way anymore.  I am super obsessed for so long, then something happens - like moving - and I lose it.  After 54 years, this is telling me something about myself.  I just don't live well like that.  I'm hard on myself when I'm so controlling.  I just don't want to be like that on myself anymore.  

I'm going to adjust my blurb to remove the weight loss intent.  Not to say it's not part of my life, just going to focus more on journaling my life with weight loss involved as apposed (is that the right spelling/word?) to weight loss in my life.

Tomorrow I'm going to walk with my new friend Maureen in the mall.  Diabetic clinic has a walk time and she goes, I asked if I could go with her, and she said yes.  She's picking me up at 950am and we will walk for 1/2 hour.  I have my healing appointment in the afternoon, looking forward to that.

Ok, my hands are really beginning to hurt even more, I need to stop.  More later.  

Ta