Sunday, October 8, 2017

Remembering

It's been a year since i started this blog.  Numerous changes, and some not as planned. 

Made me realize a few things.  Other then I'm not at the weight I dreamed of being.  I realized that on Poon, I was slowly losing weight which I wasn't happy about.  On IP I was losing weight quicker but I wasn't happy either.  I was more depressed on IP and at the end where I was getting closer to my dream of 150 lbs, I wasn't happy, just going thru the motions and aiming to get to where I thought I wanted to be weight wise.  I realized starting again I didn't overly care, but just wanted to get down on the weight.

I also realized I started struggling from 180 lbs down.   

No, I haven't stopped my weight loss goal.  What I have after talking with AJ, decided was I am going back to 180 lbs.  I realized with the moving and eating that I had started eating like there was no tomorrow because I knew I had to still lose 30 lbs more (180 to 150 lbs) so what was the difference if I had a few more to lose on top of that again.  So I didn't pay attention to what I ate, and just ate.  I wonder if I had been settled at 180 lbs, and knew this is where I wanted to be, without more weight loss, if I would have just lived eating with that goal in mind.

And secretly I knew I would enjoy having to lose weight again - it's my hobby.  Insight gained from Marly.  

I saw too that when I was on IP I was really fatigued and quietly down all the time.  All the time.  This past week I was unable to do a lot of things - even just walking Jax was exhausting.  At first I thought I was still struggling from the burn out of cleaning the yard.  Then I started remembering what I felt a few months ago.  Again, talking with AJ I saw I needed to refocus on what I wanted and how I was doing it.

Yes, I am still doing IP.  I'm adding in Poon bits, and I'm going to aim for just 180 lbs slower. I really like the IP foods, even though it's more expensive.  There are a few Canadian places that I can order semi-IP foods like Purely Simple Choices.  I might try them.  The goal is low carb and weight loss.  Since I started adding in a bit of Poon / low carb foods in, I am more up and happier, able to do things.  This weekend I was able to finish cleaning my mediation room, hung pictures in there, did laundry, walked Jax, cleaned off the dining room table and put most of my sauna together (not the top, a friend will do that).  I felt I accomplished things.  

I also was able to make a recipe - zucchini apple crisp (IP).  It was delicious!  Have some left for tomorrow, and I shared it with AJ.  He liked it too.  Definitely going make that again! Found a few recipes from that company, so going to try them too.

My goal continues.  I will aim for a stable weight loss that is better lasting for me.  Unfortunately it will be slower.  But the amount is less too.  That's a blessing.

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