Sent a message to Joan, and I have one more session with her before she leaves for work travel - 3 months!
Sent her this message:
At breakfast out, I screwed up my order, didn't get exactly what I wanted and cost more. Talking with Tony, I realized
Asking/telling someone what I want, being afraid to ask/tell because I don't feel I can have it/get it. I'm not someone who can get what they ask for without struggle or punishment. Believing that I can get it or deserve it. I am afraid of being undeserving.
I saw this with the universe blessings. Trying to control HOW it comes out because I am afraid asking for what I want will also cause me pain and hurt.
Eg. I want to happily win a million so I can get a new suv, pay off bills/mortgage, have more then enough in the bank to buy things we need)want. I am trying to control so the money comes happily instead of by a car accident which then we would need that money for other needs and would be caused by pain. Cancel that thought of happening!
Fear of deserving, asking, believing I deserve, afraid of how and what I get if I ask.
I'm so close to healing this!
I look forward to seeing what she has to say about it, and healing it.
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