Correct That

After looking into Hope's Garden, I did apply for the art group.  Otherwise it looks like they don't have much else for me.  Thought about going to the eating disorder clinic but in the end - it's not for me at this point.  I've done so much therapy on eating etc, I don't want or need to go back to childhood and drag all that up.

But what I did decide was to go back and talk with Joan.  I emailed her and asked for a session.  I realized I need to deal with this feeling of I want to be dead/ I don't want to live.  Ironically right up the aisle of what autoimmune issues do.  Attack it self.  That need to destroy self, harm self, hurt self.  I think there's something there that's very deep and needs to be removed.  Hopefully with Joan I can get to it and clear it.  AJ said to keep doing sessions, even weekly, with Joan so that I get it done/healed. 

I especially need to deal with this destroy self as I have decided on January 6/19 I will do complete, strict AIP.  I emailed Joanne and told her that I was willing after much thinking to do strict AIP and skip the keto part.  I want to heal the inflamed and if I'm inputting things like eggs - which are a no no - then I'll just continue to be inflamed.  Just do it for 30 days and see from there what I can add a bit back in.  No coffee either!!!!  

I have my face breaking out with the eczema.  It hurts.  I have been using that cream from the skin doctor, but it's not exactly helping as much anymore.  So inflamed.

Christmas is part of why I'm holding off.  But we have still food to eat - keto, healthy ones that aren't AIP, and we will be traveling a bit, and lastly Joanne needs to get the meal plan together, we need to talk, I need to shop.....all this will just run into Christmas.  Looks like Talia will be getting the Duke's Mayo I have, as I won't be able to use it.  I wonder if she wants it.  Will be tricky to get it to her too. No way I'm going to be able to eat so much mayo before I start.  ha ha ha.

I'm thinking too that the AIP will help with emotions and stress.  That's good.  Have to get back into painting too.  I did finish one painting the other day.  And think I will dance around the house a bit.  Try to do those things to release stress.  Not that I really have stress - I just emotionally/physically get it.  Ugh.

Nice out today.  About it for today.