Stacking Ego

I think I'm carb stacking. I think I'm worn with monitoring the foods.  I think it shows this week!  I am up 3 pounds.  Shows what happens when I let my ego get control.

I have been writing down my foods, and I can see that at the beginning of the week I WANTED to eat the bison sausages.  I justified them by saying oh the carb is just 2 for one, and so what that the fat is so high.  I ate them.  And then I ate them the next day because they were still there, and we needed to cook them - right?  Then I got into wanting/having a protein bar and then a hot shake.  Instead of having a hot carbthin shake with no carbs, I was having the Diesel or Chocorite shake - which has 1-2 carbs.  I think my body decided to slap me in the face about trying to control via ego.  So I'm letting go, or at least trying too.

Yes, I'm still going to repeat - I have desire and intent to continue with low carb.  I do feel this is best for me.  It's just it for me.  AND I finally have started exercising.  I am doing stretches in the morning, walking of course, and we have started going to the gym where I do the treadmill for 10-20 mins, optical (sorry not sure how to spell that machine- stepper type) 5 mins, and 5 mins on the bike. Also do 2 to 3 10 times rounds on the weight machine.  It's a start, and I do want to do more.  But I want to just go slow on it, make sure what I'm doing is right.  I will ask my physiotherapist when I see him next as to what to do.  He has put AJ and I on the list for the weight training program that is in March for 6 weeks 2 times a week.

I was looking at macros - got very confused as to what I truly need.  I saw the dietitian the other day.  She had me at 60 grams of protein per day.  Agreed to 80 grams, and then planned on 60 grams of fat.  I realized when I got home, that's not going to work because the rest then would be carbs.  I'm not go on math and found a site  http://www.freedieting.com.  Spent time punching in numbers with the carbs at 20 to 30 grams per day (which is 5-6%), and fat at 45-60 grams. That left protein very high.  This whole thing is too much for me to figure out - not that I can't, but I realized it's my ego control wanting to control each morsel of food.  Hence I again realized my carbs are being stacked - and I think I'm having too many.  Will bring my food dairy to Dr Poon and see what is said about it.  I'm also aiming to go back to just doing my best and back off of the food control.

That sounds all confusing right.  Try listening to it in my head!  Today was some what better:
B - cauliflower muffin (egg white, turkey bacon, cauliflower), chia muffin, almond butter, jam, coffee Waldern milk
L - bar, almond print, jam, piece of chicken breast, mayo
S - piece of chicken, mayo, print/jam (after exercising hungry)
D - cauliflower rice, garlic spread, bok choy, celery, broccoli, ground beef, jello, tea
Might still have that hot carbthin (hopefully) shake later tonight.

Just listing that all here, makes me think it's too much or wrong.  I'm struggling with 'wrong' doing everything wrong, food amounts wrong, food wrong, wrong balance etc.  I would like to sit down and clearly discuss my balance - someone who is ok with low carb and can best explain things to me, including best exercises.  I know there are lots on the web.  I'd like the old fashion face to face plan.  Maybe one day I will find someone.  Dr B isn't the right person.

Guess that's the confused end that I'm at.....