This is it:
I have been monitoring - writing down my foods - for the last few days. Couple of things have occurred. I feel a bit depressed. Not sure if it's the foods, or the amounts, or the counts, or the weather or I'm actually depressed. I'm struggling with emotions and feeling blue. I am very clear that I am fine with my food choices - as in low carb not eating other stuff etc. I also (I've been struggling with the depressed feelings since before Christmas) started eating some chocolate again - started at Christmas. I don't know where I sit on this. It's basically hot chocolate and the occasional protein bar that is chocolate. I actually like the Chocorite bars better then the chocolate covered ones. The Diesel Hot Chocolate Protein shake is simply delicious. Apparently Diesel Protein shakes are the best. Also expensive. Will though, buy another one - the vanilla or caramel one next time. I don't like having only the chocolate in that company. The other shakes are ok. Though I think the shakes and bars are making my face break out badly, due to the milk content. I have found that having a hot shake before bed, I sleep much better and my legs don't ache. So, do I choose between having face break out or aching legs????????
Today I feel better then yesterday. I got a bunch of cooking done this morning. Egg/turkey bacon cups, pizza base, chicken breasts. Going to use the pizza base for lunch but as a wrap. Doing a bison dog/sausage with raw sauerkraut and a pickle, mustard. Tea probably, later a shake.
I cut my blood pressure med in half - my pressure is up a bit, but in normal. 115/85, better then 98/77. Might be a reason for the depression too.
I find that I am not excited about my weight loss. I am glad I am losing weight. I just want to get down to 160 lbs and see what is going to happen I guess. I want to stay there (160 lbs) and be comfortable with my foods, exercising etc. I wonder if part of me is just scared that eventually I will gain again, like all the other times. So I don't allow myself to feel good about what I'm doing. Funny thing is - and I know I keep repeating it - I am just so clear on doing this, on eating this way. It's like a total shift in my head. I'm so grateful for that!!!!
I have been tracking, but can't seem to get on Phase 1. I keep having about 3 to 4 carbs at each meal. Sunday's lunch I got to 1 carb. But the rest I just keep ending up with the 3 or 4. I'm not sure if it is that I don't want to cut it down, or what. I thought I did, but I'm guessing not. I do stay at or under 20 carbs net extra a day. I'm not counting the green veg carbs which would make my daily count higher then. I'm guessing I'm running around 40 net carbs a day, maybe 50? Writing it down is helping me see that I am eating ok. That helps with my thinking - shows me I'm doing well and to not beat myself up over the foods. I like the shakes at night instead of meat (protein) as it's easier. I'm also trying to add more fat. The max is 60 grams on Poon. I am lousy at math, and grams! So I will continue just counting the carbs. Looks like my fantasy of 6 to 10 pounds off this week....is just that! A fantasy.
No comments:
Post a Comment