What Do I Want?

Friday's IP weigh in  -  3 pounds down.

You'd think I'd be happy.  I am about the weight coming off / down.  But I'm disheartened.  Long ago, when I started in Nov 2016, I planned this to be finished by my birthday in June.  Well, my birthday came and went, and technically, I am in the 180's - 187 lbs.  I wanted to be at least 180 lbs for my birthday, and 180 lbs was my original end goal number.  As time went on, my goal number went down.  170.... 160.... now 150.  AJ says at 150 lbs I will be rail thin.  Not that he's saying I can't be that, just commenting.  He thinks the lowest should be around 170-160 lbs. My Poon sheet says I still need to lose 16.8 pounds of fat - taking me to 172 lbs.

Yesterday I felt worn and nausea'd.  Today is even worse.  I am dizzy and hot.  I feel like I can't keep doing this weight loss.  I'm just so over it.  I thought yesterday that I could keep doing it until I got to 150 lbs.  But that is going to be about another 4-5 months.  I still don't really know why I want to lose the weight, I just keep going.  I'm happy about being slimmer.  Overall feel better.  I like IP and Poon.  I like low carb.

I think I need to stop for a moment.  Today I had a flax bagel (Poon's) with almond butter and jam.  Feel a bit better, but still woosie.  Slept this afternoon. It's not that I'm starving anymore.  That is still gone.  And I still have the full feeling after eating.  I feel like I'm not getting enough carbs (?) food (?) nutrients (?). The heat isn't helping either, and my points are flaring so there's that pain coming back at the moment.

I'm going to see Jacqui tomorrow - hopefully with her guidance I will have a better idea of what I am going to do, and what weight I'm going to aim for.