What?

Was a good daughter.... we went to see my mother (and aunt) this morning. Takes about 2 hours to drive down, and 2 hours back.  Basically stayed just over 2 hours.  It was her birthday yesterday.  Brought her the usual present - flower. She likes flowers, and really doesn't want anything else.

We go for a semi-breakfast/lunch.  She made AJ pancakes etc.  I brought my IP meals with me as I am not willing to cheat!  My aunt has reached her goal weight of 165-170 lbs, and still continues to bring her snack over too.  I brought 1 vanilla pudding shake made into 2 containers and frozen, 2 muffins (equals 1 pkg), some lettuce/cucumber/ celery and dressing, and lastly 1 cup jicma with some WF caramel/chocolate syrup.

When we got there, I pulled out 1 container of the shake, some lettuce - put some in a small bowl and put the rest away, and my 2 muffins.  It wasn't much.  My mother looked at it, looked at me and said:  "You are eating SO much?"  Me: blank look, uh? What?  I truly didn't know what to say.  I looked at my bowl of lettuce - a SMALL bowl, my 2 SMALL muffins, my thin container of shake, and my now made small cup of tea.  Seriously????  She repeated herself again, stating was I going to eat all that.  I kinda thought, go back to not noticing I have lost weight.  I really didn't know how to respond.

Later, before we left, I pulled out my jicma as I knew I was hungry and didn't want to be nuts driving home or nuts at home.  She looked.  I ate.

I asked AJ on the drive home about my food.  He said it was fine, I didn't have a lot.  My mother ate 2 slices of raisin bread with butter/jam, a pancake with some strawberries, a few slices of turkey and coffee/cream.

Years ago, statements like these would have made me want to eat.  Now, I just am sad..... and I want to go clothes shopping. But then, the shopping is probably because last night when I was trying to figure out what to wear, I ended up bagging 2 green garbage bags full of clothes that are too big on me.  YEAH! Guess it didn't help my mother either when my aunt asked for a sweater because she was cold, and I asked for one too.  She gave me the smaller of the two - and it fit me.  FYI my mother weighs 165 lbs today, per her report.

It just brings on sadness, and I know it doesn't have to do with me personally.  Or that I need to take it personally.  Unfortunately, I still end up thinking about it, and working thru it.  I'm better when I don't see her too often.  Kinda makes me really want to weigh 145 lbs! 😁😄😜  Ok, ok, I know - I need to find my weight because of myself - not because of her.

Onward!

Today's rest of my food:  got home and had the rest of my lettuce/dressing, 1 egg scrambled with a bit of egg white.  Put my 1/2 container away for tomorrow and had 1/2 broccoli cheese soup loaf that I made yesterday.  (equals: 2 == 1 pkg loaf/shake, along with the 1 pkg of muffins I had already)  Means I can still have a 1 pkg tonight as snack.  Dinner will be bison stew (4 oz cooked, made last night:  lunch egg makes up my 8oz meat for the day), and 2 1/2 cups of cauliflower with 1/2 cup chayote. (ate 1cup jicma already for a total of 4 cups veg)  And water.....tea....water......tea....water......

Yesterday's weigh in with Laura was 1.8 pounds down, and another 2 1/2 inches. I was aware I might have a little weight loss as the last two weeks were 7 and 5 pounds.  I'm hoping my next one will be better.  But then again - as long as it's down!  I started back with my weights yesterday too - but only doing one set of everything and no cardio - other then walking Jax.  Figured that would be a good balance between not over exercising yet still doing some exercise as I don't want to get too far off of not exercising and then not ever getting back to it.  Especially since we planned Josh for every third week instead of every week.

I bought a regular XL top, and shorts at Joe Fresh yesterday.  AJ says I should go to Winners and look as I will now fit in there, and since we are holding off going to Boston.  Not going anymore in October.  I feel too stressed, and I want to be stable with my weight before going.  At this point I don't know if we will ever go.  Maybe I will visit my friend in Windsor instead and cross boarder shop then. Just a thought.

Ta.