Postings.... NOT

One thing about Facebook is that some people post things that are too true.

I try not to read them.

Unfortunately yesterday I accidentally got pulled in and read the post.  And wanted to vomit and cry.  Basically (I will not post it here) it was a post from a dog fighter and how he 'collects' dogs and cats, even gets his wife to dress nice and get the dog or cat.  There was a photo too of a dog with duct tape around it's mouth.

I know there are so many people that are so ..... cruel.

Makes my heart so sick and I struggle to remain alive when I read or hear about things like this.  Not just towards animals - wild or domestic, but babies, children, everyone.  The feeling that goes thru me, I can't even explain.  I don't even want to know why they do it - I just wish it would stop.  But this world doesn't create an ability for this to happen - so far.  

What a world.

Yes, there are those that help, and those people are so amazing, able to deal with those things.  Yes, there is beauty in this world too.  And the more positive energies are sent around the world, the more, hopefully, the world becomes lighter, heals, and those cruel things will no longer happen.  Not fast enough for me. Or those who suffer....

Late at night, when I can't sleep, like last night, the morbid ego bring these thoughts back up.  And in the dark they are even more heartbreaking.  Requires a lot of light and mantra prayers to clear them and let them go.


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Last night I started to cut the grass.  Got a bit done and then with the dark and chest pains, had to stop.  Finished it early this morning.  Now I just have the front grass to cut.

Didn't sleep well again.  Ended up back in the family room on the pull out.  It's a bit softer.  Told AJ I was just going to sleep there tonight.  I need some sleep.  I feel sick.  Booked to see that NP about my stomach.  Going to drag AJ with me to have him talk.  She's on holidays right now so I have to wait 2 weeks.  

I wish health wise I had a reset button sometimes.  Just to try to get things back to a start point where it's either more manageable, or healthier.  I hate the down, wiped, crying, pain, sad, nauseated, spacey, hungry-not hungry waves that come over me and last for days on end.

On a happier note: