Sunday, December 3, 2017

Bunny Jumping

I was thinking about what I wrote about Rob and AJ.  Guess this is part 2.  I thought a lot on it I guess because of it being someone else finding me 'pretty'.  Especially since I'm not really feeling pretty lately.  Not so much about my weight, but just in general.  With me short, thin, disappearing hair, my pains, my slowly growing weird RA lumps etc....

I put the highlights in my hair the other day - found it made me look prettier - to me.  I liked it.  So did AJ.  My friend Talia said I should go to have it done at the hairdresser, AJ agreed, but I did ok.  I also decided I would just do my nails myself.  At least the first time.  AJ really wanted me to go and have it done, I just can't bring myself to do it.  Talia said to have my nails done for the dinner we are going out this week with Maureen and Mike.  She also reminded me of how I looked years ago.  I mentioned maybe I would get a wig again.  AJ likes my real hair.  She sent me a photo.




I'm the one in the silver.  I like the wig.  Ah the old days.

Those were the days I was dating AJ and we were 'active' all the time.  That's where Rob comes in.  I can't see me doing that anymore.  I flirt with him, with AJ around, and talk of olden days of what I did sometimes.  But is it there now?  Would it drive me to cheat?  Not in a million years.  Even with AJ there's barely anything left in me that drives that train.  There's no bunny jumping procreation desires with AJ let alone someone else.  I can see there will never be anyone else after AJ as I just don't have much in me for bunny jumping.  Which makes me sad for my relationship with my wonderful, adoring hubby.  Between both of our health challenges, we just don't, even though we'd like to.

It stunned me, really stunned me the last time I was under 200 lbs that there was barely any action in me as every time I was under 200 lbs, I was jumping all over the place.  It was always that way.  As soon as I'd weigh less then 200 lbs I was a rabbit.  I thought though, that was what I was all about, and all I had to be whether I wanted to or not.  I had told AJ just wait and see..... and we both waited.....and waited.  Not to say it's completely dead.  Just not that active anymore. I was so sure I'd bunny jump him like before, or at least close to it.  

Oh well......

AJ sent me to bed because I'm sick with this cold.  He's a bit testy as he'd really like to bring me to the hospital, I just won't go - and I'm the one who drives.  I said I'd see the NP Monday when I bring him to see her.  I will call tomorrow and ask if I can get squeezed in - all I need is some meds.  The cold has gotten into my lungs - not a good place for me to have a cold.  I'm suppose to be resting and sleeping.  I snuck my computer into my mediation room.... Poor Jax.  It's a beautiful day and I'm sure he'd love to go for a long walk.  I'd actually would love to take him, but don't have it in me.  And I can't breathe that cool air in too much.  I did walk him a bit this morning.

AJ wanted to go out by himself to Walmart.  Wants to go Christmas shopping.  I said when he goes to Walmart in the first cashier isle is Reeses peanutbutter cups with Reeses pieces in it.  Please get me one.  And if they didn't have any, to go to the Dollar Tree, not Dollarama as they have them too.  Told him it was his payment for me allowing him to go out by himself.  He laughed and laughed.  Said I was so kind!  Told him if he kept laughing I'd show him how kind I could be!  😮  He will bring me one.  I think he's happy to be able to go out on his own today.  It's beautiful out, as I wrote, and he's on his own (that independent feeling), and off to do something nice for me.  (the Christmas shopping)  Before he left he wanted to confirm where to go if Walmart didn't have the chocolate - as he would try his best to get it so that I would be happy.  Ah, I love him.  How could there be anyone else?

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