What Was That Line?

Yeah, there is just one quick line about talking with Joan and her saying the bar is about sexual abuse.

I know, I think too - then WHY can't I remember it.  I didn't get into with her as I wanted to talk with her about some other stuff coming up.  I kinda just figure it's too much of a trauma for me that I just will not see it.  I do think there is a bit more behind the bar as in a vortex too.  Those two together make it something to leave in the past.  I do in a way wish to know exactly what happened, but I guess it's not meant to be - at least for now.

With regards to the unknowns in the Douglas house, she said that she couldn't get much and it appears that it's out of my orbit now.  No interest to bring it back, so let's leave it there.

I started realizing, after being calmer with the foods, that having to choose, all or nothing, sacrifice now and have it later - or not get it later, and as Joan said - it's like you get an achievement award and I'm so happy, then I'm walking down the street being happy and a dog comes growling at me and it scares me.  It's like the other shoe drops and it's like it's best not to be happy as something will happen.  She nailed that last one.  I've often felt that.

We ended up doing a healing on abundance.  I'm not exactly sure how that ends up being involved with sacrifice.  I do kinda see it, but ....  Either way, abundance and money $$$ is something I want to deal with, so it was all good.

I've still been working away at reading those library books.  Even though one I picked up earlier is one I read years ago.  It sounded so familiar.  That one is 'What She Left Behind'.  I'm reading 'The Toronto Book of the Dead' between it.  Like real stories, and that one is interesting.

Going back to Joan - she said that TOPS and Laser did align with me.  So I'm planning on that and starting in July.  Right now I'm dealing with the abundance, and then I will go back to weight.

I also got the feeling as I talked with Joan, that I should do a healing with someone else on the sacrifice / abundance. 

It's still very hot outside.  Just can't go out - going to run out and put on the sandpoint water - and run back into the air conditioned house.