About the dream - basically just a dream as a gift that the baby is ok. She asked when I lost the baby, and I said January. Which hit me, oh, yeah. I thought later, it might have been February but still. Either time is close to now and probably explains the dream, and it's been 25 years.
About Shame. Surprisingly she said that I really didn't have anything that I hadn't dealt with except... she said this will sound strange but what's coming up is happiness. No, that's not strange. I totally can see being ashamed about being happy and joyful. Happy and joyful are a struggle for me still. When I had lost the weight I couldn't get happy or joyful about it, I kept feeling I needed to do better, I had to be hard on myself. So the shame of happiness and joy will be something I will work on.
About the weight. She said that my body remembers it, and as soon as I start, my body will go - oh, we are doing this, so we need to let this go/do this. She explained as an empath
Empath - Being an empath is when you are affected by other people's energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. ... You are always open, so to speak, to process other people's feelings and energy, which means that you really feel, and in many cases take on the emotions of others.
Being an Emotional Empath is a Rare Gift. Although the concept of being an Empath may sound like the same as being "empathetic or empathic", the two are distinct. Empathy is the ability to comprehend or imagine what another might be feeling. Whereas, the Empath can literally feel what another person feeling.
Dr. Elaine Aron from the Foundation for the Study of Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP's) estimates that 15-20 percent of earth's population is Highly Sensitive. There's no official documented consensus on how many HSP's are empaths, but empaths don't need external evidence to prove something for us, we feel it.
Ok, continuing on - Empath. I actually like that word better then physic, or over sensitive, or sensitive, or very emotional..... it really does explain me better.
As we decided to move, I decided to say screw it with my weight loss program, ha ha ha she's exactly right, and exactly right on the words - that's what I used. I did this because I wasn't able to handle everything that was going on, and I was going to be very overwhelmed so I needed to let go of the one thing that was taking a lot of energy for me. I hadn't finished with my program of weight, so it wasn't ingrained in me, I hadn't dealt with some issues about it (the shame of happiness), so to do all this and look for houses/move would have overwhelmed me too much to deal with anything. Hence screw it with the foods/weight/eating.
The good thing is that it's so familiar and not far off, that I know and remember it. Which I really do feel when I look inside. I feel that once I decide this is it, I can and will do it, that losing the weight isn't that hard per se to do as I know what to do. I just questioned whether I do it again the same way as that's the one thing I sorta don't want to do. But the answer is yes - she said she sees powder as a kick start. Meaning IP to start off with, for about 2 months, and then flip into low carb/Poon style afterwards. I'm basically going backwards on it, and continuing what I originally thought of doing. IP until the weight came off, and then go back to Poon/low carb to maintain. Do breakfast/lunch/snacks as low carb and dinner regular then.
Sighed about it, but knew she was right. Helped to hear her say it, as I just didn't want to hear it in me. I wanted to be able to just eat and lose weight. I wanted to be able to just eat whatever and be content with my weight. I can see some of me being content and needing to learn being content with my weight, but I just can't see me not being slimmer/wanting to do what I have to be be slimmer. I just can't let it be with my weight and not have a corner in me screaming yeah but what about those pants????
So when will I be ready? She says she sees February 1/18. As I asked I saw February too.
One of the things is that I'm still collecting myself from the move. Being an empath I leave pieces of me. Leaving is difficult and it takes a bit for me to balance out. Probably why I got so ill over Christmas - I could feel deep inside that I was exhausted, worn and unbalanced. I needed a break to recover. She says empaths will be angry or upset for a while as they are gone from a place/person, that saying goodbye is hard because they leave a piece, and then it takes time for them to collect themselves again. I can see that. It explains a lot. Explains why visiting my mother is exhausting for me - even if the visit was nice and pleasant and I feel good. Also explains why I can't handle visiting someone sometimes as it's just too overwhelming with emotions. Explains a lot period to me.
I always knew I had trouble at times visiting/going places and couldn't figure out why other then I felt it was stressful just thinking of going. This helps me understand. Not that it gives me an excuse, just the understanding to help me know what is going on and then how to deal with going/ why I'm stressed, what needs to be adjusted if possible.
She said that I needed to put some rocks in the house. The house felt good and I did a good job of cleaning the energies. I think the rocks will help ground me inside the house. She laughed when I said I had rocks from the old house outside that I could find thru the snow and bring in. As long as I could lift them, they would be good in the house. So guess what today's plan was....those rocks are frozen in! Have to wait for warmer weather. ha ha
That's basically the highlights of what came out of the call. It was helpful, directional and uplifting for me. Glad I spoke with her.
As far as AJ - she said his right side adjusting/cleansing have to do with male energy. And the more I am female (as in feeling female/doing female things etc) the more helpful it will be for him to bring his male energy out. I said it was the other way around he's to be more male and I will end up becoming more female! she laughed, said yes that would work too.
And I needed one red rose. Said AJ could buy me a dozen! No, just need one, can even get a photo off the net and look at it. I still think AJ buying me roses is better. ha ha AJ said I wasn't much for red roses... yeah but Jacqui said I need one!
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