I've been working at taking photos and down loading my art/crafts for the other blog. I've done a lot. Trying to organize them a bit too.
And then the growth work.
I spoke with Joan the other evening. Basically came down about the self-destructiveness - it's in the blood. Remember that statement from the other post? It's in the blood from my father's side. I'm the end of his line and that destructiveness, mean DNA ends with me - that's what I came to do. We 'cleaned' that out of me. I did feel better afterwards. I'm happy today.
I was dreaming this morning......then suddenly a naked John Goodman was laughing and I was suppose to hit him on his butt, but I wasn't doing it really that hard as I couldn't get the right way to do that.
Roseanne Barr came in yelling/angry and was going to show me how to do it.
I didn't see anything but I KNEW/ and heard a very painful hard smack. I knew his butt was red, and just as she came in I did see John's face - it wasn't laughing anymore, it was an oh no, frightened sorta, open mouth, wide eye look at me.
I woke. i was punished for being overweight. Very tiny voice.
I know my father / and mother threatened, promised etc with regards to my weight as a child.
I would also get promises of money, trip to Germany etc.
In the shower I realized weight and money. I use to lose weight to get a boyfriend/man. And lose to boyfriend, so the weight came back. Weight came back with Tony, but he did not leave.
Now, there is no money either if I lose weight - it actually costs more for me to lose weight. (foods, clothes etc). There's no prize. (yeah, yeah health is a prize..... not)
So there was two things in that this morning.
I tried to contact Joan but she is leaving for the weekend out West for a few weeks. I called Ann-Marie for a healing session. Thought it would help as apposed to doing not much other then realizing it. I see her on Friday.
That's where I am with that for the moment.
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About my surprise..... I did it. Yup. Went out with Michelle as she offered to come with me.
TaDa!:
It's on my left inside arm. And yes, it's my very first! Told him I was a virgin, but gentle.
I saw this photo (the one above is mine not the photo I kept) about 4 years ago, and kept the photo. When Michelle came to paint with me, I saw her humming birds which were beautifully done. And suddenly I knew I wanted to do it. Few days later, I suddenly called her to ask her again what the guy's name was again - Mike at the Neon Crab. I called, he was busy, apparently very busy, but got for Wednesday. Michelle offered to come with, so, why not?
It stung a bit, but not horribly. Didn't take long either. Told him if I could find a dog and something that matched I'd get that on my right arm. Later I called him back and said that with the dog it was a humming bird. Michelle and I went afterwards to Tim's for coffee, and I said a humming bird would be something I liked. When I got home AJ said a humming bird. So I called Mike and said it would be a humming bird with the dog.
AJ was fine with the tattoo. Not his thing, but I wanted it, so, ok. He liked it when he saw it.
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Wednesday was also the day I went (with AJ) to see the Nurse Practioner. Asked about the thyroid, she will said the prescription in. And it was pap day. Learnt stuff I didn't know! Explains the owies. I'm in menopause. That sucks. Got 'help' for that - hopefully it will be better. Let's skip over the rest of this subject as enough, maybe too much! has been said already.
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There you go. That's about what is going on.
PS note is I got an email from Joan who is willing to talk with me on Friday night. Ha ha ha. I truly thought she'd be too busy. So I will semi-change my plan with Ann-Marie to a talk and do the healing with Joan that night.
Til later!
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