AJ did/does like and love me since the beginning because I do have great qualities. Especially my ability to love and accept, to be ferociously loyal, dependable, honest, sincere, kind, caring, supportive. I have a humor that got to him. He would say something and I would quickly wit something out that stopped him, and he would laugh. I seek truth. I share openly and willingly. I am amazing as myself. Happiness in me comes out in funny, joy comes out with smiles and light. There is a lot to me that is positive and a joy to be around.
I don't write much about it I guess. Mostly because there's not much more to say other then today I was funny, AJ laughed. I was in a good mood - just because. I sang, off key of course as I did the house cleaning. Thankfully AJ is tone deaf!
But I am very, very hard on myself. I don't know why.
I am in some ways easy to love. I was reading 'Two Sisters in The Wilderness" about Susanna Moodie and Catherine Parr Traill (two sisters/writers in the 1800's that came to Upper Canada) Just started reading. At the point where they met their husbands. Catherine never took off her wedding ring. Susanna canceled the wedding, but he came back telling her how much he loved her etc, and she agreed to get married. Both women were married to men who beyond a doubt totally and completely for all times loved them. They made the best of their lives, yes, but there was romance from the men. Even Susanna who was moody and emotional was loved completely by her husband, willing to forgo moving to South Africa because she didn't want to leave London England. (Yes, they do leave but because they couldn't make it as writers, hubby writer, too in England). She was loved without reserve, and with emotions, and wanted.
I sometimes wonder if that's why I'm a bit more sad. I do put it in the past and love AJ in the present, but sometimes it comes up and haunts me. Reminds me. The worse part is - it's the truth, and it's the truth in the present. Makes me feel a bit empty. Leave him? No. I do love him, and he does love me, care about me, is happy generally with me. Besides I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be without him. I made a choice. And even with his feelings, I choose at this point to be with him. I do have a good life with him. I am loved, even when I have my days. There are not many men that I have met that could handle loving someone like me.....so AJ gets credit and stars for that.
Quirky as I am, I'm simply and completely:
don't forget:
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