String Ideas

As I think on illness, I know 100% I'm not a hypochondriac.  I also know 100% that I'm not creating, making up, or doing something to myself so that I appear ill.  (who came up with the idea of injecting raw egg into their bladder????? and how do you do that???? ouch.)  When I read about that, my heart went out to those that do those kinds of things.

I started with the wonderful internet and found things like: (Wiki summaries)

Hypochondriacs:  Hypochondriasis or hypochondria is a condition in which a person is inordinately worried about having a serious illness.

Factitious Disorder:  A factitious disorder is a condition in which a person, without a malingering motive, acts as if they have an illness by deliberately producing, feigning, or exaggerating symptoms, purely to attain (for themselves or for another) a patient's role.  (Malingering motive means for money, work reasons etc)

Munchausen: also known as Factitious Disorder.  Named after Baron Munchausen.

Histrionic Personality Disorder: Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive attention-seeking emotions, usually beginning in early adulthood, including inappropriately seductive behavior and an excessive need for approval. Histrionic people are lively, dramatic, vivacious, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. HPD is diagnosed four times as frequently in women as men.^[1  

Then all this continues on with Personality Disorders:  OCD, Borderline, Dependent Personality, Cluster B..... and onwards.

As I read about all these two things come up.  1 - here I am again looking for a diagnosis of what is wrong with me!  (ha ha ha???)  and 2 - none really fit.  There are little bits that fit but not any that really stand out.  Then again most people looking can find something in things that would relate to them, usually.  It's how much does it apply.

None of this clicks with that memory or with what I'm looking to remember / realize / understand.  Some of it might explain why, but not all that much.  Funny considering it's a circle - looking for what's wrong and not accepting the possible reason.