I screwed up. Yesterday I went to feed the gang before we went out, very busy movements. I wanted to give Star his food, but he ran, so I went after him, put a few kibbles down, he came, and I went to grab-pick him up. He FN FREAKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Clawed me, and bit me hard. Now he's FN back to freak out mode. I hate, hate, hate this. I've had cats that were scared. I've had freaked out cats - that calmed after a week. But this is nuts. It's been weeks. And yes, I KNOW it can take a year for him to calm and trust - if ever.
It was my fault. I shouldn't have tried to grab him, and I shouldn't be pushing him so hard to relax with me. So today, he is too afraid to come to the food I put down if I'm there - and I have to watch the food otherwise Jax eats it.... so he's not getting much. More on not getting the crunchies - he did get breakfast and dinner. And he is around. Thank God he's not back under the stairs. Just now he was with his brother on the bench, Milo was cleaning Star's head. Star does look at me from a distance. Urgh. As I said my own fault.
Guess where I spent the evening last night. Tried out our 'urgent clinic'. Thankfully I got there at 450pm. Opens at 5pm. They only accept enough that the doctor can deal with until 8 pm. What they do is: Secretary comes down at 5pm, asks how many - doesn't matter where you are in the line, or how long you sat there. So, last night there were 24. 24 numbers go into the box, and everyone picks a number. I got #14. Then we all go upstairs. Numbers 1-4 get registered. Numbers 18 to 24 were told to go home. !!!! As I sat there, was seen at 645pm. I saw 3 others come in, old woman unable to breathe because of pneumonia, another woman with ?, and a man with his daughter and grandson who it sounds like was having croup. He is a patient of the clinic - apparently only people of the clinic will be seen there - and his daughter/grandson are visiting. He said so I have to bring them to Sarnia in this dark and snowy weather because they are visiting? I'm a patient here. They were told to go elsewhere.
I do get that the doctor could be there all night if they took everyone. Most there sounded like they were there because of a cold. They could have been seen during the day, or suck it up and wait until the next day, you've had the cold for a few days already.
I had washed and cleaned my hands and arms. When I got in to see the doctor, she really didn't even look at my hands. Just glanced. I said I was scratched and bit by my freaked out new cat. She said bit? Yes. She didn't care about the scratches. But immediately said she was giving me antibiotics because of the bites. They were red and deep too. On the left hand by the knuckle of first finger, and base of the thumb. They don't look all that great. They are clean now. She said she didn't care if it was a few hours or a few days - they always give antibiotics, and the sooner the better. So, me being there was a good thing. I understand why too. Which is why when AJ said I should go, I didn't argue with him about it. I just went. I know that bites can get infected etc. That they are actually dangerous. After about 12 cats over my life time, I do know a little information. Just not about LEAVE THEM TO ADJUST WHEN THEY ARE SKITTISH!!! apparently!.
Kinda in a down mood. Really hurt and upset about Star. Mad at him for not liking me. Though I know it's not his fault. I think I'm more angry with myself for wanting him to do what I want - to let me pat him etc. Milo is doing well with all that. He's continuing to be a love bug - purrs when I scratch his head and belly. Tho will jump and run if I try to pat or pick him up when he's walking around. If he's laying down, I can go, pick him up, he purrs, I cuddle, and I put him back down. SEE STAR... I'm not scary or going to hurt you! Ugh.
Jax is at the kennel tonight. We are going to Sarnia again tonight. AJ is doing his sleep study. Got in immediately for the testing etc. Glad as the weather is good for the next few days - which is why I said we would like to come tonight if possible. And best, I don't have to find a hotel. I get to sleep there too. We thought I'd have to be in a hotel as we go up tonight and he has to be out by 630am tomorrow morning. At least this way, I'm there and ready to take him I guess. Cats will be fine overnight.
I'm kinda down too today because I'm letting taken dog thoughts have space in my brain/thinking. Must stop that. Hurts too much. I keep thinking of the reasons why those dogs are stolen, and how much pain they are dealt. I just don't understand why people can be so, so cruel to animals like that. Or to each other, but those animals. And then I think, those animals who were stolen were loved (usually) and so wanted/cared for and that God lets them get taken by those mean/cruel people. How can God allow that. And yes, I know it's not God doing it, but those people, and yes, this world is free reign - it just makes me again feel like it's just not a world I want to live in.
Even Star being the way he is - even me grabbing him (and that was done gently!) I NEVER yelled or hit him because of the scratches or bites. Even me being mad at him - really isn't me being mad AT him. I still see him over there and it takes everything inside me to stop myself from going over there and cuddling him, because he is so cute and I want to let him feel how much I love him already. And then I bring Jax to the kennel which doesn't help me.
Oh, I do pray that Love and Light and Protection be around and with all my pet babies.... keep them safe, loved, secure, and cared for always.
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