where was I? Oh yes,
By 42 I had followed a friend into program. AA and OA created life change number 2. I learned more about myself, followed the steps to a T, and did all that was suggested. But only on the outside, inside I still thought heavily.
I knew diet pills wasn't the way to go. So I promptly went to the health store and got healthy weight loss pills. And yes, they did work, along with dating and barely eating and lots of exercising. Basically the same way I did it the first time, only now with healthy pills. You'd think I'd have learnt from the first time, but obviously it didn't. Funny how one creates blind spots in their memories.
I lost 90 lbs in about 7 months. I was back down to 180 lbs, and I was exhausted.
I did meet my current hubby, stopped going to programs as I couldn't continue being so tired. I am still alcohol free, but sugars - especially chocolates - came back. The weight crept up slowly. We got married in October 2009, with me being 30 lbs heavier. He loves me. I also was very, very ill.
After getting married, I came home from work one day, and by that night I knew I couldn't work, I needed help to get better. That was and is a very long recovery. I had seriously damaged my health. I gained another 30 pounds. Emotionally and illness doesn't cause me to stop eating, but caused me to eat more.
In the years between 2009 and now I again made feeble tempts but just didn't have it in me to seriously take care of my health. Which didn't help my illness either. I did try going back to program but couldn't last.
Life change number 2 did bring me weight loss, and so much more - a wonderful hubby (yeah, I moved out of my mother's house) and then we moved an hour away into a house of our own. We also brought into our house last year a delightful Havi puppy. Our older cats were thrilled.... not.
Now we are a happy little family and I'm better most days. Life change number 2 was good, just not good enough.
Well said!
ReplyDelete