The Last Supper...and breakfast and lunch...

It's not about The Last Supper.  Though thinking of that.  I wonder if the disciples knew they were having their last supper.  I mean, I know they knew later they won't be physically eating like before with Jesus, but think what the last supper means.  I thought on that.

Yes, there's that - this is the last time I will eat this/this way, but it also this is the last time I'm like this.  I'm in change.  That last meal is the changing.  Not the change because that is a looking back thing.  I remember years ago hearing that a major change in life is not when one decides to change - that's minor - it's them looking back and seeing that one is living that change.  With all the fears, tantrums, insights, and joys.

I've been having my least supper... and breakfast and lunch and snacks.  One big thing I like is dessert.  EVERY meal needs dessert, even breakfast and snacks.  Not.  :)  or is that :(

I'm happy about this.  It's funny, we've (AJ and I) have been eating around. Things that I would like to have one last time.  It's not that I will never be able to eat those foods - it's that I am CHOOSING at this moment in time, to accept that I am not going to eat those foods again.  There's a difference in that.  Also, it's not that I can't eat in those places either - Tim's, Wendy's, Mucho Burrito, etc - (not McDonalds - I actually don't care of McDs)  they all have foods that I can eat:  again it's my choice of what I will eat.

One item I love is smore's cookies from Goodness me.  I've been eating a few of them.  I was eating the 'unknown' last one, when I realized my head/mind was saying this is good and I am glad that it is the last one - my body does not need anymore of them.  It was very quiet and peaceful.  I enjoyed it, and knew that's it for them.  Even now writing about it I wonder, and inside I hear 'no, there are no more, that was the last one, and no more are required'.   Most importantly about that is I need to honour it and move on.  I could fantasize about it to the point where I would eat another, but that would be deceitful and dishonest to myself.  No one would care if I ate one, but I would, my body would, my spirit would.

So, I continue peacefully going on to the last meals.  They are becoming less and less a requirement or a desire.  I look more towards low carb/salt/fat foods.  More veggies and meats.  Amen.