The Double Whammy

Now before you think I am going to be preaching OA for the rest of my blogs - well.... yes and no.  It's a part of my life, and a part of recovering from my eating, hence weight loss that I need to remember.  There is so much in it that I understand and relate and know has some answers for me. Step 1 is really important. It states everything I can write on, what others who are successful have blogged (without knowing they are posting Step 1,- those I have read)   So, from time to time there MAY be a post on AA/OA in my blog.  Today happens to be one of them.

I posted that I found an OA Big Book Study previously.  I have started reading it. Chapter one highlights:

From pg 3 - The Twelve Provocations.  I like them all especially #1 - I am a RECOVERED compulsive eater, not a recovering one.  I identify with that because I don't believe in continuously re-enforcing being in that state of always trying to stop eating. Somewhere along the list - or steps in this case - one hopefully comes out of it and lives.

2 steps to step 1.  Allergy of the Body which is the craving, and Mental obsession which is unable to stop thinking of the food/craving.

Page 4 - thus we can't stop once we start (the allergy that creates cravings), and we can't stop from starting again (the obsession that sends us back).

Page 6 - Diets ''give back'' binge foods in moderation after the weight is lost. Many people can eat those binge foods in moderation.  But we can't - we get the phenomenon of craving.

Page 7 - Allergy doesn't mean a cough or a runny nose or a rash; it means simply an abnormal physical reaction to a physical substance.  The allergy of the body we get when we overeat is the 'phenomenon of craving'.

We have to stop our craving, and the only way to stop the craving is to stop eating foods that cause our craving.  (We also have to stop the eating behaviors that cause our cravings)

Clearly any food that I couldn't stop eating when I started was a food that caused cravings.  I had to eliminate those.

Page 9 - (writer's statement, not mine)  The lesson I take from this experience is that it's important always to be honest and vigilant, and not to relax in the program.  It's easy to relax; we lose a lot of weight and feel better, and then we reach a plateau.  It's important to be honest to see if that plateau is a reasonable plateau!

Page 10 - when it comes to honesty, though, I think what's important is rigorous honesty. Some people jump very quickly to certain kinds of plans of eating because it seems to fit them, or because the plans are urged on them by other people in the program for whom the plans work, or maybe - just maybe! - because the plans allow them to hold onto certain foods which are really binge foods for them.

Page 11 - Well, one thing that's obvious is that virtually every diet and every book on losing weight, and many, many doctors and dietitians and nutritionist whom we consult, all seem to say that once we have lost our weight we can go back to eating ALL the food we used to eat, but this time in moderation!  It's just a matter of will power, or maybe they phrase it as won't power.  They can't imagine why we would eat in large quantities again.

Page 12 - The Big Book doesn't use the word 'emotional' to describe our problem.  It uses the word 'mental'.  That's because our reasons for returning to the food are often just insane, and sometimes don't depend on how we're feeling at all.

Page 13 - THE DOUBLE WHAMMY:  The first part of our addiction is that we are powerless over food - we get uncontrollable physical cravings when we eat certain foods or indulge in certain eating behaviors.  This is the allergy of the body.
The second part is that we can't manage our lives in relation to our powerlessness over food - we get mental obsessions that send us back to those foods and those eating behaviors that we know will cause us the uncontrollable cravings.  This is the obsession of the mind.

We have what Dr. Silkworth called the 'DOUBLE WHAMMY'.  We can't stop once we've started; and we can't stop from starting again.  We're doomed.

That is Step One - the realization that we are doomed.  And we're not doomed because of our allergy of the body, but because of our mental obsession.  And we begin to realize that the only solution that will ever work with us is something that gets rid of our mental obsession.  And we know we can't do it by ourselves, because we can't stop the thinking that keeps sending us back.

End of statements out of the study.

There is a solution to all this - so it's not all bad or hopeless.   I'm just sayin.

Brings to mind too, the reason why I've been working at putting support into place for me when I return home.  I need to get out, find those who understand, and go from there.

Most of what I will probably write on is step one, only because I need to remember why I can't have that cookie or why my body is reacting to a food.  I don't want to do this weight loss AGAIN only to re-gain the weight.  I NEED to understand, accept, learn, come to enjoy - all those words along that line - that this is a way of life for me.  Just because Phase 3 of Dr Poon's allows a food doesn't mean it's a food that I can allow.  Not to be afraid of those foods, just to make that choice that they trigger me (physically and mentally), and lead me down a path I no longer want to go.