TRUST ME! Yeah, right

My body is suspicious. She thinks I'm talkin smack.  (looked that up means - Insulting speech, especially when intended to irritate or annoy someone.)

I don't believe that's the case now.  It has been in the past years.  Of all the plans I've made, getting my body on board is a major one.  Why?  Well, because of what I've done to her.  All those crazy diets, pills, exercise and binge eating, not eating etc.  True, I've been sincere in wanting to be kind to myself and be healthy and slim, but what I've put my body thru to get there is another story.

In OA I learnt how some people, although they are eating correctly for them, the weight will not come off - until they continue for a long while, and then suddenly the weight drops.  I actually know this from my own experience.  At that time it happened to me too.  I was told to keep focusing on eating properly and let my body follow.

That's what I'm going to have to do in RH and beyond.  I need to just follow what is right for me to eat, and proper exercise and just show my body that she can trust me.  I have been explaining to her what I'm doing and how much I love me, but because I ain't doing it now, there are questions.  And those questions are starting to bother me.

I've called my doctor.  I'm going to ask him to send me to Dr Poon, and see if I can get in before I go to RH.  There needs to be action, not just talkin smack.  Though I'm thinking at this point, between the day I see my doctor, he faxes, they call, and if I get it.... will basically be timed with going to RH.  Either I will get in one appointment before I go, or have an appointment a day after I get home.

If I know low carb... well what's stopping me then from starting right this very moment.  Nothing.  Nothing but fear.  Nothing but the need to know what I'm doing to follow.  Nothing but wanting support.  To be in a place where the detoxing can be handled by those more experienced then me.  I don't like detoxing, and that shows when I start and a few days I cheat.  I don't want to cheat anymore, I don't want excuses, I don't want to be melting down over a piece of food and arguing in my head about it.  That's why I'm semi-stalling, to get thru those first few days.  Anyone who has detoxed will understand it.    BUT, to be on the fair side, I have been monitoring my foods since starting this blog - so not all is lost.  It's just not perfect, and I like perfect.  (and perfect is never going to happen!  ha ha ha)