My jeans are comfortable. Usually after a summer of shorts, my jeans are tight in the fall. I personally think they shrink over the summer! But not this year.
To be fair, I have been working at eating better for a long time. As in 2 years.
History time: (repeat but with more numbers - great for those who like math)
I have always been on the chubby side as a child. In my teens I was 180 lbs, and met my then hubby (hubby #1), we married 2 months after I turned 18, and I weighed 220 lbs. At 260 lbs and 2 years later I asked him to go back to his parents (he did), and I went to the doc for diet pills. Lost weight in 6 months and weighed 180 lbs again. But I was fit and muscled too. About 1 1/2 years after that I had a crash emotionally, and ate like there was no tomorrow. Gained 60 lbs in 3 months. Afterwards gained more over the years until my late 30's. Around 38 yrs, and over 300 lbs - never was weighed exactly, but the doctor thinks it was 330 lbs, I had lipo suction and a tummy trim. Thought is was the thing that would get me to lose weight. With this surgery and a bit of monitoring my food intake my weight bounced between 270 and 290 lbs.
I had thought of gastric surgery, but I knew it wasn't for me. I guess I didn't trust I would keep the weight off, and was worried about what would happen if I ate afterwards. I had thoughts once the weight was off, I'd be able to eat anything I wanted again.
At 270 lbs, I started AA / OA and herbal diet pills - cuz I knew they would work with the mega exercising - and I didn't get the program idea enough or the belief I could lose weight properly. As a trigger food I gave up chocolates. By not eating much, pills and exercise I got back down to 180 lbs. I was 44 years old. Met my now hubby AJ, and started to eat foods again. Some weight came back - up to 200 lbs. I also was ill physically.
I think a lot about that time and the start (?) of the illness time. I really think the herbal pills and not eating and mega exercising and mega stress about it all triggered things big time. Was always there in my body, but that tipped it over the cliff. I was spiraling down, couldn't stop and ate - I decided very calmly to eat chocolates again after 6 years of not eating them and told this to AJ. He wasn't sure about it, but it really wasn't his decision. I remember driving in the city and looking at my hands on the steering wheel and wondering who's hands they were and how to control them. Now I think Spirit was driving those times because I made it to the places. I would ask AJ to pass the salt - but I couldn't form the words or even think what that white stuff in the shaker was. Anxiety was at an all time high too. Not to mention all the other physical reactions my body was going thru.
By the time I needed to leave work I was 240 lbs and 48 years old. Living in the city was stressful for me and I wasn't physically healing. Just before my 50th birthday we moved up to The Cove. At 51 I started looking at juicing and healthier foods, vegetarianism etc. More a month here, then a month there - not a lot of stringing them together. Tried a few things - like the herbal pills again, but I knew what they had done, and couldn't do them again. Threw out the bottles after just taking a few. Tried AA / OA but wasn't into that because it just reminded me of dating. AJ is the love of my life and I have no interest in another man, so doing the route I did before isn't an option for me.
This last year - age 53, has brought more stability to me with foods and eating. I found the vegetarianism has been easier on me, and that I could do more months together. But not get the weight off. I bounce between 240 and 245 lbs.
I don't weigh myself unless I go to the doctor - and he weighs me. I figure my clothes will tell me. And this month my clothes told me - my jeans are comfortable.
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