Was watching some of shows called The Brain With David Eagleman was very interesting. And made me realize looking into the past is not worth it because the truth is never true in the memory.
But first - PAST.
He talked how everything is in the past. EVERYTHING. Even reading this is in the past as it takes nano seconds for the brain to register what was read, focus back and think on it. It's already in the past.
Next
He talked about how what we see isn't really all of it. Let's see if I can sum this up. Basically the eye takes in a bit, and in the brain the rest is created. It's the brain that creates what we see by the bits that we take in. So seeing a cow walk down a street makes us stop because in our brain that doesn't register as where we should be seeing a cow. Also why if we look a a sky line with tall buildings we take it all in. Because our brain again fills in the spaces. As our eyes go up and down and sideways etc, the sky line continues to look still. But if you take a camera and move it around taking a movie as the same way and then watch it..... it looks nauseating. That's because our brain makes the sky line still.
Continuing on this
There is a man who was blinded as a very young boy/baby. At the age of (I can't remember but around 30-40 yrs) he got a chance to have surgery and got his sight back. Wonderful right? He was a companion downhill skier too. When the doc's took the bandages off. He couldn't focus on what he was seeing. His brain wasn't connecting it. He saw his young boys.... and he couldn't tell who they were. Years later, he still couldn't tell, still had seeing and registering problems. The sight / vision was fine, but the brain just couldn't balance it. Skiing... he couldn't get the vision of the trees, etc. The brain just didn't register it and feed it back to understanding. He has over the years been able to get some balance, but overall still a problem.
Then there was
We create what we see. Simply put we see what we create in our brains. So that cow on the street - throws us as it's not something we tend to create to see.
And memory
That one did me in. Basically the brain again fills things in. So taking my suffer post and wondering about the Tom cat.... me sitting there thinking on it.... did I really remember or did I create with what I know about my father, about how I grew up, and did my brain make a story that would make sense to me. So that tells me.... truth is not necessarily true.
So what is the point then of trying to heal things from the past if all the past is truth created by my brain? What is the point of believing what I see?
In the end, I went to bed having made the decisions:
I'm no longer looking into my past to heal.
I'm no longer believing things I see.
I'm just going to see what I want.
I'm not going to trust memories.
And on another note - I'm not going to bother with doctors anymore either. I'll just try to figure out what to do if something hurts. Speaking on that - yeah, my chest does continue to hurt. The Previcid that I have taken did help with the stomach pains, but the chest turned out to become angry.
Like before it was a busy group of buzzing wasps around a hive doing all their waspy things they do in life. That was the chest pains. Then someone comes along and bats the hive - and those wasps doing waspy things are now furious, angry, out to sting wasps. The cough I have now too isn't helping the chest.
Ok, yeah, I'll probably still go to doctors. Do doctory things required. Like the Pulmonary Test I have scheduled for Monday, and the Abdo (gallbladder) ultra scan in two weeks.
I called my sister, told her I wasn't coming tomorrow to her card making class. I am sad about that. I really did want to go. But with being so tired, needing to do a MTX shot today, and coughing, and rain scheduled - I just can't find it in me to do that 3 hour drive there, and 3 hour drive home. I'm concerned driving will be challenging and I don't feel I should gamble it.
I'm not pissy about that show (3 of them) that I watched on The Brain. I actually found it very interesting and wonder if there's more shows on it coming. My decisions before bed - well, yes and no. I probably will look at the past again, but the show has changed how I look at it, at memories, at truth.
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