Where's My Head

Where's my head at?

Lately I've been spacey.  I was thinking the other night - what do I feel.  I thought - numb.  Not in a depressed way.  Just numb as I don't feel much of anything for some reason.  I thought too, as AJ was coming up to bed (I was already trying to sleep) I thought.... urgh I forgot to put his tablet in the bathroom so he could turn on the security system.  I also forgot to do a few more other things.  Which at this point, I don't remember now either.   

Mostly just mindlessly forgetting small things.  And I feel like my feet are off the ground.  I'm not grounded I guess... making my head spacey, logical.

I was talking with AJ about moving.  Not really in any form, just in general.  Happened with my chest pain and me saying how cutting the grass is an issue.  That I wasn't liking it - I hate having trouble doing gardening as I enjoy it, but I just feel so worn about doing all the work.  I hate that.  I don't understand that.  I want to do something that I enjoy, and the pain and worn ness is making what I enjoy a chore.

The next day I was wondering what to look up on the computer, so I decided realtor.ca.  I ended up in Sarnia on a post of a 3 bedroom condo, 2 balconies, and a beautiful view of the river!!!  4th floor.  Told AJ about it.  I said THAT condo would get me to move out of this house and into a condo.  Then I showed him the condo post.

We spent the afternoon looking at condos around Ontario.  NOTHING appealed to me / us as that one condo in Sarnia.  We left it at that.  

Realizing, we've only been here one year, selling wouldn't help us financially as we'd lose too much.  We'd need to sell for mega $$ as we'd need get the condo with no mortgage.  Between the fees etc it would be better with no mortgage.  Besides we doubt they would lower the price of the condo so much that it would make it worthwhile for us to move.  Now.. with that million in the bank..... we could make a decision much easier..... get a gardener or move.

And the condo in Sarnia.... it allows pets, room for a scooter in the condo, has sunlight, underground parking, we can get a copy of the rules and regulations, a semi-quiet street.... per the realtor.  Who has us booked for Monday to see the place.  Yeah.  AJ knew and said yes.  He knew I couldn't not see the place.  I need to see it.

Where the f*k is my head at?????????????????